The moment everything unraveled — a mother screaming in the cul-de-sac and the realization she could no longer pretend everything was fine.

Topics Covered

• The cul-de-sac moment — when the breaking point finally arrives
• The cost of keeping up appearances
• What it means to stop pretending
• Early warning signs hiding in plain sight
• The courage it takes to ask for help

Resources

• Partnership to End Addiction — 1-855-378-4373
• SAMHSA National Helpline — 1-800-662-4357
• Epilepsy Foundation — epilepsy.com
• Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
• Tweak by Nic Sheff

Today's episode is about the night my mom left, a latchkey childhood, an alcoholic stepmother, and learning to read the room before I could read a book.

Topics Covered

• The night my mom left
• Growing up as a latchkey kid
• Seeing my mom only every other weekend
• Living with an alcoholic stepmother
• The constant fear, anxiety, and instability of home life

Resources

• Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families — adultchildren.org
• Al-Anon/Alateen — al-anon.org
• It Will Never Happen to Me by Claudia Black
• Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt
• Running on Empty by Jonice Webb
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline — 1-800-422-4453
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Today's episode is about the three adults who were supposed to protect me — and what I learned from watching all of them.

Topics Covered

• Growing up with just my dad and my sister
• His authoritarian parenting style
• Being treated as a stand-in for adult roles
• Fear and anxiety from home — not just from my stepmother
• Moments of cruelty dressed up as discipline

Resources

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
• Running on Empty by Jonice Webb
• Psychology Today: What Is Parentification? — psychologytoday.com
• Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• Therapist Finder — psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Next week: the Sunday we announced to a whole church that we were adopting, before we'd told our own kids.

Today's episode is about the decision that changed the lives of everyone in our family and what happens when you make that decision without telling your kids before you tell the rest of the world.

Topics Covered

• Trying to have a third child
• Pregnancy loss and grief
• Deciding to adopt — and not telling the kids
• Kids finding out before we were ready
• The anger and hurt that followed
• Shaking a child's sense of security

Resources

• March of Dimes — marchofdimes.org
• RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association — resolve.org
• Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah Davis
• Child Welfare Information Gateway — childwelfare.gov
• Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption — davethomasfoundation.org
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
• Adoption is a Family Affair by Patricia Irwin Johnston

Next week: the little girl we were matched with, the phone call five days before we were supposed to leave, and a photo of two sisters that changed everything.