SURVIVAL MODE, TRAUMA RECOVERY & MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH

Why do you still feel unsafe when the danger is already gone?

In Raw Minds Season 2 Episode 109, host Erick McManus sits down with Joseph Okoroji, author of A Mark in the Sand, to explore survival mode, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, and the psychology of change.

What if the habits that once protected you are now holding you back?

When you've spent years expecting the worst, trusting nobody, suppressing emotions, or handling everything alone, those behaviours can become part of your identity.

But what happens when you no longer need them?

Joseph explores how survival responses can continue after difficult experiences, why accepting help can feel uncomfortable, and what it takes to move beyond the person you had to become to survive.

THIS CONVERSATION EXPLORES:

• Why survival mode can outlast the danger

• Trauma recovery and emotional resilience

• Why men struggle to ask for help

• How past experiences affect relationships

• Hyper-independence, trust, and vulnerability

• The difference between surviving and living

• Self-sabotage and unhealthy coping patterns

• Personal accountability and setting boundaries

• Rebuilding identity after trauma

• How to move forward without abandoning your past

ABOUT JOSEPH OKOROJI

Joseph Okoroji is an author, coach, and entrepreneur whose work focuses on identity, resilience, responsibility, and personal change.

His book, A Mark in the Sand, explores the practical lessons that emerge when life forces us to adapt.

Get Joseph's book:

https://a.co/d/087BxwYj

Contact Joseph:

joseph.okoroji@googlemail.com

ABOUT RAW MINDS

Raw Minds is a men's mental health podcast hosted by Erick McManus. We have honest conversations about mental health, trauma, addiction, recovery, relationships, fatherhood, and rebuilding your life.

Nobody's coming to save you. But that doesn't mean you have to fight alone.

For the ones we never meet.

CONNECT WITH RAW MINDS

Website: https://rawminds.ca

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rawminds

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rawmindspodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rawmindspodcast

Email: rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

SUPPORT RAW MINDS IN TOP HOST

Vote for Erick:

https://tophost.org/2026/erick-mcmanus

If this conversation helps you understand survival mode, trauma, or emotional healing differently, subscribe to Raw Minds and share this episode.

QUESTION FOR THE COMMENTS:

Have you ever realized that something you learned to survive was now holding you back?

#MensMentalHealth #TraumaRecovery #SurvivalMode

PLEASE HELP ME WIN TOP HOST 2026!

Raw Minds is competing for Top Host 2026, and I need your support.

If you believe in real conversations, men's mental health, and giving people a voice, please take a moment to vote.

VOTE FOR ERICK:
https://tophost.org/2026/erick-mcmanus

Every vote matters. Thank you for helping Raw Minds reach more people.

59 DAYS ALONE AT SEA. THEN HE STARTED HEARING VOICES.

What happens to your mind when you're alone in the Atlantic Ocean for 59 days?

In Raw Minds Podcast Season 2, EP. 108, Erick sits down with Alan Fortuin, a former British Army captain who spent 59 days rowing solo across the Atlantic Ocean in the World's Toughest Row.

After 35 years in the British Army, Alan took on an extraordinary challenge at 67 years old.

He spent six years preparing for a 3,000-mile ocean crossing, despite having no previous ocean rowing experience.

But nothing prepared him for what happened at sea.

Violent storms. A capsized boat. Three terrifying knockdowns. Failing steering equipment. Broken satellite communications. Complete isolation.

Then he started hearing voices.

Alan began talking to his equipment and giving personalities to everyday objects to cope with the loneliness. His automatic steering system became a companion. A tennis ball became his Wilson.

Through fear, exhaustion, uncertainty, and isolation, he continued rowing.

This conversation explores men's mental health, psychological survival, resilience, discipline, aging, finding purpose, and overcoming adversity.

Sometimes survival comes down to one decision.

