『No need for Prince Charming』のカバーアート

No need for Prince Charming

No need for Prince Charming

著者： Alisha Burns
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【Amazonプライム会員限定】今ならプレミアムプランが4か月 月額99円。

10月19日まで。※適用条件あり
The podcast for all Australian women considering, creating or conquering life as a solo mum by choice (SMBC)Copyright 2024 All rights reserved.
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  • S5:E30 - Claire & August

    S5:E30 - Claire & August
    2026/09/21
    The Plan Always Had a Next Step Claire always knew she'd be a mum. She told her mum at 18 that if she didn't find someone, she'd do it on her own. Her mum said she wouldn't need to. Claire filed that away and thought: well, if I do, I'm fine with it. At 30 she decided she was financially ready, had ticked off enough of her travel list, and started. She didn't make a big announcement. When she eventually told people, nobody was surprised. What followed was not the quick journey she'd hoped for. A pre-existing endometriosis diagnosis from 19 sent her straight to IVF with her doctor at Monash IVF Bondi Junction — no IUI, no mucking around. But what nobody had picked up was that Claire had a thin endometrial lining — a four or five, when the transfer window needs a seven to ten. Medicated cycles were cancelled last minute. PRP (platelet-rich plasma) treatment was tried repeatedly. There was no clear reason why. The Mirena she'd had in was the best guess. The first IVF cycle itself went beautifully — 12 eggs, 12 fertilised, five AA-grade embryos. And then none of them worked. She went through all five. Two of the transfers resulted in early losses at five weeks. She didn't know yet that she'd got COVID during her injections cycle. She still wonders. Second cycle. New protocol. PGTA testing this time. Four embryos. And then — right as she was preparing for her next transfer — she was caught in the NSW donor audit. Her overseas donor had been over-allocated to NSW beyond the state's family limit. The clinic emailed: we don't know if you'll be able to use this donor anymore. Possibly ever. She had just had a miscarriage. She had no next step for the first time in the entire journey. It was, she says, almost as hard as the losses. A solo mum she'd never met found everyone affected, organised them, told them who to email and what to say, and kept going until the clinic made an exemption. Claire had two vials of sperm left and was permitted to continue. On the 22nd of October, she transferred. Augie arrived nine months later. He is nine weeks old, already looks entirely like his donor, and has Claire's blood type — and that, apparently, is it. At 36 weeks Claire moved from Sydney to Orange to live with her parents for the year — her mum is a midwife, lactation consultant, and child and family health nurse, which turned out to matter enormously in the first weeks of breastfeeding. She'll move into her own place in January, set up a home daycare, and take Augie to Bali in between. She's the first to say she's more capable than she thought she'd be. In this episode: Always knowing she'd be a mum — telling her mother at 18 that she'd do it alone if she had to Deciding at 30: financially ready, travel list ticked, let's go Endometriosis diagnosed at 19 — going straight to IVF, no IUI Discovering a thin endometrial lining — cancelled cycles, PRP treatment, no clear cause 12 eggs, 12 fertilised, five AA-grade embryos — and all five failing to implant or take Two early losses at five weeks — processing grief by going within, and the friends who knew when to leave Getting COVID during her injections cycle — and wondering if that changed something The donor audit: what it was, the email she received mid-miscarriage, and the solo mum who got the exemptions overturned Second round with new protocol and PGTA testing — four embryos, including a fresh transfer A positive on the first transfer of the second round — October 22nd — and still not quite believing it throughout the whole pregnancy Bleeds until 14 weeks and demanding scans every time, just to check Finishing work at 36 weeks and moving from Sydney to Orange at 37 weeks pregnant Living with her parents — what's worked, what's been harder than expected Her mum the midwife/lactation consultant being the best possible person to have there for breastfeeding Going to the first-time mums group in Orange and being the only solo mum — and the moment they asked about traits from the father One solo mum found in Bathurst — otherwise connecting with the community will mean trips back to Sydney Planning a home daycare in Orange from January Bali booked — now with mum coming too, in separate accommodation Already more capable than she thought she'd be — and what she'd tell someone about to do this alone Two embryos in the freezer, one more vial of sperm, and thinking about whether there'll be a second Key Takeaways Starting earlier doesn't guarantee it'll be quicker — but it does mean there's more time to work through what comes up A thin endometrial lining can be the hidden barrier that no one mentions until you're already in treatment — ask about lining thickness early Five AA-grade embryos all failing is not a sign of failure — it's a sign the process is complex and the next round might look different When you lose access to something you've relied on as a next step, that limbo is its own grief — name it...
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    51 分
  • S5:E31 - Fertility Counselling & Donor Conception — What Solo Mums Actually Need to Know

