The “what ifs” after TFMR baby loss can knock you over with their intensity and AMOUNT. After abortion for medical reasons pregnancy loss, you may look back and wish you could have changed the date, the timing, the type of procedure, your habits, your diet - ‘What if’ this or that would have made a difference or led to a different outcome?

In this episode we talk about where the ‘what ifs’ may be showing up, how it feels when these thoughts get loud, and what is under these thoughts. And gentle ways to hold and care for the ‘what ifs.’

JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. Finding ways to live their lives again, TTC again, parent and be in relationships - all while honoring the baby that has died.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby/pregnancy lost to TFMR

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, REPLAYS always available if you can't make it live

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 11th)

Join us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

Sabrina & Kate wrap up part 3 of 3 of "What Your Grief Actually Needs after TFMR" series and share the key 5 ways to work with and hold your grief gently and survive the horror of TFMR baby loss - these are real, doable, repeatable and helpful things you can do today. We practice these skills deeply and TOGETHER in the TFMR Support Sanctuary if you want to join us live. Through May 11th we have an opening price of $45/monthly and you are invited 💜

You were never meant to do this alone, and we survive this together, helping each other in the heartbreak of abortion of wanted babies.

JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby/pregnancy lost to TFMR

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, REPLAYS always available if you can't make it live

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 11th)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

‌Sabrina (Fletcher) and Kate (Carson) are back, sharing more about what your grief after TFMR *actually* needs. We're going all the way over to what you DON'T need in your grief after abortion baby loss. If these things have NOT felt like a help to you in your grief, you are not alone, and you are not crazy.

And tune back in to part 3 of 3 next time to hear how we have helped ourselves and our clients not only survive, but LIVE after TFMR, simple and doable.

And in this episode we invite you to check out this space, just for you:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Creative Commons License

https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

‌In Part 1 of 3 of 'What grief after TFMR *actually* needs,' Sabrina Fletcher brings in Kate Carson. These two TFMR grief experts talk about when therapy isn't enough and why you may be feeling this way. We are talking about when therapy models helps and when therapy models falls short (by no fault of the therapist) and when other supplemental grief spaces are needed.

This is part 1 of 3 of this series so tune back in over the next few days for more on this topic.

IN THIS EPISODE WE ALSO SHARE A SPECIAL INVITATION FOR YOU TO JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

OTHER SUPPORT ---> FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Creative Commons License

https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

In Part 2 of Becky's story, we pick up after her termination for T21 (Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21) and what life has looked like in the two and a half months since.

Becky talks about how she found the TFMR community... and how even then, she felt alone in her specific diagnosis. She shares what it was like to post her story in a mommy group and have 11 people private message her saying "me too, but don't tell anyone."

Becky talks about what nobody told her about the D&E procedure itself, that it was a two-day process. She talks about grieving loudly while her husband grieved quietly, and the moment she realized he was carrying the pain too, just differently.

Becky closes with words for anyone right now in the thick of a Trisomy 21 diagnosis, deciding whether to end their pregnancy: you're going to be able to breathe again. The first breath will feel like a gasp. But somehow, time marches on.

Thank you, Becky. Your baby boy was here, real, and so fiercely loved. <3

GROUP SUPPORT IN TFMR GRIEF:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Contact Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: www.theTFMRdoula.com/podcast

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

Becky, TFMR mom and mom to one living kid, shares her story of termination for T21. Becky was almost 40 and considering IVF when she found out she was pregnant naturally. She was over the moon to be pregnant. Then came the NIPT call... at work... while she was in front of her classroom. A heartbreaking 93% chance of T21, Trisomy 21.

In Part 1 of 2 of Becky's story, you'll hear how she decided to end her pregnancy after a Down’s Syndrome diagnosis. Becky needed to feel 100% certain before she could move forward. So she got her placenta biopsied, and when the results came back confirmed, she and her husband considered the two potential pictures of their baby's future - and what it would mean for their whole family. They thought about their ages, their firstborn toddler, finances, divorce statistics, and a world that isn't always kind. Even then, Becky was still going back and forth on her decision when more medical information - a poor pregnancy diagnosis for herself as well - also came into play.

Thank you for sharing about your baby boy and his Down Syndrome diagnosis, Becky. <3

GROUP SUPPORT IN TFMR GRIEF:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

In Part 1, we talked about feeling "stuck" in TFMR grief and how that feeling comes from using old, outdated ideas - using a broken map. In this episode, I'm showing you what's ACTUALLY in these grief waters.

The old grief maps say "here be dragons" - monsters to fight, stages to conquer. But you've actually BEEN to this territory. You know what's really there: manatees (your baby's continuing love, the gentle waves of grief you learn to swim alongside) AND a giant squid (the soul fracture of choosing termination for a wanted baby, the impossible grief that wraps around you in the dark).

The problem? Most people refuse to believe the giant squid exists because they haven't lived it, haven't held their dead baby, haven't named a baby and then had to choose their death. You're not stuck. You're not imagining things. You're navigating waters that don't exist on anyone else's map.

And that's exactly why you need people who've seen the giant squid too.

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, caring groups of 5–6 people
💬 Honest conversation, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Next Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Feb. 18th 2026
👉 Learn more & apply: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

If you’ve ever felt like your grief is never-ending, if you worry “will this ever end?” if you feel other people think you are ‘stuck’ in your grief after baby loss, listen in.

I share what that "I feel stuck" feeling may be showing up as after ending a wanted pregnancy. You’ll also hear why the *idea* of being “stuck in grief' feels so prevalent. And you’ll find relief in looking at “stuckness” in a new light.

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, caring groups of 5–6 people
💬 Honest conversation, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Next Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Feb. 18th 2026
👉 Learn more & apply: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search