One stroke at a time.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction to Alan's incredible journey
06:35 The Old See Dogs and Guide Dogs charity
07:27 Alan's military background
15:19 The desire to keep challenging himself
21:38 Planning an Atlantic rowing adventure
22:36 Six years of preparation
25:01 Training for complete isolation
27:29 Entering the World's Toughest Row
32:14 Staying motivated through setbacks
34:44 Preparing for ocean survival
45:00 The dangerous Atlantic crossing begins
49:15 Fighting to reach open water
51:45 The reality of rowing alone
53:30 Hearing voices in the Atlantic
58:00 Losing satellite communications
1:00:00 Talking to equipment to survive isolation
1:05:00 Finding encouragement from another rower
1:07:00 Surviving a capsize and violent waves
1:10:00 Dangerous encounters with massive ships

CONNECT WITH ALAN FORTUIN

The Old See Dogs

Instagram: The Old See Dogs
Facebook: The Old See Dogs

Alan's Guide Dogs fundraising campaign:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/in-support-of-the-guide-dogs-for-the-blind

World's Toughest Row:
https://www.worldstoughestrow.com/

CONNECT WITH RAW MINDS

Website: https://rawminds.ca
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rawminds
Instagram: @rawmindspodcast
TikTok: @rawmindspodcast
Email: rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

Subscribe for real conversations about men's mental health, resilience, personal growth, and the stories that deserve to be heard.

For the ones we never meet.

#MensMentalHealth #OceanRowing #MentalToughness

Are you living your own life, or following beliefs you never chose?

In Raw Minds Season 2 Episode 107, Erick sits down with Madhav Nakar, cybersecurity researcher and creator of The Fire of Knowing, for a raw conversation about men's mental health, identity, fear, family conditioning, and breaking the patterns that keep us stuck.

Madhav explores how childhood expectations, culture, and self doubt shape the way we see ourselves.

Erick shares what it took to walk away from a career in construction, overcome the fear of being on camera, and build a new life.

They also discuss why success doesn't always bring happiness, why people pleasing can quietly take over your life, and how spirituality, self awareness, and daily choices can help you reconnect with yourself.

What happens when you realize your beliefs, fears, and even your definition of success might belong to someone else?

Can you break the patterns you've spent your entire life following?

And who would you be if everything you used to define yourself disappeared?

This conversation explores what it means to stop living on autopilot and start questioning the person you've become.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Are you living a life you never chose?

02:10 Meet Madhav Nakar

04:00 The Fire of Knowing and his spiritual journey

05:29 How your identity gets programmed

08:36 Family conditioning and inherited beliefs

10:15 Facing fear instead of running from it

14:01 Distractions, loneliness, and the phone trap

17:15 Why men need their own space

18:43 Why success can still leave you miserable

20:20 Confronting fear in public

22:09 The fear of being seen on camera

24:35 Vulnerability and the purpose of Raw Minds

28:12 Spirituality and enjoying the passage of time

33:23 Finding lessons across spiritual traditions

36:44 When self improvement becomes avoidance

38:23 Silent patterns and people pleasing

40:06 Who are you without money or status?

40:31 The question every man should ask

CONNECT WITH MADHAV NAKAR

The Fire of Knowing:

https://thefireofknowing.com/

YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@TheFireofKnowing

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thefireofknowing/

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/madhav-nakar/

SUPPORT RAW MINDS

Vote for Erick in Top Host 2026:

https://tophost.org/2026/erick-mcmanus

Raw Minds Website:

https://rawminds.ca

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/rawmindspodcast

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@rawmindspodcast

Business and Guest Inquiries:

rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

Raw Minds is dedicated to honest conversations about men's mental health, identity, trauma, recovery, personal growth, and rebuilding your life.

If this conversation makes you think of someone carrying more than they show, share it with them.

Subscribe to Raw Minds and help us reach the men who need these conversations.

QUESTION FOR YOU:

Are you living a life you chose, or one you were taught to live?

Tell us in the comments.

For the ones we never meet.

More than 30 arrests. Fraud. A foreign prison. Federal prison. Gambling. Loss. And eventually, a decision to stop running.

David Watson joins Raw Minds to tell the true story behind his memoir FORWARD ONLY.

Raised by his grandparents in North Texas, David says his life changed after losing his grandfather at only 12 years old. What followed was decades of running from consequences, grief and himself.

From stealing money as a teenager and crossing state lines, to fraud, jail in the Bahamas, repeated arrests and eventually a federal prison sentence, David’s life kept escalating until there was nowhere left to run.

Then came one of the darkest moments of his life.

While incarcerated, David learned that his mother had died. Alone in solitary confinement and facing years more behind bars, he reached a point where he questioned whether he wanted to keep living.

What happened next changed the direction of his life.

David began taking responsibility for his decisions, rebuilding himself, repairing relationships with his family and eventually writing FORWARD ONLY, his memoir about consequences, accountability, redemption and second chances.

This is not a conversation about glorifying crime.

It is about what happens when a man finally stops blaming everyone else and decides his past will not control where he goes next.