    S5:E31 - Fertility Counselling & Donor Conception — What Solo Mums Actually Need to Know
    2026/09/28
    Every woman going through donor conception at a fertility clinic in Australia is required to attend implications counselling. And almost every one of them turns up expecting to be assessed, judged, and told whether they're worthy enough to be a mum. Narelle Dickinson has been working in this space for 30 years. She finds that deeply sad. Narelle is a reproductive psychologist, fertility counsellor, and the director of Lotus Health and Psychology in Brisbane. She specialises in the prenatal and perinatal field, works in the surrogacy space, supports families through birth trauma and pregnancy loss, and has spent 25 years doing donor conception counselling — watching the landscape shift from almost exclusively heterosexual couples to a community that now includes far more single women choosing this path as a first option, not a last resort. In this episode she explains what implications counselling actually is, what it's actually for, and how to get the most out of it rather than treating it as a tick-box exercise. She talks about what changes when you're using a known or recruited donor rather than a clinic donor. She explains why people who are using an unregulated recruited donor without going through a clinic should consider seeing a counsellor anyway — and what a donor who refuses to sit in a counselling room should tell you. She talks about the unexpected emotional waves that can come after a positive test, after the baby arrives, and years later when your child starts asking harder questions. And she closes with something worth carrying: the goal of donor conception counselling isn't getting you pregnant. It's helping you build a family. Those are very different things. Narelle and her team offer telehealth across Australia. If you're looking for an implications counsellor, make sure you're using an ANZICA-accredited practitioner — the Australia and New Zealand Infertility Counselors Association — whose reports will be accepted by any clinic. Find Narelle at: Website - lotushp.com.au. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lotushealthandpsychology/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/LotusHealthPsychology/ In this episode: Why the reproductive psychologist field has shifted — from heterosexual couples to increasingly single women choosing this as a first option What women expect implications counselling to be — and why that expectation is almost always wrong What implications counselling actually does: it's not an assessment, it's preparation for the next 20, 30, 50 years How the session is different for a solo mum than for a couple, and why it should be The importance of singing from the same songbook — how everyone around your child needs to be using the same language and the same story What to expect if you're using a clinic-recruited ID release donor — disclosure, donor siblings, future contact What changes if you're using a known donor — role, naming, extended family expectations, what the donor's parents think is happening Why going to implications counselling even if you're using a recruited donor outside a clinic is one of the most important things you can do The red flag that matters most: a donor who won't sit in front of a health professional How the unregulated space works, what family limits mean and don't mean, and why the issue isn't the rules — it's the enforcement When to reach back out for counselling: during a hard IVF cycle, after a positive test you can't quite believe, in the newborn phase, and when your child starts asking questions that don't have easy answers The "I should be grateful" trap — why women who've been through fertility treatment often feel they have no right to struggle Disclosure as your child grows: keeping the channel open, making sure they know they're allowed to ask, and understanding when the story stops being yours and starts being theirs How to find an ANZICA-accredited fertility counsellor — and whether you can use someone interstate for your clinic Key Takeaways Implications counselling is not an assessment of your worthiness as a parent — it's preparation for the decades ahead If you're using a recruited donor outside a clinic, you can still access a fertility counsellor — and you probably should The first red flag with any recruited donor: unwillingness to sit in a counselling room and answer questions in front of a professional Family limits apply to informal home insemination too — the issue is that nobody is enforcing them The urgency to get pregnant is real, but it can't override the need to make good decisions — you aren't just choosing sperm, you're choosing your child's genetic origin and medical history "You don't need a partner, but you do need a village" — and if you don't have one, now is the time to start building it The donor conversation doesn't end when your child is told — it evolves at every stage, and you can go back to a counsellor at any of those stages Make sure ...
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    59 分
  • S5:E32 - Sam & Bubba

