There is a version of you that meets new people first — agreeable, quick, easy to like. Laura Desirée has a name for it: the representative. It shows up so someone can be liked before the actual, more complicated self risks the room.

In part two of her conversation with Dr. Emma, Laura — erotic architect, intimacy professional, and the force behind the immersive erotic salon Eros Unbound — talks about the burnout that finally forced her representative into retirement, and what she learned about honesty during her years as a full-service sex worker, where strangers told her things they couldn't say at home. Why does distance make confession easier than intimacy does? What would it take to make the person who already loves you as safe to tell the truth to as someone you'll never see again? They also get into her mother's last years — a freezer packed with a year of meals, built by hand before the end — and the poem Laura returns to when she needs permission to be exactly who she is.

The question this episode leaves you with: who is the representative standing in for in your life, and what would it cost to send yourself instead?

Full show notes:

This episode is supported by Nine to Kind Planners — code EMMA20 for 20% off at ninetokind.com.

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