Who's really keeping family life running? And how much of that work goes unnoticed?

This week, we get into the realities of sharing parenting responsibilities, particularly during school holidays. We talk about the mental load — all the invisible thinking, remembering, planning and organising that happens behind the scenes — and why simply saying “just tell me what you need” isn't always as helpful as it sounds.

We also explore the importance of communication, the balance between work and family life, and whether the everyday things we do for our families should come with an expectation of recognition or gratitude.

Then, a listener question takes us somewhere a little deeper: how do we balance being a strong, dependable parent with allowing our children to see our vulnerability and the fact that we're human too?

In this episode:

• What does the mental load actually look like in family life?
• Sharing childcare and responsibilities during school holidays
• Why “just ask me” can sometimes create more work
• Communication, expectations and finding a fair balance
• Do we need recognition for the everyday things we do?
• The importance of gratitude in relationships
• Being a strong parent while still showing vulnerability to your children

As always, there's plenty of honest conversation, a bit of disagreement and some questionable contributions from our four-legged studio guest!

A bit about Plumbline

We're Dave and Hope — married for over 20 years and raising three teenagers. Plumbline is where we have honest conversations about relationships, parenting, faith, culture and everyday life.

Get in touch

📩 plumblinepod@gmail.com

📱 Instagram: @plumblinepod

Plumbline — Episode 6

This week, it's Hope's birthday, and that gets us talking about how our celebrations change as we get older, why it's okay to ask for what you actually want, and whether presents really need to be a surprise.

The conversation takes a turn towards money, spending habits and the attitudes we pass on to our children. From growing up with very different ideas about money to buying quality, looking after what we own and saving our favourite things for special occasions — are we getting the balance right?

And, perhaps more importantly, should you actually wear your best trainers, or keep them looking fresh for the next 15 years?

In this episode:

• How our idea of the perfect birthday changes as we get older
• Is it okay to tell people what you want for a present?
• The money habits and attitudes we inherit from our parents
• Teaching our children the difference between wanting something and needing it
• Spending wisely, treating yourself and avoiding a scarcity mindset
• Buying quality and looking after the things we own
• The great debate: should you save your best clothes and trainers for special occasions?

As always, there's plenty of family banter, a few unexpected tangents and some honest reflections along the way.

A bit about Plumbline

We're Dave and Hope — married for over 20 years and raising three teenagers. Plumbline is where we have honest conversations about relationships, parenting, faith, culture and everyday life.

Get in touch

📩 plumblinepod@gmail.com

📱 Instagram: @plumblinepod

This week, we're joined by our teenagers for an honest conversation about parenting from the other side. We hear what they really think about our rules, from TikTok and screen-time limits to sleepovers and how much freedom they should have as they get older.

We don't agree on everything, but that's kind of the point. How do you keep your kids safe while learning to trust them, give them independence and let them make their own decisions?

In this episode:

• What our teenagers really think about TikTok and social media
• Are our screen-time limits too strict?
• The debate over sleepovers, safety and trust
• Giving teenagers more independence as they grow up
• The parenting decision Hope wishes she'd made differently — speaking Spanish at home!
• Plenty of family banter, unexpected opinions and a little chocolate-related controversy

We'd love to hear what you think. Are we too strict, or are these the kinds of boundaries teenagers need?

A bit about Plumbline

We're Dave and Hope — married for over 20 years and raising three teenagers. Plumbline is where we have honest conversations about relationships, parenting, faith, culture and everyday life.

Get in touch

📩 plumblinepod@gmail.com

📱 Instagram: @plumblinepod

This week, we’re back with a catch-up, a slightly chaotic game, and some really good questions from listeners. From the things that drive us mad to the choices we’ve made in marriage and parenting, we’re reflecting on what we’ve learned along the way — and what we might do differently.

In this episode:

• The things that annoy us most: A blind-ranking game covering bad manners, inconsiderate drivers and people who interrupt your piano practice.
• Getting married young: What would we say if one of our children wanted to get married young? We talk about dreams, timing, relationships and making space to explore different paths in life.
• First impressions: What did we think of each other when we first met at youth group?
• The clothes we’d secretly throw away: An honest discussion about comfort, style and the outfits that perhaps should have stayed in the wardrobe.
• Parenting choices that paid off: Looking back at raising our three teenagers, we reflect on teaching manners, taking the kids with us rather than building life entirely around them, and the little things that seem to have made a difference.

We’re also answering more of your questions, so if there’s something you’d like us to talk about — serious, funny, awkward or somewhere in between — send it our way.

A bit about Plumbline

We’re Dave and Hope, married for over 20 years and raising three teenagers. Plumbline is where we have honest conversations about relationships, parenting, faith, culture and the beautiful chaos of everyday life.

Get in touch

• Email: plumblinepod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @plumblinepod

Plumbline — Episode 3

We’re back!

After a summer break, Dave and Hope sit down for a proper catch-up — and answer the first question sent in by a Plumbline listener.

The question is a big one: what are the advantages and challenges of getting married young?

Dave and Hope got married at 24, and more than 20 years later they find themselves asking a slightly uncomfortable question: knowing everything they know now, would they still get married?

