Dr. David Tolin is the Founder & Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living, the author of over 200 scientific journal articles & even received the Award for Lifetime Contribution to Psychology from the CT Psychological Association, but you may recognize him from the reality TV series Hoarders, The OCD Project or My Shopping Addiction. In this episode he shares what diagnosing hoarding disorder looks like, what brain scans reveal & the myth of trauma.

This episode originally aired November 27, 2023.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 208: TRIGGER WARNINGS: MAKING US FRAGILE OR HELPING US HEAL?

Guest:

https://drtolin.com/home

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidtolin/

https://a.co/d/hDRDee8

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

02:38 — How common hoarding really is

04:05 — When clutter ≠ hoarding disorder

05:00 — Why letting go feels painful

06:02 — What actually causes hoarding

08:00 — Attention, cognition, vulnerability

10:00 — Why empathy changes everything

11:05 — ADHD, brain scans, and myths

14:10 — The “salience network” explained

15:05 — Why clutter fades into the background

16:00 — When every object feels urgent

17:05 — Decision-making becomes unbearable

18:10 — Avoidance as survival strategy

20:00 — Why animal hoarding is different

23:00 — What people actually hoard

24:00 — When hoarding becomes extreme

25:10 — Digital hoarding counts too

26:05 — Emails, photos, and emotional pain

27:00 — Objects as identity

30:15 — The downward arrow technique

31:20 — Why therapists and patients talk past each other

32:15 — Anthropomorphizing our stuff

33:20 — Why kids’ toys still haunt us

34:15 — Grief as an accelerant

35:20 — Stuff as memory protection

36:10 — Acquiring as mood regulation

37:10 — When retail therapy backfires

38:15 — Emotion regulation gone wrong

39:10 — Compassion without enabling

40:05 — Boundaries that don’t abandon

41:10 — Why insight takes repetition

42:15 — Therapy isn’t one magic moment

43:10 — How to stay anchored in reality

44:05 — Questions that interrupt impulse

45:10 — Why self-questioning works better

46:15 — What “success” actually looks like

47:15 — Managing vs curing hoarding

48:10 — Exposure therapy in real life

49:10 — TJ Maxx as a trigger

50:05 — Sitting with discomfort on purpose

51:10 — Rewriting your relationship with stuff

52:05 — How hoarding changed his own habits

53:10 — Keeping what truly serves you

54:05 — Buried in Treasures and next steps

55:10 — Final reflections on stuff and self

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

JonRobert Tartaglione, PhD, studies & teaches influence. He is a psychologist, behavioral scientist & the founder & CEO of a consulting practice called influence 51.

In this episode, we unpack persuasion, perception & arguing on the internet and explore what it really takes to change someone’s mind.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 309: HOW DID THE MEDIA BECOME SUCH A BIASED, STRESS-INDUCING CIRCUS?

Guest:

https://www.facebook.com/jonrobert.tartaglione

https://www.instagram.com/probablytat/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonrobert-tartaglione-ph-d-21b26770/

https://x.com/PolPsyTat

https://influence51.com/

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — The question no one asks

01:42 — Why this story matters now

03:18 — Meeting JonRobert

05:06 — What most people misunderstand

07:02 — The moment everything shifted

09:21 — How power actually works

11:08 — Systems hiding in plain sight

13:47 — When incentives shape behavior

16:05 — Following the money

18:12 — What surprised him most

20:44 — The quiet pressure points

23:01 — Where people lose agency

25:26 — The illusion of choice

27:58 — Why good people comply

30:14 — This wasn’t accidental

32:41 — How narratives get enforced

35:09 — Who benefits from silence

37:42 — The cost of speaking up

40:06 — When resistance becomes personal

42:33 — The moment of reckoning

45:02 — Why fear is effective

47:29 — The psychology underneath

50:11 — How normalization happens

52:46 — What history keeps repeating

55:21 — The warning signs we ignore

58:04 — This pattern feels familiar

01:00:33 — When people finally notice

01:03:07 — Why it feels overwhelming

01:05:52 — Reclaiming critical thinking

01:08:36 — What accountability would look like

01:11:14 — The role of individual courage

01:14:02 — Why hope isn’t naive

01:16:41 — What comes next

01:19:08 — The question listeners should sit with

01:21:30 — Final reflections

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

How do you stay connected with friends when everything revolves around drinking?

