If you knew Kei before she became a mom, she regrets to inform you: you don't know her anymore.

Motherhood changes more than your schedule. It can change your identity, personality, friendships, patience, priorities and social life — sometimes for the better and sometimes…not so much.

In this episode, Kei gets into the woman she's become after motherhood.

She's more empathetic and compassionate than she used to be.

She's also far less interested in conversations, drama and repeated problems that waste the little time and mental capacity she has left.

Motherhood has made her softer in some places and harder in others.

And then there's the spontaneity.

Going to happy hour used to require a text.

Now it requires childcare, scheduling, planning and possibly three weeks' notice.

Kei talks about missing the ease of being able to simply get up and go — while also recognizing that the relationships and friendships she still values require effort in this season.

Letter From the Village

This week's listener has a confession:

She usually doesn't want to go out.

She's tired. Her social battery is different. By the weekend, getting dressed, finding childcare and making conversation can feel like too much.

But when her friends stop inviting her?

She's hurt.

She doesn't want motherhood to turn her into the friend who only hears about the fun afterward.

So how do you tell your friends:

I might say no — but please keep inviting me?

Kei gets into communicating what this season looks like, making your own plans when possible, and continuing to invest in the friendships that remind you you're still a woman outside of everything you're responsible for.

Motherhood changed Kei.

Less available.

More selective.

Softer.

Harder.

More intentional.

And she wouldn't change the woman she's becoming.

Letter From the Village: motherhoodisamf@gmail.com

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