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Pope Jokes, Fictional Grandmas, and F* Them Kids – A Birthday Episode for the Books 🥂👵🚿

This week on The Poor Choices Show, it’s a special one—we’ve got birthday surprises, Pope jokes, and shower thoughts that will haunt you. Things kick off with the burning question no one’s ever asked: how do you train your eyes? (Spoiler: you don’t. But we try.)

Then the chaos commences:
🍷 What happens when a blind person gets drunk? (This went places we’re definitely not qualified to go.)
🙏 Pope jokes so bad we’re probably going to hell.
🦻 THEY’RE LISTENING – and no, it’s not your paranoia. It’s real.

And the highlight you didn’t know you needed:
👵 The Fictional Grandma Draft – who’s making your cookies, telling your stories, and smacking you with a slipper when you act up?
🧠 Dad Brain is real, and apparently contagious.
💐 Mother’s Day reflections… quickly followed by
🙅‍♂️ “F* Them Kids” – featuring the kids next door who decided to introduce their soccer ball to the main water line…

Plus:
🎉 A HUGE Happy Birthday shoutout
🎈 A surprise visit from the birthday girl herself
🕵️ Match the criminal to the crime.
🧼 Shower thoughts that prove our brains need a factory reset

And to wrap it up:
😏 AskReddit: What’s your favorite way to ask someone if they want to have sex? (Spoiler: none of us are getting laid after this.)
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices – featuring a beer with a label so confusing we needed a decoder ring

It’s unfiltered, unhinged, and unintentionally profound in all the wrong places. But hey, it’s somebody’s birthday—so pour a drink, hug your fictional grandma, and enjoy the ride.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
1:49 – HOW DO YOU TRAIN YOUR EYES?
4:07 – HOW DOES IT FEEL FOR A BLIND PERSON TO BE DRUNK?
6:29 – THE NEW POPE
9:52 – POPE JOKES!
16:34 – THEY’RE LISTENING!
18:30 – FICTIONAL GRANDMA DRAFT
24:54 – DAD BRAIN
26:51 – MOTHER’S DAY
33:33 – F*** THEM KIDS
40:03 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
41:43 – VISIT FROM THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!
44:35 – MATCH THE CRIMINAL TO THE CRIME
47:36 – SHOWER THOUGHTS
51:24 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE WAY TO ASK SOMEONE IF THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX?
55:07 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
55:55 – OUTRO

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100 Dudes vs. One Gorilla, Bluetooth Pet Rocks, and the Darkest Jokes We Probably Shouldn’t Have Said 🦍💼🍺

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re joined by a guest and immediately put him on the spot—fortunately for you (and unfortunately for Chris) the guest is his boss. So naturally we start this one off with a totally normal workplace tradition called the Annual Performance Review. Where does Chris accel? What does he suck at? Let’s find out!

Then we dive into the important stuff:
🧒 David moved twice, in 7 years, and somehow manage to hold onto a bottle of salad dressing.
🦍 Would 100 full-grown men in their prime stand a chance against 1 gorilla? Spoiler alert, the 3 of us could take him.
🧠 Funny conspiracy theories – Were the pyramids built as a “You Are Here” sign?
💸 A $5,000 HDMI cable... for what? Streaming Shrek in 11K?
🦈 SHARK TANK pitches that include noise-canceling socks and a Bluetooth pet rock—your move, Mr. Wonderful

And just when you thought it couldn’t get dumber:
😈 The darkest jokes we could legally (barely) include.
🧪 A hypothetical scenario involving time travel, but only 10 seconds worth…
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices—because we make better drink decisions than life decisions.
🧠 Trivia Time! Are we dumber or smarter than we think?
🎂 Celebrity birthdays! “It’s Maiter, Like Duh-Maiter”.
📱 Unsolicited text messages – Why yes, I’d love to join your rally.
📍 Places we’ve been that no longer exist (RIP Blockbuster)
💬 The most creative insults we’ve ever heard (Never have I ever been called an unfrosted Pop-Tart)

This episode is full of terrible business ideas, worse science, and probably enough HR violations to get us banned from even thinking about LinkedIn.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
2:05 – 7-YEAR-OLD DRESSING
3:12 – GUEST INTRODUCTION
5:56 – ANNUAL PERFORMANCE REVIEW
10:51 – 100 MEN VS 1 GORILLA
18:17 – FUNNY CONSPIRACY THEORIES
34:41 – $5,000 HDMI CABLE!?
39:12 – WHO IS PERRY REESE?
41:20 – SHARK TANK
1:03:30 – DARK JOKES
1:07:11 – HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO
1:12:18 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:15:48 – TRIVIA TIME!
1:21:07 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:24:37 – MIKAYLA DEMAITER
1:28:48 – UNSOLICITED TEXT MESSAGES
1:31:05 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A PLACE YOU’VE BEEN THAT NO LONGER EXISTS?
1:35:06 – PROFESSOR X
1:36:34 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE MOST CREATIVE INSULT YOU’VE EVER HEARD?
1:43:10 – OUTRO

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The story that made us want to know more: https://www.reddit.com/r/onions/s/RztxdiXAt4

YouTube Rabbit Holes, $5 Million vs. Prison, and a Totally Legal Dark Web Field Trip🐇💻🍻

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we accidentally prove why the internet shouldn’t exist—starting with the deepest, darkest YouTube rabbit holes we’ve ever fallen into (hint: it involves a weed whacker).

Then things spiral:
🧐 Is social media good, bad, or just slowly melting all of our brains?
😳 What woke Chris up at 3am? (You’re not ready.)
🧼 Power washer and lawnmower hacks we’ll never actually try but pretend we will.
🎮 A chaotic game of “Chain Link” that ends exactly how you think it would.
🍺 The “Beer Candle” invention that’s either genius or peak alcoholism (probably both).

PLUS:
🎤 We preview next week’s guest (and pray they don’t ghost us).
🔍 A game of “Guess the Google Autofill” that exposes how deranged our search histories are.
🎂 Happy Birthday shoutouts to celebrities who have no idea we exist.
🥳 National Days we’re legally obligated to pretend we care about.

And it wouldn’t be an episode without:
💀 Our most irrational fears (spoiler: clowns, mannequins, and… escalators?).
🎬 Movies that actually made us cry (yes, we’re still manly).
🏀 Would you risk 5 years in jail to score a single point on LeBron for $5 million?
🌐 A crash course on the dark web (and we swear it’s “just for research”).

Oh—and if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to get your house raided for buying illegal stuff online, we brought on a guest who lived it to tell you exactly how badly it goes.

This episode is equal parts hilarious, unhinged, and probably an entry on a government watchlist. Buckle up.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:34 – YOUTUBE RABBIT HOLES
11:25 – SOCIAL MEDIA
16:10 – 3AM WAKEUP CALL
19:09 – POWER WASHERS & LAWN MOWERS
23:07 – CHAIN LINK
27:13 – BEER CANDLE
27:52 – NEXT WEEK’S GUEST
29:12 – GUESS THE GOOGLE AUTOFILL
35:18 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
37:47 – NATIONAL DAYS!
38:46 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR MOST IRRATIONAL FEAR?
48:47 – MOVIES THAT MADE US CRY
50:29 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
52:01 – $5 MILLION OR 5 YEARS IN JAIL?
52:53 – DARK WEB INTRO
53:49 – DARK WEB RAID
1:21:16 – WHAT IS THE DARK WEB?
1:27:57 – OUTRO

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