『Radical Acceptance of Children's Own Wisdom with Jenn Glacel』のカバーアート

Radical Acceptance of Children's Own Wisdom with Jenn Glacel

Radical Acceptance of Children's Own Wisdom with Jenn Glacel

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If we spend childhood teaching a kid that adults know their body, needs, and limits better than they do, it is a pretty big leap to expect self-trust to magically appear in adulthood. Jenn Glacel is back on the podcast, and this time we are talking about what she calls radical acceptance of children's inner knowing or wisdom. Before anybody starts rolling their eyes, this is not an argument that a four-year-old has all the information necessary to run the household. Jenn makes an important distinction between knowing something about your own experience and having the language, context, or skills to explain it. Kids may know what they are feeling or what they need without being able to communicate it in a particularly useful way. We also talk about the difference between autonomy and independence. We tend to treat autonomy as something children earn once they can be independent in the ways adults expect. But needing help does not mean a person should lose their say over their own body, preferences, or experiences. The humble winter coat becomes our case study. If your child says, "I'm not cold," and you repeatedly respond, "Yes, you are," what are they learning? Maybe they are learning about coats. But they may also be learning that their own bodily experience is less trustworthy than an adult's interpretation of it. This does not mean we let a kid wander into ten-below weather in shorts because autonomy. Context matters. Sometimes the adult has information the child simply does not have yet, and safety requires us to step in. But at 45 degrees, maybe we bring the coat and let the kid gather some data. A lot of learning can happen without a lecture. That trust becomes especially important when we ask children to try something new. Jenn makes a point I love: when a child knows that their "no" will actually be honored, a push can feel safe. They can try the roller coaster, the new activity, or the unfamiliar experience because they know that if they change their mind, the adult will listen. If we say, "You can stop anytime," and then immediately argue when they want to stop, we have changed the deal. We also talk about shifting from judgment to curiosity. Jenn's starting assumption is that if a child can do something, they will. If it is not happening, instead of jumping immediately to lazy, defiant, disrespectful, or "they just don't want to," we can ask what is getting in the way. As I say in the episode, you can be right and indignant, or you can be curious and in relationship. And yes, sometimes what we discover is that the dishes are not going to get done on our preferred timeline and, tragically, we may have to wash them ourselves. That same idea of mutual respect comes up in the tiny daily interactions too. If we want children who say please and thank you, are we saying please and thank you to them? If we want respect, are we treating them as people worthy of respect? Kids are watching what we do much more closely than they are memorizing the lecture. None of this requires children to communicate their needs beautifully. Dysregulated kids can express themselves in some truly spectacularly unappealing ways. Our job is not to assume that a badly delivered need is not a real need. Our job is to become detectives, slow things down, and figure out what the child may not yet be able to tell us clearly. Because helping kids trust themselves starts with showing them that we are willing to listen. Key Takeaways Children can know something about what they need or feel even when they cannot explain it clearly.Autonomy and independence are different. Needing support does not mean a child should lose their voice or choices.Children build self-trust when adults take their bodily experiences and signals seriously.Supporting autonomy does not mean ignoring safety. Adults still provide protection, context, and support when the stakes require it.Kids may be more willing to try something new when they trust that their "no" will actually be honored.If a child is not doing something we expect, curiosity is more useful than immediately assuming laziness, defiance, or disrespect.Sometimes the question is not "How do I make my child do this?" but "What is preventing this from happening?"Respect works both ways. Children learn respect by experiencing it, not just by being told to show it.Dysregulation can make it difficult for kids to express what they need in ways adults can easily hear.Parents can become detectives, slowing down enough to look beneath the behavior and figure out what their child may be communicating. About Jenn Glacel Jenn Glacel is an autistic licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist with a private practice in Falls Church, Virginia. Through Seven Corners Psychotherapy, she works with children, adults, parents, and families through a radically neurodiversity-affirming lens. Her work includes child-centered play therapy, family support, and education for parents and practitioners about what ...
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