If you are running from addiction, gambling, anger, shame, grief, bad decisions or your own past, this conversation is for you.

FORWARD ONLY by David Watson is available now wherever books are sold.

RAW MINDS

Real conversations about men's mental health, growth, accountability and the things people keep buried.

https://rawminds.ca

Contact:

rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

CHAPTERS

00:00 David Watson’s story

02:10 What FORWARD ONLY is really about

03:49 Growing up with his grandparents

05:13 Losing his grandfather

08:28 Running away as a teenager

09:23 Stealing from McDonald’s and disappearing

15:02 Arrested driving a stolen car

19:44 Stealing a truck and escalating crime

22:25 His first serious arrest

26:40 More than 30 arrests

27:39 Fraud and prison in the Bahamas

34:42 Running again after the Bahamas

36:09 “You are the package”

38:45 The road toward federal prison

39:16 Arrested by the Secret Service

40:35 Gambling, fraud and self destruction

41:04 Losing his mother while incarcerated

42:18 The moment everything changed

43:46 Planning a different life from prison

44:10 Writing FORWARD ONLY

46:15 Why prison became his stop sign

47:13 Why he refuses to go backward

48:15 The years he can never get back

51:24 Accountability and second chances

55:42 What David would tell a man still running

57:10 Change your environment

58:17 Where to find FORWARD ONLY

Subscribe to Raw Minds and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Why do smart people keep making choices they already know are going to hurt them?

Raw Minds Season 2 Episode 104 welcomes Matt White, author of The Snack Monkey: How to Stop Eating the Whole Packet.

Matt has lived with CRPS and chronic pain for more than 30 years. He spent roughly 25 years taking prescribed codeine, competed with the Great Britain para-climbing team, and has spent much of his life learning what happens when pain, habits, instant gratification and resilience collide.

But this conversation goes much deeper than chronic pain.

Matt breaks down the idea behind The Snack Monkey, the voice in your head that says:

"Just one won't hurt."

One more episode.

One more snack.

Skip one workout.

Start again Monday.

Take the easy option.

Matt explains the battle between what he calls The Captain, the part of you thinking about your long-term goals, and The Snack Monkey, the part that wants comfort and relief right now.

We get into:

The Snack Monkey

The Captain vs instant gratification

Why smart people make irrational decisions

Breaking bad habits

The "Fuck It Button"

Why one mistake can turn into giving up completely

Conscious choice and personal responsibility

Work, family and health balance

Living with CRPS and chronic pain

25 years of prescribed codeine

Walking away from painkillers

Resilience vs self-destruction

What happens after life knocks you down

The moment between getting hit and getting back up

Reframing failure

Why words and identity matter

"What if it works?"

Wim Hof and the foreword to The Snack Monkey

This isn't a polished resilience story.

It's a conversation about pain, behaviour, addiction, habits, awareness, choice and what it actually takes to keep moving when life hits you hard.

MATT WHITE

Book: The Snack Monkey: How to Stop Eating the Whole Packet

Website: therealsnackmonkey.com

LinkedIn: Search Matt White + The Snack Monkey

CHAPTERS

0:00 Living With Pain for 30+ Years

1:46 Meet Matt White

3:34 Would Matt Remove His CRPS?

7:36 Powered By Pain

10:49 The Reality of CRPS

15:22 How The Snack Monkey Started

19:23 Behaviour Change, Not Dieting

20:15 The Two Voices In Your Head

21:40 The Captain vs The Snack Monkey

23:26 The Snack Monkey's Greatest Trick

25:57 Work, Family and Health

28:33 When You Actually Decide To Change

32:35 The "Fuck It Button"

35:47 25 Years of Prescribed Codeine

40:31 The Danger of Automatic Choices

42:49 Changing Your Default

45:42 What Balance Actually Means

49:19 The Side of Resilience Nobody Talks About

50:38 Get Off The X

52:21 The Limbo Between Pain and Action

54:06 Failure vs Learning

55:38 Reframing Your Story

56:35 What If It Works?

59:35 Final Thoughts

60:16 The Snack Monkey and Wim Hof

RAW MINDS

Real conversations about mental health, trauma, addiction, grief, fatherhood, resilience and what it actually takes to keep moving forward.

https://rawminds.ca

If this episode hits home, subscribe, leave a comment and send it to somebody who needs to hear it.

For the ones we'll never meet.

Healing Out Loud.