They talk honestly about growing up together, changing as individuals, the expectations they inherited around marriage and faith, and whether getting married can sometimes feel like the destination when actually it’s only the beginning.

• Catching up after the summer
• What it was like having time off and slowing down
• Why routine can actually be a good thing
• The podcasts, books and true crime that have kept them entertained
• Making Plumbline more interactive and answering listener questions
• Getting married young — the advantages and the challenges
• Growing and changing together over 20+ years
• Whether they knew each other as well as they thought they did when they got married
• The expectations around marriage that can come with growing up in Christian circles
• Whether singleness is celebrated enough
• The idea that marriage can become the “goal” rather than the beginning of something
• What Dave and Hope would do differently if they could go back
• And, perhaps most importantly… would they still choose to get married today?

Dave reflects that getting married young meant they had the opportunity to grow together, but also that both of them have changed enormously since they were 24.

Hope also reflects on whether she fully allowed herself to consider other ways of living when she was younger, particularly within the expectations she experienced growing up as a Christian.

And eventually they get to the question itself: if they could go back and make the decision again with everything they know now, would they?

Let's just say… it gets interesting.

Dave and Hope have been married for over 20 years and are raising three teenagers. Plumbline is an honest conversation about relationships, parenting, culture, faith and life as it actually is.

No experts. No perfect answers. Just two people figuring it out as they go.

This episode starts something new for Plumbline — listener questions.

Your question can be deep and meaningful, completely random, or anything in between.

Send yours to:

📧 plumblinepod@gmail.com

📱 Instagram: @plumblinepod

You can also leave a comment on YouTube or wherever you're listening.

We'd love to hear what you think.

If this episode made you think, laugh, disagree or rethink something, get in touch and let us know.

📧 plumblinepod@gmail.com

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📱 Instagram

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We’ve talked about our teenagers and social media before — but this time, we thought we’d actually bring them into the conversation.

Our three kids join us to talk honestly about TikTok: why they want it, what they think about the risks, what they’ve seen online, and how they feel about the boundaries we’ve put in place as parents.

We also get into algorithms, online safety, privacy, scams, parental controls, creativity, music discovery and the bigger question of how we prepare our kids to navigate a digital world that isn’t going away.

And, because this is Plumbline, it’s not a simple yes-or-no conversation.

• Why our teenagers want access to TikTok
• Why some of them aren't particularly bothered about having it
• What teenagers actually think about the risks of social media
• The way algorithms can shape what you see
• Online safety, privacy, scams and people with bad intentions
• Why we’ve chosen private accounts and parental controls
• How much responsibility parents should have — and when kids need to learn to navigate things for themselves
• The positive side of social media, including creativity, learning and music discovery
• Whether social media will eventually be viewed differently by future generations
• What our kids think about our rules compared with their friends’ rules

One of the biggest things we come back to is that the issue isn't necessarily whether we trust our kids — it's whether we trust the people and systems they're interacting with online.

At the same time, we don't want fear to prevent our kids from creating, learning, discovering music and developing their own voice. Social media can be genuinely useful and creative too.

So where do we land?

We're still figuring it out.

Dave and Hope have been married for over 20 years and are raising three teenagers. Plumbline is an honest conversation about relationships, parenting, culture, faith and life as it actually is.

No experts. No perfect answers. Just two people figuring it out as they go.

We'd love to hear what you think.

📧 plumblinepod@gmail.com

📱 Instagram/Tiktok/Youtube: @plumblinepod

Do your kids have TikTok? What boundaries have you put in place? We'd love to hear how other families are navigating it.

Welcome to Plumbline.

In this first episode, Dave and Hope introduce the podcast and talk honestly about why they decided to start it in the first place.

After more than 20 years of marriage, three children, busy careers and all the chaos that comes with family life, they found themselves asking some surprisingly simple questions: Who are we now? Are we still connected? Do we really know each other?

Rather than waiting for a crisis, they decided to make space to have the conversations they hadn't been having — and to explore what happens when two people who have grown and changed over the years deliberately choose to get to know each other again.

They also talk about their rather unconventional decision to move their family into Hope's parents' farmhouse, the realities of intergenerational living, raising teenagers, and the unexpected catalyst that helped push them towards the move: rats. Lots of rats.

Along the way, they reflect on marriage, communication, parenting, family, faith, changing seasons of life and the importance of making time for the people closest to us.

This is the beginning of the journey — and they're figuring it out as they go.

• Why Dave and Hope started Plumbline.
• Being married for more than 20 years and growing together — and sometimes apart.
• What happens when life gets so busy that your relationship becomes the "buffer".
• The importance of deliberately making time for each other.
• How therapy helped them recognise that they needed to reconnect.
• How much people can change over the course of a long relationship.
• Moving with three teenagers into Hope's parents' farmhouse.
• The realities — and unexpected benefits — of intergenerational living.
• Their experience of raising premature twins and navigating those early years.
• Learning from different generations within the family.
• Why communication matters when you're living with your in-laws.
• What Dave and Hope hope to explore in future episodes.

Plumbline is about having honest conversations about relationships, parenting, culture, faith and life — without pretending we've got everything figured out.

We'd love you to join us on the journey.

📧 plumblinepod@gmail.com

📱 Youtube/Instagram: @plumblinepod