When a child refuses to go to school, it can be easy to assume they’re unmotivated, being defiant, or simply trying to skip class. But school avoidance is often driven by anxiety — and understanding what’s behind it is an important first step toward helping kids get back to school.

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by Alana Cooperman, LCSW, a senior social worker in the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, to answer parents’ questions about school anxiety, avoidance, and refusal.

Cooperman explains how school avoidance can look different across ages, from crying and clinging to parents in younger children to stomachaches, sleep problems, irritability, frequent trips to the nurse, or repeated requests to come home in older kids and teens. She and Dr. Dave also discuss how ADHD, learning difficulties, autism, peer problems, academic pressure, and embarrassing experiences at school can contribute to avoidance.

In this episode, they cover:

• Common reasons kids may avoid school
• How bullying, peer conflict, tests, teachers, bathrooms, and lunchrooms can become triggers
• How ADHD, executive functioning challenges, learning disorders, and autism can contribute
• How to validate anxiety without validating avoidance
• Why staying home shouldn’t become more rewarding than going to school
• How gradual exposure can help kids build tolerance for anxiety
• When professional help may be needed
• Why progress isn’t always linear — and why effort matters

Further reading

When Kids Refuse to Go to School

How Anxiety Affects Kids in School

Anxious Stomachaches and Headaches

Have a question you’d like Dr. Dave and a Child Mind Institute expert to answer in a future episode? Send it through the Child Mind Institute’s social channels or email podcast@childmind.org.