Casey McGuire Davidson was an ambitious corporate achiever who always had a full schedule & anxious energy. She felt wine was the glue holding her life together until she realized it wasn’t. She later found serenity in sobriety, but it wasn’t without some social hiccups. In this episode, she uses her expertise as a certified life & sobriety coach to show us how to keep our friends in the tender time of early sobriety, navigate social hiccups at alcohol-centered events & the BEST way to tell friends you’re not drinking.

This episode originally aired July 31, 2022

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 265: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC? [REMASTERED]

Guest:

https://www.instagram.com/caseymdavidson/

https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseydavidson/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hello-someday-podcast-for-sober-curious-women/id1508913688

https://www.facebook.com/HelloSomeday/

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — Why sobriety feels risky

02:00 — The social drinking trap

03:00 — Chasing “normal drinking”

06:00 — Boring, pregnant…or sober?

07:00 — Losing yourself in motherhood

08:00 — When anxiety becomes the clue

11:00 — Why a 100-day challenge works

12:00 — Your brain in withdrawal

16:00 — How to “announce” it

21:00 — When your boss notices

22:00 — Choosing six more months

26:00 — The awkward party moment

27:00 — Three reaction types

28:00 — Why people pressure you

29:00 — The vegetarian analogy

30:00 — Sharing only what you want

34:00 — Telling people in advance

39:00 — Saying no without drama

40:00 — Creating new rituals

43:00 — When friends feel different

44:00 — Handling repetitive drunk talk

45:00 — Leaving before the sloppiness

46:00 — Partner support strategies

48:00 — The social-media minefield

50:00 — Do sober apologies matter?

51:00 — Repair without guilt

53:00 — How to support sober friends

54:00 — The right first response

55:00 — Hosting without assumptions

56:00 — Better beverage options

60:00 — Where to find Casey

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Are healthy boundaries lines in the sand? Going no contact?

KC Davis is licensed professional counselor, host of the podcast Struggle Care & author of Who Deserves your love: how to create boundaries to start, strengthen or end any relationship.

In this episode, she unpacks the girl bossification of boundaries, the decision flowchart of no contact, how values make “hard calls” easier & how the internet sells quipping one-liners & emphasizes hard lines over nuance.

Guest:

https://www.strugglecare.com/

https://www.instagram.com/strugglecare/

https://www.facebook.com/StruggleCare/

https://a.co/d/1b1H1tT

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — Shower fights & imaginary comebacks

01:50 — Boundaries aren’t quippy one-liners

03:58 — When the boundary advice trap backfires

04:22 — The real definition of an internal boundary

05:05 — How to prep for real-life conflict (not Instagram conflict)

05:42 — Thanksgiving, awkward uncles & psychic responsibility

10:20 — Awareness as Boundary Step One

10:55 — MythBuster: Is there always a winner and a loser?

13:07 — The vulnerability cycle explained

14:10 — When your “issues” aren’t actually your issues

16:22 — How two people accidentally activate each other

18:17 — Boundary Disaster #1: The evangelizing step-dad

20:02 — “Reasonable requests don’t make unreasonable people comply”

21:11 — Deciding what’s livable — not magical

24:14 — Why reframing the offender sometimes helps

25:26 — The stories we tell about other people’s behavior

28:05 — Compassion vs. justifying harm

32:00 — Boundary Disaster #2: The secret sex-offender friend

33:10 — KC’s decision tree for impossible situations

36:08 — Why values make “hard calls” easier

37:02 — MythBuster: Does cheating predict cheating?

40:02 — MythBuster: Must you heal before you date?

43:03 — Boundary Disaster #3: Grandma, screen time & parental authority

44:00 — “How do I get her to respect my decisions?”

47:55 — Middle-ground boundaries for real parents

48:35 — Final thoughts: Boundaries as self-ownership

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

How is AI influencing our decisions? Is opting IN to every AI offer causing us to opt OUT of our free will?

Jake Ward is a former NBC News correspondent & is currently the founding editor & host of The Rip Current newsletter & podcast, which looks at the hidden forces of modern life, like Big Tech, business, and politics. He’s also the author of The Loop: How AI is creating a world without choices & how to fight back.

