Yes, it's true. After five incredible years Cal and Nick are retiring Polishing Turds as an audio podcast.

To send ourselves off and thank all the loyal fans who've supported us for so long, we conducted an exclusive Ask Us Anything episode, fielding terrific, thought-provoking questions from turdlings around the world.

What are our favorite and least favorite episodes?

How has doing this podcast changed our perspective on music?

What spicy takes can we drop that will alienate the few people who still listen to us?

All of these and more will be answered in what is (probably) the last thing we'll release in podcast form...

We love you all.

P.S., the podcast may be gone, but Polishing Turds is still alive and well! Follow our YouTube channel for exclusive videos on a wide range of music topics, as well as every episode of this podcast!: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Also, check out Cal's incredible profile on RateYourMusic, where he reviews and ranks hundreds of (mostly) metal albums!: https://rateyourmusic.com/~heavy_metal_forever

[Opening clip courtesy of the One-off Podcast with John Urban and Erik Kjelland]

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Did your parents make you listen to Kidz Bop CDs back in the day? If so, we apologize for inadvertently triggering your childhood trauma.

For everyone else, let's admire all the ways this seemingly innocent brand manages to embarrass itself over and over. From horrendous production to inexplicable lyric changes to a litany of ill-advised spinoffs and marketing gimmicks, Kidz Bop is living proof that sometimes the solution is worse than the original problem...

NOTE: We recorded this episode a couple days after the ICE shooting of Alex Pretti, which kind of fucked with our heads as you can tell. Also Nick had a cold which is why you can hear him coughing at several points. Enjoy!

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

We're back for our 5th annual Polishing Turds Holiday special! This year we'll be covering the wacky and disturbing world of AI, perhaps the one instrument capable of making Christmas music even worse. We'll take you on a cringe-tastic sleigh ride through vast snowfields of slop; from carols of reindeer sacrifice to fake vulgar Motown hits through - and I swear to god this real - a veritable library of AI Eminem singing gospel music. Don't say you weren't warned....

Select sources for this episode:

Janelle Shane's early forays into AI Christmas Carols: https://www.aiweirdness.com/the-ais-carol-19-12-24/

https://www.404media.co/ai-generated-christmas-music/

Mic the Snare video on spotting AI in music: https://youtu.be/hld8CNQdjQs?si=pVRQTldRYzRQD9MH

https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/are-you-listening-bots-survey-shows-ai-music-is-virtually-undetectable-2025-11-12/

THE WEIRDEST GODDAMN YOUTUBE CHANNEL THAT EXISTS: https://www.youtube.com/@MusicBarronTrump

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

In the conclusion of our series, we bring the Babymetal story up to date. Like it our not, these kawaii heroines are here to stay, having upset the Metal Establishment and fostered a fanatically loyal fanbase that follows them through every puzzling career move. But are they in fact "the future of metal"? And if so is that a good or bad thing for the genre as a whole?

Other topics of discussion include some bizarre Babymetal collabs, kawaii metal imitators and the mysterious departure of founding member Yui-metal.

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Fox Gods, crucifixions, and magic corsets oh my!

We continue the story of Babymetal by exploring the wild and confusing "lore" surrounding this group. We also examine the lyrical content of their early songs, cover the initial reactions they received from the Western music scene, and tackle the sticky question of whether or not Babymetal truly is "metal".

[Sorry, again, about the unusual amount of random noises in this one. At least there are no babies or dogs this time!]

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Ah, how fitting that this episode number is 2/3 of the Number of the Beast!

Today we continue to excavate the origins of Babymetal by diving into the history of Heavy Metal in Japan. This episode features some of the coolest bands we've ever covered, so for once we're actually excited to talk about our subject matter!

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

What comes to mind when you think of Heavy Metal? Is it three cute little girls wearing Lolita dresses and doing synchronized dance moves? Well if you answered "no" you're out of touch, my bruh!

Welcome to the preposterous world of Babymetal, a Japanese girl group that combines the saccharine imagery of J-pop with the bone-crushing heaviness of metal. Sounds incongruous? It is, and yet this group is one of the best-selling hard rock acts of our age, earning millions of fans across the globe with their unique brand of so-called kawaii metal.

In the first of a multi-part series, we examine the origins of Babymetal by exploring the wild and often problematic world of Japanese Idol music. Why do millions of Japanese men devote endless hours and thousands of yen to support 13-year-old girls who sing the lamest music on Earth? We spent 90 minutes talking about it, and we still don't know...

WARNING: This episode contains some rather dark subject matter, including sexual abuse of children. (Don't worry, it's still super funny, but also kinda fucked...)

Nick's stupid travel blog that he plugs toward the end of the episode: https://ghostonthehighway.blog/

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com

Don't you hate it when an artist wastes everyone's time by dedicating verses or even entire songs to shouting out dozens of random cities? No? It's just us? Well too bad, we're talking about it anyway!

Why do so many artists feel compelled to list off dozens of cities they may or may not have been to? Where did this phenomenon begin, and which songs are the absolute worst offenders of all? Join us for a quirky little study of one of the most annoying if unremarked-upon phenomena in music!

FOLLOW US:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polishing_turds

Instagram: polishing.podcast

email: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.com