“I started looking back and thinking ‘why is it I want to be a general therapist?’ I realised it's because there was still some internalised homophobia. And I thought ‘I need to fight against this. I'm not going down this avenue. Let's do something about that’.”

Overcoming shame & embracing who we are is a huge part of why Pride Month exists and it’s a topic I dive into with Dhiren Doshi-Smith (he/they), this week’s brilliant guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Dhiren is a counsellor, public speaker & model and was recently appointed as an ambassador for ADHD UK. He’s incredibly passionate about authenticity and his work centres this alongside neurodiversity, mental health & body image amongst other topics. Many of these close to my own heart so it was a real treat to delve into many of these during our chat as well as finding out more about Dhiren & his origin story…

Little Dhiren grew up in East Ham where his family had a shop & they were well known in the community. Dhiren describes his younger self as a ‘good Indian boy at school’ and ‘one of the geeks’ - he was quiet & reserved. He stayed that way until later in life when his mum sadly passed away and Dhiren fondly shares what he misses the most about her. It was then that he realised that life is too short and he started to address some of his shame.

Originally on a path towards a career in IT, a breakdown followed by a career break are what led to Dhiren pursuing his goal of becoming a therapist & where he found himself focusing more on inclusion. A great deal of this was shaped by his own experience too which he puts into action not just through his practice but also as a volunteer for various organisations including London Friend, Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline & QueerWell.

I could have chatted to Dhiren for hours. Other areas we cover include sex education, body confidnece, the importance of community, contentment, boundaries & how these days, Dhiren says, “I’m dancing for me.”

Please note | We cover some sensitive topics in this conversation around mental health, grief & more so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“Being proud is something that I never thought I would feel. And I'm not only proud of myself. I'm proud of everybody else that's on this journey. It takes real guts, strength and persistence.”

It’s Pride Month and this statement from the latest episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ couldn’t be more timely. James Dean (he/him) is a community facilitator, activist and pet sitter and co-leads the Not A Phase Trans+ Connect Later in Life Edition - a peer support group for Trans men & Transmasculine folk. I’ve followed James for a while on Instagram and his content is PURE JOY! This was actually our first chat and I was so excited to get into it…

Little James was a real tomboy and always up to mischief. “If you're clean, I know that you're up to something. But if you're mucky, we know you're doing your normal stuff,” his mother would say. Growing up was a ‘rough ride’ and James was bullied relentlessly leading to mental health issues, depression & self harm at a young age. James recounts a heartbreaking conversation with a teacher whereby he was unable to disclose how he was feeling as a result of Section 28 - the impact of which lives on.

When he first saw an openly Trans person on Loose Women, who James now calls a friend, he suddenly realised ‘that’s me’ and he began to manifest who he was on the inside. He’s careful to say that whilst he doesn’t use the word immediately lightly, he experienced 100% fold changes in his mental health when he started to transition.

We chat through James’ career from being a lifeguard to working in retail & later an inclusion consultant - and he shares a wonderful story about this latter experience. James originally wanted to be a vet so it’s not a surprise that he’s now a fully booked & busy pet-sitter which he loves. He cherishes the acceptance his clients have shown him as they’ve witnessed his transition.

We discuss authenticity, joy, travels with his partner, his recent Trans in the City accolade & more. Lightbulb moments crop up a number of times and each has played a role in the best adventure of his life so far - becoming James. “I want to be here as long as possible now,” says James. And so do we!

Listen in to this gorgeous conversation ASAP.

Please note | Conversations around mental health, depression, self harm & the current landscape for Trans+ people up so please take care of yourself whilst listening

“My education was stolen from me because I was gay.”

That statement is exactly why we’ve always needed Pride Month - since it began through to today.

In this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ I’m over the moon to be joined by Nicola Fenton (she/her). Nicola makes up one half of the wonderful humans of the Older Queer Voices Podcast alongside her wife Raga D’Silva (my first ever podcast guest & dear friend). She’s also a self-described ‘professional event-going queer’ and it’s always a joy to bump into them at various events! Nicola and Raga come as a team in every sense of the word and we chat about the incredible work they’re doing to bring visibility & a platform for LGBTQ+ elders.

Whilst Raga’s story is very much out there, as she does more public speaking, I was really keen to learn about Nicola’s origin story…

Little Nicola was born in Auckland, New Zealand and she was always out & about playing. She despised wearing dresses and after a doctor advised her mother to ‘buy her a pair of shorts’, she suddenly found freedom. It’s a glorious anecdote that has shaped her outlook today.

Nicola was a bright student yet a conversation with her Head Teacher after coming out led to Nicola being kicked out of school. She soon found herself standing outside a book store which led to her finding her people though reading lesbians romance novels and attending protests & marches. She suddenly found a place where she belonged. Community was and has always been fundamental to Nicola and this is evident today.

We talk through Nicola’s career from her first role as postie through to working for a creative agency & the world of events.

Nicola shares how her inclusion mindset began early through learning about Apartheid, indigenous communities & HIV, how experiencing a stroke amongst other health conditions has instilled in her a passion for her health & life and her pride in raising two children to be beautiful human beings.

Have a listen to find out about Older Queer Voices & their work, challenging the young-centric culture in the LGBTQ+ community and why Nicola calls me ‘Glitter Neil’. ENJOY!

“I am in all the circles that make me feel seen and there's nowhere really in my life that I feel like I need to hide anymore. Little me would be so happy.”

I’m kicking off my Pride mini-season of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ chatting to the adorable, hilarious & multi-talented Ki Griffin (he/they). Ki is an actor, comedian, community advocate, educator & facilitator, public speaker & more. They co-facilitate Not-A-Phase’s Trans+ Connect Enby Edition, a peer support group, alongside the equally brilliant Ben Pechey, former ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ guest & Ki’s “work-wife” and Ki has also just joined the team at Voda, everyone’s favourite LGBTQIA+ Mental Health App. It’s a busy time for Ki and even more so as Pride season begins…

Little Ki grew up in London in a loving home and was full of curiosity and describes their younger self as “the sweetest & loveliest” who was simply trying to be the best human they could be. Ki recalls being a happy kid until they started secondary school - an intergenerational experience for many of us in LGBTQ+ community which we discuss.

At 14 years old, Ki began to grapple with being Intersex & their sexuality after being outed which led to struggles with their mental health. Thankfully they share how their family were “the best support network” and they were able to retreat to the safety of their home & the internet.

We chat about Ki’s career journey. They wanted to be a paramedic growing up as they knew they wanted to help people - something still very prominent in the Ki we know & love today. They refer to their journey into inclusion as a ‘stumble’ and similarly, becoming an actor was never planned. Ki shares the story of their audition for Hollyoaks and how they went on to become the first Non-Binary character in a British soap. We also discuss Ki’s foray into comedy - having just performed a cracking set during Trans+ History Week - with them ramping this up. Watch this space!

Confidence & authenticity, blending self expression with professional roles, joy as an act of rebellion and navigating a world on fire are topics that come up and Ki uttered one of my favourite statements ever… “Be a feral little gremlin.” If you say so! Go have a listen…

Please note | Conversations around mental health, depression & anxiety come up so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“We really focus on providing access, supporting predominantly black women, into the events industry where predominantly we are on the stage being the entertainers and the performers, but we're not seen behind the scenes. It’s really important for me to support many who look like me to come through into the industry and so they see there's actually people who look like us doing all the hard work behind the scenes.”

Having been in the events industry for almost 20 years, I still find the lack of representation shocking, particularly at leadership level. So it was brilliant to welcome Nadu Placca Rodriguez (she/her), a fellow events professional and all-round badass businesswoman, to ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ and a fantastic guest as Lesbian Visibility Week comes to an end. Nadu is the Founder of The Zoo XYZ - a global creative & purpose-driven events agency which centres operational excellence, expertise & collaboration - and Co-Founder of The Association of Black Event Professionals.

A highly accomplished International Event Architect, Nadu has set up offices for The Zoo XYZ in London, New York & Ghana and we explore how the current landscape differs between them (there’s a fair bit of events focused chat in here for all you event profs!).

Little Nadu grew up in SouthEast London and had a fun & adventurous childhood. She recalls how she would build relationships with older kids so they’d have her back and understood hierarchy from a young age. A year of schooling in Africa gave her a real appreciation for the richness of culture which has shaped her today.

At 19 years old, Nadu had a baby and was ‘thrown into the reality of being a young mum’ and decided that as she was responsible for a small being, she should probably do something with her life. She was soon working three jobs and threw herself into exploring opportunities to figure out what she wanted to do.

She soon found herself in the world of events and she recalls the moment she realised it has shifted from simply a job to a lifelong career. And listen, it’s certainly not one without stress! When I ask Nadu what keeps her going when things gets tough, she hilarious responds “Babe I ain’t got no choice!! I've tried to quit many times. I've just resided to the fact that you try to quit enough times. The universe has not let you. So just continue.” I know this feeling well.

Right now is an exciting time for Nadu as she was recently appointed to the EVCOM board and has just joined the Community Advice Group (CAG) for Black on the Square - PLUS there's other stuff in the pipeline too so STAY TUNED for that!

We chat about Nadu’s pride in her daughter, the joy of yoga & driving around listening to loud music in her pink Mini Cooper and career failures.

If you’re interested in working with The Zoo XYZ, Nadu says ‘come to the experts!’ and she’s all about picking up the phone & having a conversation so get in touch!

“It took me until 41 to be like, ‘I actually like you’. It's a recent revelation because before then, I didn't like me. I liked what I did. It took a while to get there because you have to be demure, humble or whatever. And it's like, bitch, no. I can like myself. I can love myself. People can see that this is a journey and they could be like, maybe I wanna take a similar journey.”

Ooooosh hard f*ckin’ relate!

My guest for this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…” is author & journalist Sharan Dhaliwal (she/they). She’s the Founder of the UK’s leading South Asian culture magazine ‘Burnt Roti’ and the Founder & Co-Director of Middlesex Pride. I’m a regular reader & big fan of Sharan’s work (which appears regularly in The Metro amongst other publications) and I recently read her brilliant debut book ‘Burning My Roti: Breaking Barriers as a Queer Indian Woman' which came out in 2022. The book explores ‘how her Asian identity and queerness came up against capitalism and white supremacy’.

With Lesbian Visibility Week 2026 underway, Sharan’s voice as a queer woman of colour is one that is so needed right now when it comes to the importance of speaking up. Real, sharp & unique and shaped by her own lived experience, passion for community - which she describes as ‘my belief system’ - and her deep understanding of society, culture & history. She shares why being loud is so crucial right now & her origin story highlights this…

Little Sharan always had something to say. She grew up in Southall, West London and, in her words, she was a ‘walking bingo card for bullying’ and often seen as ‘weird’ or ‘not girly enough’. Support was scarce and Sharan focused on pop culture as a way to disconnect & simply get through. Her earliest feelings of belonging came in the form of discovering subcultures, namely metal music, emos & goths.

Sharan reflects on how a pressure to conform resulted in many dangerous situations and her work today covers many topics around this area including beauty expectations, dating, relationships, assumptions around gender, racial inequality, politics and more.

We discuss Sharan’s pride in ‘Burnt Roti’ and she shares “I still get so many messages from people who say that they came out because of Burnt Roti. They found their community because of Burnt Roti. They left abusive marriages because of Burnt Roti.”

Sharan & her wonderful partner Sabah (former podcast guest & friend of mine) got engaged last year. Their love story is beautiful and you can hear why during this conversation! We chat all about Sharan’s early career, including a random stint in payroll, her desire to become a queer historian, the issues with Pride events today and our mutual love of ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’. I loved this chat - have a listen.

FYI. Go check out ‘The Last Princesses of Punjab’ exhibition which Sharan was a part of… and SAVE THE DATE for Middlesex Pride: Sunday 2 August. I’ll see ya there!

“I had an awakening if you like. I've been out for many years but not really in the lesbian scene. And all of a sudden I was in a room full of queer women all having really nice chats and I felt like a kid in a candy shop. That was only four years ago. I was really proudly a lesbian at that point. And I then really wanted to own it. I wanted to say the word more.”