In this episode, you’ll hear how the brain ACTUALLY makes decisions & how corporations leverage that without you knowing, how Corporate exceptionalism + American exceptionalism = tragedy & the case for inefficiency.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 205: NEUROTECH: SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENT OR MIND CONTROL?

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:48 — The hidden cost of “opting in”

01:32 — Is AI manipulating us?

05:02 — AI’s arrival vs. America’s readiness

06:05 — The brain that isn’t built for this

08:05 — Rock ’em Sock ’em brains

09:12 — Why our instincts make us hackable

15:20 — When companies exploit the “monkey brain”

16:10 — Social casino games and human cynicism

17:14 — The rise of AI psychosis

18:02 — Why young developers can’t see the danger

19:00 — The “scale will solve it” delusion

20:16 — Croissants, bolts, and AI ethics

21:25 — What regulation really looks like

22:30 — Politicians in your chat companion

23:40 — The edge-case problem that becomes everyone’s problem

24:50 — Don’t fear robot overlords — fear amplified instincts

26:02 — Why our brains love flattery bots

27:14 — When chatbots become the worst therapist

28:20 — Isolation vs. connection in recovery

32:55 — Can market signals actually work?

34:00 — The case for the “less convenient” AI

35:10 — Why bad AI is sometimes better for you

42:15 — What parents need to decide early

43:20 — Building community norms before tech does

44:28 — Permission to have more fun without phones

50:20 — Locating yourself in the narrative

51:30 — The allergy model of human behavior

52:48 — How shame keeps us from seeing ourselves

56:40 — Preserving human friction

58:20 — The case for inefficiency

59:50 — Music, jokes, and the death of practice

01:01:10 — The nightmare world of the AI life-coach

01:03:30 — Jake’s practical rules for tech sanity

01:04:48 — Why satisfaction beats happiness

01:08:00 — Jake’s links, book & gratitude

01:09:00 — Meredith’s closing notes & next episode

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Is this the answer to burnout? How are mini-retirements even possible?

Kira Schabram, PhD, is the Assistant Professor in management & organization at Pennsylvania State University & historian of work who has been studying the details & impacts of a phenomenon called micro-retirement – people treating breaks from work of three or more months.

In this episode, you’ll hear how others are doing this idea, why it’s worth talking about & how it could be the solution to widespread burnout among American workers. We compare American attitudes on work compared to our European counterparts, what makes a micro-retirement “successful” & why what we call it matters.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 190: DOES A CAREER CHANGE MEAN YOU’RE A FAILURE?

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — Why “micro-retirement” even matters

00:27 — The work-first culture problem

01:41 — “Cute but inaccessible?”

02:10 — Who actually takes micro-retirements

02:46 — The two paths into a micro-retirement

04:33 — Life milestones as wake-up calls

04:59 — Why reflection only happens off the treadmill

05:27 — Is micro-retirement just rebranding unemployment?

05:56 — Why the word matters more than you think

06:30 — The need for a new term

07:53 — Why nonprofit leaders burn out fastest

10:39 — Training future leaders by stepping away

11:12 — Sabbatical-as-benefit on a shoestring budget

11:40 — Why employers resist the idea

12:07 — The costs of quiet quitting

12:34 — Why micro-retirements can increase productivity

13:02 — Sabbatical vs micro-retirement: the naming problem

13:35 — Why “3 months minimum” actually matters

14:29 — Why Americans don’t recognize their own burnout

16:18 — The France comparison that changes everything

16:46 — “Where do you vacation?” as identity

17:18 — Pandemic shifts in work culture

18:22 — Could the US ever adopt the August model?

19:57 — What Europe gets right—and wrong—about work

21:20 — Has work become meaning or misery?

21:55 — The generational gap in purpose

24:48 — What happens if cynicism wins

25:54 — A German lens on work meaning

28:12 — FIRE vs micro-retirement mindsets

29:05 — The “aunt at Thanksgiving” argument

30:01 — The burnout-pushed retirement pattern

30:29 — The “do nothing” phase no one expects

30:58 — When nothingness reveals burnout severity

32:02 — Skill-building in the wild

33:40 — The danger of over-planning time off

34:40 — Handling the “yeah but my bills” barrier

35:06 — Micro-retirements aren’t résumé gaps

38:01 — What would happen if 60% of employers offered this?

