“I started looking back and thinking ‘why is it I want to be a general therapist?’ I realised it's because there was still some internalised homophobia. And I thought ‘I need to fight against this. I'm not going down this avenue. Let's do something about that’.”

Overcoming shame & embracing who we are is a huge part of why Pride Month exists and it’s a topic I dive into with Dhiren Doshi-Smith (he/they), this week’s brilliant guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Dhiren is a counsellor, public speaker & model and was recently appointed as an ambassador for ADHD UK. He’s incredibly passionate about authenticity and his work centres this alongside neurodiversity, mental health & body image amongst other topics. Many of these close to my own heart so it was a real treat to delve into many of these during our chat as well as finding out more about Dhiren & his origin story…

Little Dhiren grew up in East Ham where his family had a shop & they were well known in the community. Dhiren describes his younger self as a ‘good Indian boy at school’ and ‘one of the geeks’ - he was quiet & reserved. He stayed that way until later in life when his mum sadly passed away and Dhiren fondly shares what he misses the most about her. It was then that he realised that life is too short and he started to address some of his shame.

Originally on a path towards a career in IT, a breakdown followed by a career break are what led to Dhiren pursuing his goal of becoming a therapist & where he found himself focusing more on inclusion. A great deal of this was shaped by his own experience too which he puts into action not just through his practice but also as a volunteer for various organisations including London Friend, Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline & QueerWell.

I could have chatted to Dhiren for hours. Other areas we cover include sex education, body confidnece, the importance of community, contentment, boundaries & how these days, Dhiren says, “I’m dancing for me.”

Please note | We cover some sensitive topics in this conversation around mental health, grief & more so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“Being proud is something that I never thought I would feel. And I'm not only proud of myself. I'm proud of everybody else that's on this journey. It takes real guts, strength and persistence.”

It’s Pride Month and this statement from the latest episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ couldn’t be more timely. James Dean (he/him) is a community facilitator, activist and pet sitter and co-leads the Not A Phase Trans+ Connect Later in Life Edition - a peer support group for Trans men & Transmasculine folk. I’ve followed James for a while on Instagram and his content is PURE JOY! This was actually our first chat and I was so excited to get into it…

Little James was a real tomboy and always up to mischief. “If you're clean, I know that you're up to something. But if you're mucky, we know you're doing your normal stuff,” his mother would say. Growing up was a ‘rough ride’ and James was bullied relentlessly leading to mental health issues, depression & self harm at a young age. James recounts a heartbreaking conversation with a teacher whereby he was unable to disclose how he was feeling as a result of Section 28 - the impact of which lives on.

When he first saw an openly Trans person on Loose Women, who James now calls a friend, he suddenly realised ‘that’s me’ and he began to manifest who he was on the inside. He’s careful to say that whilst he doesn’t use the word immediately lightly, he experienced 100% fold changes in his mental health when he started to transition.

We chat through James’ career from being a lifeguard to working in retail & later an inclusion consultant - and he shares a wonderful story about this latter experience. James originally wanted to be a vet so it’s not a surprise that he’s now a fully booked & busy pet-sitter which he loves. He cherishes the acceptance his clients have shown him as they’ve witnessed his transition.

We discuss authenticity, joy, travels with his partner, his recent Trans in the City accolade & more. Lightbulb moments crop up a number of times and each has played a role in the best adventure of his life so far - becoming James. “I want to be here as long as possible now,” says James. And so do we!

Listen in to this gorgeous conversation ASAP.

Please note | Conversations around mental health, depression, self harm & the current landscape for Trans+ people up so please take care of yourself whilst listening

“My education was stolen from me because I was gay.”

That statement is exactly why we’ve always needed Pride Month - since it began through to today.

In this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ I’m over the moon to be joined by Nicola Fenton (she/her). Nicola makes up one half of the wonderful humans of the Older Queer Voices Podcast alongside her wife Raga D’Silva (my first ever podcast guest & dear friend). She’s also a self-described ‘professional event-going queer’ and it’s always a joy to bump into them at various events! Nicola and Raga come as a team in every sense of the word and we chat about the incredible work they’re doing to bring visibility & a platform for LGBTQ+ elders.

Whilst Raga’s story is very much out there, as she does more public speaking, I was really keen to learn about Nicola’s origin story…

Little Nicola was born in Auckland, New Zealand and she was always out & about playing. She despised wearing dresses and after a doctor advised her mother to ‘buy her a pair of shorts’, she suddenly found freedom. It’s a glorious anecdote that has shaped her outlook today.

Nicola was a bright student yet a conversation with her Head Teacher after coming out led to Nicola being kicked out of school. She soon found herself standing outside a book store which led to her finding her people though reading lesbians romance novels and attending protests & marches. She suddenly found a place where she belonged. Community was and has always been fundamental to Nicola and this is evident today.

We talk through Nicola’s career from her first role as postie through to working for a creative agency & the world of events.

Nicola shares how her inclusion mindset began early through learning about Apartheid, indigenous communities & HIV, how experiencing a stroke amongst other health conditions has instilled in her a passion for her health & life and her pride in raising two children to be beautiful human beings.

Have a listen to find out about Older Queer Voices & their work, challenging the young-centric culture in the LGBTQ+ community and why Nicola calls me ‘Glitter Neil’. ENJOY!