#TheSnackMonkey #MattWhite #RawMindsPodcast

How close can a man get to losing his life while everyone around him thinks he is okay?

In Raw Minds Season 2 Episode 105, Erick sits down with Daron Seals for a raw conversation about depression, loneliness, childhood trauma, toxic relationships, suicide, therapy, identity, vulnerability, and what happens when a man finally stops pretending everything is fine.

In 2020, at 25 years old, Daron reached one of the darkest points of his life. He was struggling with a breakup, money, friendships, unemployment, isolation, and years of pain he had never properly dealt with.

He survived that moment.

What came next was not some overnight transformation. Daron had to learn how to talk. He had to ask for help. He had to find the right therapist. He had to learn how to trust people again and begin dealing with the parts of himself he had spent years hiding.

Today, Daron uses his experience to create the conversations he once needed through The King’s Effect Podcast and Men’s Talk Show.

This episode gets into why men hide their emotions, the pressure to “man up,” childhood trauma, toxic relationships, suicide prevention, mental health support groups, finding the right therapist, learning boundaries, Black men’s mental health, vulnerability, podcasting, and turning pain into something that can help somebody else.

Sometimes the man telling everybody he is fine is the one fighting the hardest battle.

Daron Seals

The King’s Effect Podcast

https://www.youtube.com/@KingsEffect2025/

Men’s Talk Show

https://youtube.com/@menstalkshow

RAW MINDS

Website

https://rawminds.ca

YouTube

https://youtube.com/@rawminds-cs3ci

Instagram

@rawmindspodcast

TikTok

@rawmindspodcast

Email

rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

CHAPTERS

00:00 The war nobody can see

02:29 Meet Daron Seals

04:42 Who Daron was before therapy

09:12 Why men are taught to hide emotion

10:19 Family pressure and toxic masculinity

11:08 What pushed Daron toward the edge

12:21 Daron’s darkest moment at 25

14:41 Turning pain into a testimony

15:46 The support groups that helped save him

16:33 Messages from men who want to give up

22:15 When friendships disappear

24:16 Why asking for help felt weak

26:35 Finally going to therapy

30:29 How childhood trauma follows you

32:48 Finding help after the suicide attempt

35:08 The right therapist can change everything

40:50 Learning how to trust in therapy

44:28 Why Daron started talking publicly

45:00 Black men and mental health

49:31 Lessons from building a mental health show

55:03 Advocates struggle too

57:15 Why boundaries matter

60:41 The King’s Effect and Men’s Talk Show

62:16 Why mental health creators need each other

#MensMentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Therapy #RawMinds

men's mental health, depression, grief, athlete mental health, youth mental health, suicide loss, identity after sport, soccer, resilience, mental health awareness, Dehara Thompson

What happens when the thing that defined you for most of your life is suddenly gone?

Dehara Thompson was playing provincial soccer at 15. By 17, she had reached the South African Women's National Team. She earned a full university scholarship, pursued professional soccer in Europe and played with Newcastle United Women.

Then a serious car accident changed everything.

The sport that had given her structure, identity, discipline and purpose was suddenly no longer the same. Dehara opens up about the depression that followed, physical pain, rebuilding her identity and eventually finding another outlet through music.

But this conversation goes much deeper than soccer.

Dehara and Erick talk about men's mental health, why many men still do not feel safe opening up, youth mental health, competitive pressure, parenting, social media, screens, discipline, accountability and what young people may be losing when they never learn how to struggle, lose and recover.

Dehara also shares the devastating loss of a former partner to suicide and what the aftermath taught her about grief, warning signs, unanswered questions and the ripple effect suicide can leave behind.

Erick opens up about surviving his own suicide attempt in 2015 and why something as simple as an adult coloring book became part of rebuilding his life.

They also talk about art, music, community, coaching, motherhood, raising boys, supporting young athletes and why feeling safe enough to make mistakes can change the way a person grows.

Near the end, Erick asks Dehara about the mutual friend who ultimately connected their stories, Jules.

That conversation gets personal.

