Some people will resist your boundaries. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

In this replay episode, I sit down with psychotherapist and Boundary Boss author Terri Cole for a conversation that so many of you have been asking for: how to set boundaries with a narcissistic parent. Terri doesn’t sugarcoat it. She names what’s hard, calls out the behaviors you might be normalizing, and gives you language and frameworks that actually work, even when you’re dealing with someone who refuses to respect your limits.

We talk about her “three boundary offenders” framework (first-timers, repeat offenders, and destroyers), how to enforce boundaries without being rigid or resentful, and why narcissists in particular see your limits as a threat to their control. If you’ve ever had someone use guilt, emotional blackmail, or even faux-concern (“are you okay? you seem unstable…”) to manipulate you into staying small, this conversation is for you.

We also talk about the long-term impact of growing up with a narcissistic parent—including codependency, emotional triggers that don’t match the moment, and why so many adult children end up feeling deeply unknown in their closest relationships.

If you’re ready to shift the dynamic and protect your peace without losing yourself in the process, this episode is a powerful place to start. There’s nothing wrong with you, and it’s not too late to make a change.

Episode Breakdown

00:00 Introduction

02:08 What Healthy Boundaries Actually Are

05:03 Why Boundaries Fail Without Enforcement

08:24 The Three Types of Boundary Offenders

19:02 Why Narcissists React Differently to Boundaries

21:22 Common Manipulation Tactics Narcissists Use

33:15 How Narcissistic Parents Impact Adult Relationships

41:02 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Parent 47:12 Gaslighting, Triangulation, and Emotional Violations

Links

Connect with Terri Cole:

terricole.com/workshop

terricole.com/fatherwound

https://boundarybossbook.com/

https://www.instagram.com/terricole/

Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Fawning isn’t a flaw to fix. It is a brilliant survival response that can quietly shape your entire identity until you finally have the words for it.

In this episode, I sit down with clinical psychologist and author Ingrid Clayton for a conversation that I know will resonate deeply with so many of you. We talk about fawning, what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s so often misunderstood. If you’ve ever felt like you disappeared in a relationship or lost touch with your own needs just to keep someone else happy, you’re not alone. And chances are, your nervous system was doing exactly what it needed to do to keep you safe.

Ingrid shares her own story as a survivor of complex trauma, and how that experience shaped the work she does now. We explore the difference between trauma that’s tied to a single event and the kind that builds over time in ways that can be hard to name. We talk about what healing actually looks like, how to start reconnecting with yourself, how to recognize the patterns that no longer serve you, and how to hold space for the grief that sometimes comes with change.

This isn’t a conversation filled with quick fixes or five-step plans. It’s honest and validating. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep doing this?” or “What’s wrong with me?” I hope this episode helps you see that nothing about you is broken. There’s a reason for the patterns. And there’s also a way through.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Introduction

02:08 How Personal Experience with Trauma Shaped Dr. Ingrid Clayton’s Work

03:17 What Complex Trauma Really Looks Like

10:20 Fawning as a Smart and Adaptive Trauma Response

14:03 Why Codependency and People-Pleasing Miss the Point

20:20 Real-Life Examples of Fawning in Adulthood

27:20 Why Trauma-Informed Therapy Matters

30:10 Rebuilding a Relationship with Yourself

36:09 How Healing Can Change Your Closest Relationships

40:41 Dr. Clayton’s Message to Anyone Who Feels Broken

Links

Book: Believing Me https://amzn.to/4lkulGy

Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/

Preorder ‘Fawning’ here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/779579/fawning-by-dr-ingrid-clayton/

https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Most people don’t realize how much of their relationship pain comes from patterns they never chose and beliefs they never questioned, and I’ve seen it over and over again.

In this episode, I’m joined by someone I’ve admired for a long time, relationship expert and author Jillian Turecki. Her new book, “It Begins With You: The Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life,” is the kind of work that doesn’t just offer advice. It asks you to look inward. We talk about the ways we lose ourselves in relationships, the lies we tell ourselves to keep people close, and what it really means to grow after heartbreak. What does healthy love even look like? How do we know when we’re giving too much? Why do so many of us feel like we have to convince someone to stay?

Jillian shares so much of her insight and experience in this conversation: why deal breakers matter, how our family stories shape our love lives, and what it actually means to make peace with the past. One of the most powerful takeaways for me was her perspective on forgiveness, and how letting go doesn’t always mean condoning someone’s behavior. Sometimes it just means refusing to carry the story anymore.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, questioned your worth in a relationship, or wondered why you keep ending up in the same kind of dynamic, this one’s for you. I hope it leaves you feeling seen… and more importantly, ready to take your power back.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Jillian Turecki and Her Work

03:14 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Relationships

06:00 Defining Healthy Love

08:49 Understanding Deal Breakers in Relationships

11:57 The Complexity of Relationship Dynamics

15:08 The Myth of Fairy Tale Love

18:01 The Challenge of Convincing Someone to Love You

20:59 Processing Breakups and Moving Forward

24:00 Making Peace with Your Parents

36:49 Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom

Links

Connect with Jillian Turecki:

https://www.jillianturecki.com/book

https://www.instagram.com/jillianturecki/?hl=en

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm