He gave her everything: a home, a car and a business of her own. Then he lost his job, and for two years she treated him like a stranger. The day after he got hired again, she handed him money for a new suit.

Welcome to Nobody Told Me Love Isn't Enough. I'm Anita Daniels, marriage counsellor, author, and founder of She Really Heals. In this episode, I'm asking the question so many couples never say out loud: Is providing the same thing as loving?

We talk about the men, Afro-Caribbean men especially, raised with one job description for what a husband is, provided, and never taught the rest. We talk about the women raised to measure a man entirely by his pay cheque, and what happens to a marriage when that pay cheque disappears, even briefly, even through no fault of his own. I'll tell you about the man who lost everything for two years and was only welcomed back once he was useful again, and about the husband whose wife wanted equal partnership from a friend's marriage while quietly keeping her own money her own, and his money theirs.

Whoever you are, providing, provided for, or somewhere figuring out what fair actually looks like in your own home, this one's for you.

Send me a voice note or message, WhatsApp 07513 443176, or email info@shereallyheals.com, I read them all, and some of you might hear yours back on a future episode.

My book, Love Isn't Enough, is on Amazon now, audiobook on Spotify. And our free app, Ready and Staying, walks you and your partner through these exact conversations at your own pace. Everything's at shereallyheals.com.

When two become one, the vow should actually mean that.