In Episode 3, I sit down with my brother Sagewolf... devoted father of five, husband, and powerful guide for men. We talk about the lifelong hunger for community, how it changes over time, and what becomes possible when you’re willing to meet yourself honestly. This one goes deep into accountability, supportive confrontation and the kind of community that doesn’t just comfort you... it sharpens you.

This episode is part of the mini-series The Way Beneath “The Work,” where I’m exploring the deeper, often unseen journey of finding your true place in the ecosystem of supporting other humans. Sagewolf and I trace the thread of community through his life from being the kid who just wanted to be with his people, to becoming someone immersed in potent circles and now helping lead them.

We talk about the shift from chasing belonging through identity, achievement, and external validation to discovering a deeper form of community rooted in acceptance, radical honesty, and ownership. Sagewolf shares how years behind the chair in the hair world became an unexpected mirror reflecting patterns back to him and sparking meaningful change. From there, we explore ecstatic dance as “church,” embodied spaces, and what changed when he stepped into Sacred Sons.

One of the most powerful moments we unpack is Sagewolf’s first experience being asked to name a judgment toward someone he didn’t know, and meet it directly. We explore how facing charge in real time can transform judgment into connection, and how intimacy isn’t just sexual... it’s about a true closeness without barriers.

We also talk about why so many people struggle to receive community mirrors at all... the “I’m fine” mask, the drive to keep it together, and the tendency to wait until rock bottom before reaching out. We break down the difference between being called out and being called in, and why real community doesn’t exile you when you’re out of alignment, it invites you back in.

If you’ve been craving deeper community but don’t know where to start, Sagewolf offers grounded guidance: show up more than once, move your body, be willing to raise your hand first—and if you can’t find what you need, create it. Sometimes it really does start with a few people, a meal, and one honest conversation.

As always, listen with ears and heart open. Take what speaks. Leave what doesn’t. And keep showing up.

Connect with Sagewolf: https://www.instagram.com/sagewolf_eto_eda/

00:00 — Welcome to Out Of Step & The Way Beneath “The Work”

02:05 — Introducing Sage Wolf

04:00 — What Does Your Most Authentic Self Look, Sound, and Feel Like?

07:10 — A Lifelong Hunger for Community

12:30 — The Hair World as a Mirror

16:45 — Early Personal Development & Cracks in the Old Identity

18:30 — First Steps Into Men’s Work

20:45 — Discovering Sacred Sons

24:30 — Acceptance, Radical Honesty, and Ownership

28:45 — Why People Can’t Receive Community Mirrors

33:20 — The First Sacred Sons Experience

36:45 — Meeting Judgment Head-On

44:45 — Brotherhood vs. Social Circles

47:30 — Accountability, Reps, and Sharpening the Edge

52:30 — Finding Your Version of Accountability

55:45 — Call-Out vs. Call-In

58:45 — How to Build This Kind of Community

01:02:30 — A Human Reminder

01:05:20 — Gratitude & Closing

This episode is a deep conversation about ancestry, spirit, and the support available to us when we remember where we come from. I’m joined by my friend Ari Huitzilopotchli, who works with women in midlife navigating identity shifts, endings, and the space between who they were and who they’re becoming.

This conversation is part of The Way Beneath the Work — a mini-series exploring what it really takes to find our true place within the ecosystem of supporting other humans. Not through branding, titles, or positioning, but through a deeper remembering of who we are and how we’re meant to serve.

Ari shares her own journey... from decades behind the chair in the salon to the deeply grounded work she holds now with individuals, women in midlife, and couples. Together, we explore ancestry, spirit, guidance, and how to tell the difference between intuition and the anxious head-chatter that so often pulls us off our path.

We talk about elders, lineage, belonging, and why this work is not meant to be rushed. Why healing isn’t something to “finish,” and why so many of us feel disconnected from our worth, our purpose, and our sense of place — even while helping others find theirs.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, listen more deeply, and trust the longer journey of becoming who you’re here to be.

Listen with an open heart. Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t.

Connect with Ari:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/fearless.femme.life/

Website: https://www.fearlessfemmelife.com/

00:00 — An Invitation to Listen
How to meet this conversation with curiosity instead of agreement.

02:25 — Belonging Beneath the Roles
Why this work isn’t about titles, branding, or identity labels.

04:10 — Ari & the Call of Ancestry
Meeting Ari and her relationship with spirit and lineage.

07:45 — Growing Up with Spirit
Early awareness, family dynamics, and learning to live with the gift.

12:30 — The Salon as Sacred Space
Holding space long before having language for it.

17:50 — Medicine, Elders, and Restraint
Why guidance requires maturity, lineage, and care.

22:40 — Spirit vs. Head Chatter
How to tell intuition from fear-based thinking.

28:15 — Trusting the Leap
Fear, courage, and walking the path anyway.

33:00 — Beyond Fixing Ourselves
Why healing isn’t something to “complete.”

38:40 — The Body Remembers
Memory, fascia, and embodied release.

43:20 — When You Feel Disconnected
Rebuilding relationship with ancestry and spirit.

49:30 — This Takes Time
Why the long road matters.

54:40 — A Message from Spirit
A closing blessing on belonging and love.