The morning after your mother dies, your to-do list is empty. You stand in the kitchen disoriented, untethered—for two years there was no space for this question, only the relentless architecture of care. Now there is nothing. Now you have to remember who you are.

Monique Frahm is a registered nurse and care coach who became a full-time caregiver at 22, first for her father, then sole caregiver for her mother with ALS for two years. She brings both clinical knowledge and the raw, unfiltered clarity of someone who lived it. In this conversation on Both Sides of the Bed, she names what caregivers rarely hear named: the anticipatory grief that arrives before death, the loneliness of being needed but unseen, the impossible standards you set for yourself, and the way caregiving erases the caregiver. You'll gain practical wisdom—how to ask for help, how to understand the difference between your role and your identity—but more than that, you'll gain recognition.

Lana Wilhelm, RN BSN MHA and host of Both Sides of the Bed, speaks from five years into her own journey as a stroke caregiver. She knows the territory Monique describes—the moment a doctor finally names what you're feeling as grief, the way people ask about the sick person and never about you. What they build together here is testimony: caregiving is not a personal failure. It is a human situation that breaks everyone the same way.

About the Guest: Monique Frahm is a registered nurse, care coach, and author dedicated to supporting family caregivers through the clinical, emotional, and practical dimensions of care.

Both Sides of the Bed is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for guidance specific to your situation. Visit carepowerconnect.com for resources and support.