In this solo episode of Pathological Positivity, Dr. Paul Jenkins looks at the question we ask ourselves when something goes wrong. Most of us start with a quick 'why me?', but it usually isn't a question at all. It's a complaint or a protest dressed up as one. He offers a four step strategy: recognize the question, notice the answer, choose a more powerful question, and remain in the question.

The first step is telling a genuine question from a complaint in disguise. "Why does this always happen to me?" already has an answer, and it isn't a helpful one. A real question stays open to discovering something we don't already know. Dr. Paul uses the example of a child who answers a limit with a protesting why. They aren't really wondering, they're trying to get you to change the limit. We do the same thing in our own minds without noticing.

The second step is noticing the answer. Our brains would rather have a questionable answer than sit with an unanswered question, so they will make one up. Dr. Paul shares a story from his book, Pathological Positivity, about the years before he was diagnosed with spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological voice condition. His mind had already handed him fabricated explanations, from unresolved psychological issues to old religious guilt, long before a specialist gave him the real answer. Once we see the answers we've accepted, we can ask whether they are true or even useful.

The third step is choosing a better question. Dr. Paul offers five to try when things don't go as planned. What's in this for me? What can I learn from this? What is there to be grateful for in this? How is this perfect for me? Given what is, what could I create next? Each one needs to be a real question, not a statement with a question mark on the end. He tells the story of spraining his ankle on the basketball court and hearing himself say "this is perfect for me" before he could see how it was.

The final step is the hardest: you don't need an answer right away. Dr. Paul describes a minister he once interviewed who would pause, put a hand over his heart, and ask what the lesson was whenever something painful or unexpected happened. Remaining in the question builds patience and humility, and it leaves room for the hidden treasures in the troubles to show up over time. Next time something goes wrong, notice the question, notice the answer, choose a better question, and stay in it.

Positives is the platform where these ideas become daily practice, and there is a free sample at pathologicalpositivity.com/positives. Learn more about the show at pathologicalpositivity.com and about Dr. Paul's work at drpauljenkins.com.

Live On Purpose Radio is now Pathological Positivity: same show, new name. In this solo launch episode, Dr. Paul Jenkins explains where the name comes from. It is the title of his first book, and it came from a moment with his editor, Thomas Cantrell, when Dr. Paul mentioned he had been accused of being pathologically positive. Thomas stopped him and said that was the title. In psychology, pathological can mean disconnected from reality, and it can also mean compulsively driven, like a pathological liar who can't stop. Dr. Paul borrows that second sense on purpose: a dogged determination to choose a positive position, no matter the circumstances.

He also looks back at how the show began. In 2007 he anchored a Thursday edition of a talk radio series on K Talk in the Salt Lake City market, and found out on his way to the office that his slot was gone. A friend suggested he put the show on a podcast, back before podcasting was a thing. After nearly twenty years and 726 weekly episodes, the radio name has served its purpose. The new name better reflects the contribution he wants to make: meaningful frameworks that turn knowledge into action, because it doesn't make a difference until it gets into your shoes.

Dr. Paul draws a line between this and toxic positivity, the paste-on-a-smile version that dismisses real pain. Genuine positivity acknowledges reality, including the disappointments and difficulties, and then chooses how to engage with it. He notes that attitude literally means position, an aviation term for the plane's position relative to the horizon. It doesn't tell you where you are, but it tells you where you're going. He gives a quick look at the positivity model's two mental processes, evaluation and creation, and why metacognition, thinking about your thinking, puts you in a position of power. Awareness precedes choice.

For this new season, he promises three things: real psychology, remarkable stories, and a radically different way to live. He invites listeners to recommend guests, and closes with a word about Positives, the platform where these ideas become daily, weekly, and monthly practices. Breakthrough learning changes what you know. Transformational learning changes who you become. There's a free sample at pathologicalpositivity.com/positives. Learn more about the show at pathologicalpositivity.com and about Dr. Paul's work at drpauljenkins.com.

In this solo episode of Live On Purpose Radio, Dr. Paul Jenkins takes on a quiet assumption many of us carry: as soon as I feel motivated, then I'll do it. We wait to feel like exercising, having the hard conversation, or changing the habit. His point is that motivation is a feeling, not a prerequisite. Feelings are not commands, and they don't have to come first. Motivation is useful when it shows up, but it is unreliable as a strategy because our energy, our circumstances, and the stories we tell about them can change on a dime. He also warns against hearing "I don't feel like it" as "I can't do this right now."

When the alarm goes off, Dr. Paul suggests asking a new question. Instead of "do I feel like exercising?", ask "am I committed to my health?" He draws on Mel Robbins' five second rule. Count down from five to one, then take a physical action like sitting up or putting your feet on the floor. A countdown ends in a launch, which is why counting up doesn't work. Once you move, you have momentum, and progress is what makes us feel motivated. As he puts it, don't wait for motivation to create movement. Use movement to create motivation. He ties this back to episode 724 and the idea that action is part of the practice that strengthens a new neural pathway.

To make the first step doable, Dr. Paul suggests making it ridiculously small. Don't write the book, open the document and write one paragraph, even if it says "I don't even know what to write." Don't fix the relationship, start one meaningful conversation. Don't become a positive person, catch one negative thought today and reconsider it. He adds that meaning is more powerful than motivation. Motivation asks whether you feel like doing this, while meaning asks why it matters, who benefits, and who you are becoming through the practice. When the why is strong enough, the feeling becomes optional.

The episode closes with an invitation. Think of one thing you already know matters, something you have been waiting to feel motivated to do, and do five minutes of it without checking how you feel. Then notice what happens to the feeling once you get moving. You can steer a moving car, but not a parked one. Dr. Paul also mentions that the podcast is heading into a refresh and rebrand soon, and that Positives is a place for practicing these ideas rather than just consuming them. There's a free positivity power pack to sample at liveonpurposeradio.com/positives. Learn more about the show at liveonpurposeradio.com and about Dr. Paul's work at drpauljenkins.com.