『Normalize therapy.』のカバーアート

Normalize therapy.

Normalize therapy.

著者： Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
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 Formerly: The Marriage Podcast for Smart PeopleCaleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele, 2025. For personal self-help use only. 人間関係 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 社会科学 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • Gaslighting Explained: The Ultimate Guide to What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Stop It

    Gaslighting Explained: The Ultimate Guide to What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Stop It
    2025/11/24
    Key Takeaways Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that makes victims question their memory, perception, and sanity through deliberate manipulation The term is originally derived from the 1938 play “Gas Light” where a husband manipulates his wealthy wife into doubting her reality as he attempts to steal her generational wealth Common tactics include lying, denial, minimizing feelings, blame-shifting, and rewriting history to gain power and control Victims often experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty trusting themselves or others Recovery involves seeking support, documenting incidents, trusting your instincts, and potentially leaving the abusive relationship https://youtu.be/NfJGNfpg2IQ If you’ve ever found yourself constantly second guessing your own memories, wondering if you’re “too sensitive,” or feeling like you’re losing your grip on reality in a relationship, you may be experiencing gaslighting. This insidious form of emotional abuse affects millions of people, leaving them confused, isolated, and questioning their own sanity. It is important to remember that gaslighting is not the victim's fault; the abusive behavior is a choice made by the gaslighter. Be reassured: you’re not imagining things, and you’re not alone. Gaslighting is a real, documented form of psychological abuse that mental health professionals recognize as deeply harmful. Understanding what gaslighting involves, why people do it, and how to protect yourself is the first step toward reclaiming your reality and your life. What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse where one person manipulates another into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. This deliberate psychological manipulation causes confusion, self-doubt, and increases the victim's reliance on the abuser. Unlike simple lying or disagreement, gaslighting specifically targets your sense of reality itself. As a result, victims often feel unsure about their own perceptions and reality, further deepening their confusion and vulnerability. The longer gaslighting continues, the more a victim may start to rely on the gaslighter to define reality. The term gaslighting comes from the 1938 play “Angel Street” (later called “Gas Light”) and the 1944 Alfred Hitchcock film adaptation. In the story, a husband systematically manipulates his wife’s environment—dimming the gas lights in their home while insisting she’s only imagining the changes. He denies her perceptions so persistently that she begins to believe she’s losing her mind. This is a classic example of a gaslighter gaslighting their victim, using manipulative tactics to make her question her reality. This deliberate campaign to undermine someone’s grip on reality gave us the word gaslighting. The distinction between gaslighting and other forms of manipulation or lying is crucial. While all relationships involve disagreement and (unfortunately!) even some lying, gaslighting specifically targets one’s sense of reality. It’s not about winning an argument—it’s about making you doubt your own perceptions, memories, and mental stability to gain control. Gaslighters may even suggest you have a bad memory, using phrases like "You're crazy – that never happened," to discredit your experiences and undermine your credibility. Gaslighting can occur in romantic relationships, families, workplaces, and friendships. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that 74% of women seeking domestic violence support have experienced gaslighting, making it one of the most common forms of psychological abuse. Women and marginalized groups are more likely to experience gaslighting due to systemic power imbalances. Types of Gaslighting Intimate partner gaslighting is the most recognized form, occurring in romantic relationships where an abusive partner systematically undermines the other’s reality. This might involve denying conversations,
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    22 分
  • Is My Spouse a Sex Addict? Understanding This Massive Challenge and Reclaiming Your Marriage

