Welcome to 4th Down and Under! While some teams can't afford to feed their millionaire players breakfast, we're serving up a full five-course analysis of the NFLPA Report Cards that has us wondering if Cardinals players might get better facilities working out at our home gyms. From weight room F-minuses to first-class coach controversies, we're exposing which billionaire owners are too cheap to fix their plumbing and which ones are rolling out the red carpet with daycare services and personal chefs.

This week's deep dive into NFL's facilities drama reveals:

- The Miami Dolphins emerging as the gold standard with straight A's across all categories, from weight rooms to food service, making them the ultimate free agent destination despite their on-field performance

- The shocking disparity between teams, with the Cardinals and Browns receiving multiple F-minus ratings for facilities that would make your local Planet Fitness look luxurious

- Team travel controversies where coaches get first-class seats while players are crammed in economy, leading to the Bills' F-minus rating and widespread player dissatisfaction

- The Cincinnati Bengals' puzzling priorities, earning an F-minus for family treatment and an F for food while somehow managing an A-plus for their locker room

- The surprising correlation between facility quality and on-field success, with perennial losers typically providing the worst player amenities (with notable exceptions like the Bengals)

Plus, we analyze which head coaches players actually respect (Andy Reid, Dan Campbell) versus which ones they merely tolerate, and why some NFL teams apparently can't afford to feed their players three meals a day despite being billion-dollar organizations.