Embracing the term ‘lesbian’ has been an evolution with this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ and it’s a timely conversation with Lesbian Visibility Week just around the corner. And to be clear, she’s one of my best friends AND my favourite lesbian in the world!

Jayney Flatman (she/her) is a Global Operations Manager in the corporate travel industry - which she’s been in since the start of her career. She’s also one of the Co-Founders of The House of Happiness, London’s Ultimate Queer Sober Clubbing Extravaganza (alongside me) and up until last year, she headed up a community group for queer women & non-binary people. An understanding of inclusion is something Jayney feels is fairly new to how she shows up in the world but how she puts it into action has been shaped by so many of her experiences…

Little Jayney & her family moved around a lot. It’s a recurring theme in her life - and something we touch on in comparison to today. On the one hand, Little Jayney was a quiet & shy child whilst on the other, she was often the one leading a group & taking centre stage. “I’m very much a sea of contradictions” says Jayney, back then and again, now. She was convinced she’d either be famous… or be murdered. Which very much speaks to her dramatic flare!

School wasn’t pleasant for the most part and Jayney experienced a lot of bullying for being different. She would often run away & not fight back and very much felt like she didn’t belong. We explore the impact of this and why finding her voice & therapy have been game changers. As well as how discovering her love of a party & dancing have shaped her.

What makes this episode even more timely is that Jayney has just celebrated her 60th birthday so it provided the perfect opportunity for reflection AND celebration. She shares why she chose to throw a whole festival - brilliantly named JayneyFest - to mark the occasion, diving into self help books from her teens, how sobriety has changed her life, meeting her amazing girlfriend Jess and all things JOY!

Jayney chose the following three words to describe herself & her origin story: No Ordinary Girl. She really isn’t. And I can’t wait for you to hear this…

PLEASE NOTE: This episode contains mentions of bullying, domestic abuse & violence. Take care of yourself whilst listening.

“Through a lot of the experiences that I've had in life, I've hidden away and been quite private with the stuff I do. I would have never dreamed of speaking about myself in a public space before. But it's one of those things where I look at my career now and I'm starting to now understand that I've done a fair bit.”

And at 29 years old, Trenton Tomlinson (he/him), this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ recognised that there’s plenty of time to achieve so much more whilst allowing himself permission to get it wrong along the way.

Trenton is Label Operations Manager at UMG UK’s catalogue label, Universal Music Recordings (UMR), where he leads the day-to-day delivery of catalogue releases and creative campaigns. He has championed projects that bring historic music back into physical, digital and cultural circulation, including championing and leading on Black UK artist catalogues music from artists such as Ms. Dynamite, Unknown T &Linton Kwesi Johnson.

Little Trenton was a very inquisitive kid as well as being bold, sensitive & empathetic. He shares a brilliant anecdote about being in charge of the ‘Friendly Bus Stop’ at school where students could come if they felt lonely. It was a role he took seriously and he recalls how “I loved processes before I even knew what a process was.” Trenton grew up in Liverpool in a single parent household and shares how his mum ran the house ‘like a navy seal. They’re incredibly close today and whilst he acknowledges that hasn’t always been the case, with Trenton reflecting on how he wasn’t ‘an easy kid to understand’, the appreciation, love & respect he has for his mum is undeniable.

His career in music today isn’t quite what he had originally envisioned. Trenton was signed to a music label as a teenager and thought he was going to be ‘the next best thing’. It was a painful experience at the time that has shaped who & where he is now and we delve into the barriers & challenges in the music industry historically & today, where it’s improved and where there is still room for improvement.

Along with his passion for music, Trenton is deeply committed to equity & inclusion. He is Chair of UMG’s The Pride Network and serves on the UK City Of Culture 2029 advisory panel & BPI’s Equity & Justice Advisory Group, contributing to wider Diversity, Equity & Inclusion strategy.

We explore the trap of perfectionism, staying grounded, why it’s important to get involved and the unexpected joy of being an uncle.

I adore Trenton. He’s a brilliant human who always champions others - including myself. Listen in for a great chat!