GUEST

Dehara Thompson

Executive Director, She Plays Sports Society
Former South African National Women's Team player
Former Newcastle United Women's player
Community leader and coach

Website:
https://deharathompsonforpoco.com

Instagram:
@dehara_thompson

TikTok:
@deharathompson

CHAPTERS

00:00 Dehara Thompson's Story
03:44 Where to Find Dehara
04:24 Who She Was Before Soccer
05:20 Where Her Competitive Drive Came From
06:58 Handling Pressure at 15
11:23 South African National Team at 17
13:35 Family Breakdown and Using Soccer as an Outlet
17:58 Success and Constantly Moving the Goalpost
18:45 Losing a Scholarship, Then Getting Another Chance
21:22 Chasing Professional Soccer in Europe
22:20 When Your Identity Is Built Around Sport
22:49 The Car Accident That Changed Everything
25:36 Rebuilding Her Identity Through Music
27:55 Erick's Own Soccer Story
33:27 Women in Coaching and Leadership
36:38 Building She Plays Sports Society
38:24 Coaching the Human Being, Not Just the Athlete
45:22 Raising a Son Changed Her Perspective
47:05 Boys, Men and the "Suck It Up" Mentality
48:01 Do Men Actually Feel Safe Opening Up?
50:31 Losing a Partner to Suicide
54:19 The Warning Signs We Sometimes Miss
58:06 Erick Opens Up About Surviving Suicide
60:31 How Coloring Helped Erick Rebuild
61:21 Art and Music as Tools for Healing
64:56 Parenting, Screens and Youth Mental Health
68:23 Competition, Confidence and Learning to Lose
71:26 Accountability and Fixing the Wound
74:27 Remembering Jules
77:16 Dehara's Final Message
79:13 Why Raw Minds Exists

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide or experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 in Canada or the United States.

RAW MINDS PODCAST

Real conversations about men's mental health, trauma, grief, addiction, fatherhood, relationships, resilience and rebuilding your life.

For the ones we'll never meet.
Healing Out Loud.

Website:
https://rawminds.ca

TikTok:
@rawmindspodcast

Instagram:
@rawmindspodcast

Facebook:
Raw Minds Podcast

Business / Guest Inquiries:
rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

Subscribe to Raw Minds and tell us in the comments:

Johnny Mitchell says parental alienation cost him years with his daughter, pushed his mental health to the edge, and left him fighting a family court system he felt powerless against.

In this episode of Raw Minds, Johnny opens up about divorce, custody battles, being blocked from contacting his daughter, alcohol addiction, two DUIs five days apart, a heart attack at 35, crushing legal debt, losing his parental rights, and the moment he was told his daughter would be adopted by her stepfather.

This conversation goes much deeper than family court.

Johnny talks about what happens to a father mentally when his identity as a parent is stripped away, why he turned to alcohol to numb the pain, what finally forced him to change, and how close he came to completely losing himself.

Erick also shares his own experiences with custody battles, separation from his daughter, mental health struggles, and the emotional reality many fathers never talk about.

Johnny and Erick make one thing clear. Parental alienation can happen to fathers or mothers. This conversation is about what happens when children become caught in adult conflict and the psychological damage that can follow.

Johnny also shares how reconnecting with his biological father helped him rebuild his life, why he has remained sober, and why he still believes his daughter may one day come back into his life.

GUEST

Johnny Mitchell

TikTok:
@therealJonathanMitchell

RAW MINDS PODCAST

Real conversations about men’s mental health, trauma, fatherhood, grief, addiction, recovery, relationships, and rebuilding your life.

Website:
https://rawminds.ca

YouTube:
@RawMinds

TikTok:
@rawmindspodcast

Instagram:
@rawmindspodcast

Facebook:
@rawmindspodcast

Email:
rawmindspodcast@gmail.com

FRIDGEFIX

Open your fridge. Find out what you can make with what you already have.

https://fridgefix.ca

CHAPTERS

00:00 Intro
02:19 Johnny Mitchell joins Raw Minds
04:00 Who Johnny was before everything changed
07:25 Marriage breakdown and the beginning of alienation
14:00 The first major warning sign
23:23 Alcohol, depression and spiraling
28:17 Erick opens up about his own suicide attempt
35:40 Losing a best friend and the wake-up call
37:39 Heart attack at 35
43:02 Reconnecting with his daughter, then being blocked
46:26 Legal bills and financial collapse
50:01 Representing himself in family court
55:18 The ruling that changed everything
57:00 The woman Johnny says helped save his life
01:03:05 Reconnecting with his biological father
01:09:46 Supporting other alienated parents
01:15:26 Living with zero contact
01:18:35 The journal idea for his daughter
01:25:21 Six years until she turns 18
01:27:16 Johnny’s message to struggling parents

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide or is in crisis, call or text 988 in Canada or the United States.

If this conversation hit you, share it. A father, mother, or family going through this may need to hear it.