40:19 — Could mini-retirements reshape whole industries?

41:00 — The hidden cost of burnout recovery

42:46 — Closing reflections on culture, work & wellbeing

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Why is dating so hard in midlife? Are we all sending mixed signals?

Abe Morgentaler, MD & Marianne Brandon, PhD are the hosts of the Sex Doctors Podcast, where they deep dive into the science & psychology of sexual health & relationships.

Dr. Morgentaler is a Harvard trained MD who opened the first comprehensive men’s health center in the US, is the leading authority in testosterone therapy, author of four books & currently the Blavatnik Faculty Fellow in Health & Longevity at Harvard Medical School.

Dr. Brandon is a clinical psychologist, author & futurist whose professional writing includes aging & sex, the challenges of monogamy & female low libido.

In this episode, you’ll hear both personal & professional perspectives about the dating pool & approaches including app culture, dick pics, gender equality, hormones, “the ick” & desire-killing control.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 180: IS YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

Guests:

Theirs

https://www.facebook.com/thesexdoctors

https://www.youtube.com/@thesexdoctorspod

https://www.instagram.com/thesexdoctors/

Hers

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-future-intimacy

https://a.co/d/8smce3C

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariannebrandon-59224513/

https://x.com/DrBrandon

His

https://www.linkedin.com/in/abraham-morgentaler-md-81628b6/

https://x.com/DrMorgentaler

https://t4leducation.com/

https://a.co/d/hZHpFn0

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — Midlife dating déjà vu

01:00 — Where have the good ones gone?

02:03 — Top complaints while dating

03:10 — Picky or self-aware?

04:02 — Tiny towns vs. big cities

05:00 — Strangers, apps, and mistrust

05:58 — Why men send dick pics

07:00 — Filtering for “fast yes”

08:05 — Who’s actually relationship-minded?

08:45 — Is app culture the problem?

09:20 — Entertainment vs. reciprocity

09:58 — Should serious daters ditch apps?

10:40 — The slot-machine effect

11:35 — Standards vs. pickiness

12:15 — Are we avoiding compromise?

13:20 — The myth of perfection

14:05 — How good men spend time

15:00 — Apps aren’t on your side

16:12 — Ancient brains, modern tools

17:00 — Digital dating = amplified disappointment

18:00 — Get out of the house

19:00 — Pick the r

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

What’s it like living underground? How did he get out?

Paul Vautrinot shares his story of living in the Las Vegas tunnels, or as he states it, beneath the neon. He shares what life in the Vegas underground city was like with the tunnel people, how he left, got sober & became a co-founder of Shine a Light Foundation. He shares the organization’s unique approach to ending homelessness & how they are by-passing wait lists.

This episode originally aired June 6, 2022

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 248: SURVIVING THE TROUBLED TEEN INDUSTRY: SEPARATING IDENTITY FROM EXPERIENCE [REMASTERED]

Guest:

https://www.shinealightlv.com/

https://www.facebook.com/shinealightLV

https://www.instagram.com/shine_a_lightlv/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beneath-the-neon-podcast/id1532967337

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — The hidden city beneath Vegas

02:00 — A “happy” childhood behind chaos

03:20 — Getting invited underground

06:00 — First night in the tunnels

07:00 — Nicknames and neighborhoods below ground

08:00 — The drug dealer’s driver and the underground map

09:00 — Biking blind in total darkness

10:00 — Hierarchies of the homeless tunnels

12:00 — The girlfriend, the cricket, and the cops

18:00 — Jail, withdrawal, and a strange stroke of luck

20:00 — From drug court to sobriety

21:00 — Meeting Matt O’Brien and the flood-drain exposé

23:00 — The birth of Shine A Light

25:00 — Building a no-waitlist system for help

27:00 — Trust, recovery, and the Vegas community

29:00 — What would actually end homelessness?

30:00 — Creating stability in the smallest windows of hope

31:00 — What’s next for Shine A Light

32:00 — 104 people out of the tunnels

33:00 — How to help and get involved

34:00 — A new kind of light under Vegas

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/