    Is My Spouse a Sex Addict? Understanding This Massive Challenge and Reclaiming Your Marriage
    2025/11/10
    Discovering that your partner might be struggling with sex addiction can feel overwhelming and frightening. You may be experiencing confusion, deep hurt, or uncertainty about your next steps. If you're asking yourself, "Is my partner a sex addict?" this article is here to provide you with the understanding and clarity you deserve during this difficult time. Sexual addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior or hypersexual disorder, is a complex mental health condition that affects many individuals and the people who love them. Recognizing the signs and understanding the true nature of sex addiction becomes a powerful starting point for addressing its impact on your partner, your relationship, and your emotional well-being. Key Points in This Article Understanding Sex Addiction: Sex addiction is a mental health condition rooted in emotional and psychological wounds, characterized by compulsive behaviors similar to other addictions, affecting about 3% to 10% of the population. Distinguishing Sex Addiction from Healthy Sexuality and Porn Addiction: Unlike healthy sexuality, which fosters emotional connection, sex addiction involves secrecy, shame, and behaviors used to avoid difficult emotions, often linked with broader compulsive sexual activities and pornography use. Signs, Symptoms, and Causes of Sex Addiction: Signs include loss of control, preoccupation with sexual thoughts, risky behaviors, and continuation despite negative consequences, often caused by trauma, family background, neurochemical factors, and co-occurring mental health conditions. Treatment and Support Options for Sex Addiction: Effective treatment includes individual, group, and couples therapy, sometimes medication, and support groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous, focusing on managing urges, addressing emotional wounds, and rebuilding trust. Supporting Partners and Moving Toward Recovery: Supporting a partner involves encouraging professional help, honest communication, boundaries, and patience, with recovery being a long-term process that can restore trust and foster emotional healing. What Is Sex Addiction? Sex addiction is a real, tangible challenge rooted in deeper emotional and psychological wounds—not simply a relationship issue or a matter of willpower. It's crucial for you to understand that sex addiction isn't caused by a lack of love or attraction toward you; rather, it stems from underlying psychological struggles that require specialized, professional support. Sex addiction mirrors other addictions, such as substance abuse, involving compulsive behaviors, intense cravings, and difficulty stopping despite devastating consequences. Studies suggest that sex addiction may affect about 3% to 10% of the general population in North America. Additionally, sex addiction occurs more frequently in men than women, with research indicating that for every two to five males with hypersexuality, one woman is affected. This article explores what sex addiction truly is, how it differs from healthy sexuality, the underlying causes, and the proven treatment options available for those ready to reclaim their lives from this condition. Defining Sex Addiction Sex addiction is often misunderstood, creating confusion about what actually constitutes compulsive sexual behavior versus a healthy sexual appetite. It's important for you to understand that sex addiction isn't simply having a high sex drive or enjoying frequent sexual activity with your partner. Healthy sexuality involves intimacy, closeness, and affection that foster emotional growth and deeper connection between you and your partner. In contrast, compulsive sexual behavior is characterized by using sexual acts to avoid difficult emotions, ultimately leading to significant amounts of shame, lies, betrayal and alienation within your relationship. Sex Addiction vs. Porn Addiction Sex addiction is also distinct from porn addiction,
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    21 分
  • Loving a Sexual Abuse Survivor: A Partner’s Practical Guide

    Loving a Sexual Abuse Survivor: A Partner’s Practical Guide
    2025/10/27
    Loving someone who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is a journey many walk but few discuss openly. As the partner, you stand in a unique and often challenging place. You may feel confused by triggers, hurt by what feels like rejection, and helpless in your desire to connect with the person you love. The past trauma can feel like a third person in your marriage, impacting everything from sexual intimacy to everyday affection. You are not alone in this. And more importantly, there is hope. Healing is possible, not just for the survivor, but for the relationship. We invited author, speaker, and survivor Mary DeMuth to Normalize therapy for a compassionate and practical conversation. She and her husband, Patrick, have navigated this path and offer a rare window into the journey from both sides. https://youtu.be/XcpGYV0JfJ8 Here is an edited transcript of our conversation, offering practical wisdom for partners who are committed to loving their spouse toward healing. Meet Mary DeMuth: A Survivor's Perspective Caleb: Mary, thank you so much for joining us. Your willingness to speak on difficult topics like this is a lifeline for so many. Before we dive in, for listeners who may not be familiar with your story, could you share a little bit about why this topic is so close to your heart? Mary: Yeah. So as you mentioned, I am a survivor of sexual assault in, uh, several different kinds of forms, primarily one year as a kindergartner, uh, for multiple times. And so there's just a lot of sexual brokenness there. Knowing the statistics and knowing how many people, whether men or women who have been sexually assaulted... it deeply impacts your intimate relationships. And... no one ever talked to us about it, and it was not an easy climb out of that hole. So I just am here to offer some hope because there were many years where I felt hopeless about it. The "Hottie For Your Honey Seminar": Why Culture Gets Sex Wrong for Survivors Caleb: In one of your articles, Mary, you described being at a woman's conference where the speaker was exhorting women to be a "hottie for your honey". And... your description of feeling so uncomfortable and out of place... you also use the phrase of feeling like a "skinny girl at a sumo wrestling seminar," that kind of really powerful image of feeling alienated. Can you talk about that gap between the common cultural or church narrative about marital sex and the actual reality for survivors of childhood sexual abuse? Mary: I remember sitting in that room... and I was so mad. I knew the statistics and I knew that between anywhere from 40 to 75% of those women had been sexually assaulted in some way. And for them to be forced or pressured... to act a certain way, was hard enough for someone with no injury, but... almost impossible for someone with sexual injury. There's two problems. One problem is, as a survivor of sexual abuse, some of the things they were telling us to do were impossible for me, at least at that time. The second part was that in a lot of these spaces... they'll be like, "Don't have sex before marriage". Okay, great. The moment you're married, then suddenly... you have to just be a hundred percent okay with everything when you've been told that it's bad and awful and terrible up until that point. So if you take those two things together, if you're a sexual abuse victim and you've been raised in that kind of evangelical complex... it makes for a very disappointing and freaked out... wedding night. Caleb: Yeah. And then day of marriage, you're supposed to flip a switch... I can't even imagine layering on top of that when you're a survivor of sexual violence and your body is just like, "What? This is safe now?" It's very confusing. Beyond the Bedroom: When Even a Hug Feels Unsafe Caleb: And so while it... makes sense that the sexual intimacy is a huge challenge, you've also written about how trauma affects... everyday non-sexual affection too.
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    47 分
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