How does a man's heart feel after he's climbed a mountain? How do his eyes look when he sees another mountain still in front of him? Today you called me over and you were out of breath. You have climbed mountains. After a while you will be so high in the sky that the mountain you climbed today will look like a tiny black ant. Self-esteem is not how you look. It's not even how you feel. Self-esteem is that inner voice. No, not that one. That loud one. Self-esteem is the quiet voice. The one that does not speak with words. It doesn't have to. Self-esteem is silent and speaks through action. Small acts every day. Small efforts. Small steps. The trying. The mistakes. The failures. The forced smiles. Completing a set of 7 instead of 10 on the last rep in the gym. Completing only four. Three…two… Losing but showing up again. Losing breath but finding it by going slow and focusing. Listening to your body. Self esteem is failing today, and failing better tomorrow. Self esteem is the inner voice that speaks through never giving up. The silent animal of your body that has protected you, somehow, to this very moment. To still being here. And to failing better than ever. To being better than ever. To breathing deeper. When you first arrived to this country, without words, I saw your eyes swallow up the room. So big and bright and wide and lost. And scared. The eyes speak what words cannot. I recognized something in you and your brother that first day - a familiar look of being lost. The same look of fear I still see in the mirror sometimes. Not belonging. No language, and no voice. Unable even to ask to go to the bathroom. Each day since that moment, you have become more focused and accountable and have created your own talents and built your own strengths. What is the look in a man's eyes after he has climbed a mountain? How loud is his heart when he sees yet another before him? How does he breathe when the past means looking down and you can't. look. down. Clouds. The past is covered in clouds by now. You'd see nothing but an expanse of white if you looked down. A maddening, oppressive expanse of white. A blank slate. Freedom. Each day since, you have become more focused and accountable, and have created your own talents and built your own strengths. How did you do that? Something inside you kept you going up the daily mountains. Maybe it was that voice that guided your actions and got you out of bed. To school. To work. To the train. To another set of closing doors. Another set of closing eyes. To closing door after closing door until…one that opened. The voice you somehow listened to and that, somehow, guided you to take the step in front of you no matter the challenge. To always stand your ground. By being yourself and communicating your needs and feelings instead of fighting your feelings. Self-esteem is the inner voice that guides you to ask for help. The voice that, somehow, every time, even in the worst moments, helps you learn something. Self-esteem is the desire that dies every day a million times but is the burning desire to survive what you are going through and be better. Fail better. Self-esteem is not how you look, or feel. Self-esteem is how you see. Blue. Piercing, indescribable blue. Takes your breath away. I recognized that same look of fear yesterday, the look I first saw two years ago. This time, you called me over and spoke beautiful, elegant, incisive English that communicated to me perfectly who you are and how you face challenges. How you can and will climb steeper mountains. Your English is an accomplishment, so congratulations on that. Your power of self expression, another language in and of itself, one that takes people lifetimes and lifetimes to learn, is a gift - from nature - from somewhere in the silent air above the expanse of white clouds. So silent it almost hurts. Piercing. How does a man's heart sound? Let it flow, like the voice inside that guides the river exactly where it needs to go. Every time. Like the voice that, somehow, guides people like you and me up mountains. Anyone could you tell you to give up or stay put or start heading down the mountain to rest. Anyone could tell you to change direction. What does a man's heart tell him after he's climbed another mountain? When I feel scared, I know 4 things. I'm going to have to work hard I'm going to have to ask for help from people who have experienced the same challenges I'm going to have to change or adapt in some way. The opposite of fear is not bravery, or confidence. It's love. Self-love got you up mountains. It got you here, to this moment. The mountain has been inside all along.
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2024/12/181 分