    S5:E32 - Sam & Bubba
    2026/10/05
    She always knew Sam walked into a fertility clinic at 24 with her friend as her fake partner, because she assumed single women weren't allowed to do this alone. When the counsellor handed her a booklet with a section on solo mums, she had a quiet revelation: she didn't need to pretend anything. She went on the donor waitlist that day. Then she waited three years. Sam is an emergency department nurse in Canterbury, New Zealand, who grew up in a family with a cycle of difficult relationships and decided early that the best thing she could do for herself — and for a future child — was to do it differently. When she realised donor conception meant she could have a baby without any of that cycle attached to it, she felt, as she describes it, delighted. She was 28 when she finally got the call that a donor was available. She was 29 when she fell pregnant — on her first frozen transfer, the one she called the Easter transfer, the favourite egg that ever existed. She named him Dandy Lion while he was still in her uterus, because dandelions are resilient and they symbolise the sun, moon, and stars. She did her injection in the back of an ambulance. She showed everyone at work a weekly ultrasound. She threw herself a gender reveal party in the emergency department with blue lollies and a balloon pop. She found out she was pregnant on Mother's Day. Her son is now eight months old. Sam recently got back from Fiji — terrible weather, little shacks in the middle of nowhere, best memories she's ever made. She’s found a beautiful Canterbury solo mum community from a Facebook post. She goes to the Solo Mum Society book club at one in the morning NZ time. She's one and only, by choice, and completely at peace with it. This is one of the most joyful episodes I've recorded in five seasons. In this episode: Growing up in a family with a difficult relationship pattern — and deciding to break the cycle Walking into a fertility clinic at 24 with a fake partner because she thought single women couldn't do it alone Going on the NZ donor waitlist at 24, expecting a two-year wait — and waiting over three years Choosing a donor in New Zealand based on why he donated and openness to early contact IVF at 28-29: doing injections between ambulance shifts, finding the whole process genuinely fascinating A fresh transfer that didn't work, then the Easter frozen transfer that became Bubba Finding out she was pregnant on Mother's Day — doing a home test and planning it that way Pregnancy as an emergency department nurse: telling colleagues early for safety reasons, the whole ward adopting him as the ward baby, weekly ultrasounds for the team Pre-labour rupture of membranes at 39 weeks — going in terrified, having the most incredible birth experience Pulling Bubba onto her chest herself and cutting his cord The triple feeding plan in the first weeks — and why breastfeeding was harder than she expected Coming home to just the two of them in a thunderstorm — what the NZ system looks like (Plunket, midwife for 6 weeks, Plunketline) Finding a Canterbury solo mum community via a Facebook post — now she attends monthly meetups The SMS Facebook group, book club, and SMS Membership that filled the gap Being blindsided by how much the village disappears after discharge — the loneliness nobody warns you about Fiji at seven months — terrible weather, magic memories, and why his childhood is her motherhood Choosing to be one and only — and the beautiful logic of treasuring every moment because it only happens once What she says to him every night — and what she'd tell anyone considering this path Key Takeaways You don't have to be certain to start — in New Zealand, you can go on the donor waitlist and stay on it without committing to anything, because it can take years Shift work and IVF can work together — let your clinic know your schedule and they'll accommodate; Sam's clinic moved her to 11am appointments so she could sleep after night shifts The village may disappear after discharge — this is not just a solo mum experience, but solo mums often feel it more acutely. Build your intentional village before the baby arrives. Being one and only isn't settling — it can be a deliberate, joyful choice to give everything to the experience of one She found the Canterbury solo mum community from one Facebook post — if there's no one near you, be the one who starts it His childhood is your motherhood — the experiences you create for him are also the memories you carry The NZ process: Fertility Associates offer free consults with blood tests; Plunket provides early childhood support; Plunketline is a free helpline for new parents Donor conception in New Zealand requires a local NZ donor — there is no access to international donors This episode is brought to you by City Fertility Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for ...
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    39 分
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