Dr. David Tolin is the Founder & Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living, the author of over 200 scientific journal articles & even received the Award for Lifetime Contribution to Psychology from the CT Psychological Association, but you may recognize him from the reality TV series Hoarders, The OCD Project or My Shopping Addiction. In this episode he shares what diagnosing hoarding disorder looks like, what brain scans reveal & the myth of trauma.

This episode originally aired November 27, 2023.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 208: TRIGGER WARNINGS: MAKING US FRAGILE OR HELPING US HEAL?

Guest:

https://drtolin.com/home

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidtolin/

https://a.co/d/hDRDee8

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

02:38 — How common hoarding really is

04:05 — When clutter ≠ hoarding disorder

05:00 — Why letting go feels painful

06:02 — What actually causes hoarding

08:00 — Attention, cognition, vulnerability

10:00 — Why empathy changes everything

11:05 — ADHD, brain scans, and myths

14:10 — The “salience network” explained

15:05 — Why clutter fades into the background

16:00 — When every object feels urgent

17:05 — Decision-making becomes unbearable

18:10 — Avoidance as survival strategy

20:00 — Why animal hoarding is different

23:00 — What people actually hoard

24:00 — When hoarding becomes extreme

25:10 — Digital hoarding counts too

26:05 — Emails, photos, and emotional pain

27:00 — Objects as identity

30:15 — The downward arrow technique

31:20 — Why therapists and patients talk past each other

32:15 — Anthropomorphizing our stuff

33:20 — Why kids’ toys still haunt us

34:15 — Grief as an accelerant

35:20 — Stuff as memory protection

36:10 — Acquiring as mood regulation

37:10 — When retail therapy backfires

38:15 — Emotion regulation gone wrong

39:10 — Compassion without enabling

40:05 — Boundaries that don’t abandon

41:10 — Why insight takes repetition

42:15 — Therapy isn’t one magic moment

43:10 — How to stay anchored in reality

44:05 — Questions that interrupt impulse

45:10 — Why self-questioning works better

46:15 — What “success” actually looks like

47:15 — Managing vs curing hoarding

48:10 — Exposure therapy in real life

49:10 — TJ Maxx as a trigger

50:05 — Sitting with discomfort on purpose

51:10 — Rewriting your relationship with stuff

52:05 — How hoarding changed his own habits

53:10 — Keeping what truly serves you

54:05 — Buried in Treasures and next steps

55:10 — Final reflections on stuff and self

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

JonRobert Tartaglione, PhD, studies & teaches influence. He is a psychologist, behavioral scientist & the founder & CEO of a consulting practice called influence 51.

In this episode, we unpack persuasion, perception & arguing on the internet and explore what it really takes to change someone’s mind.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 309: HOW DID THE MEDIA BECOME SUCH A BIASED, STRESS-INDUCING CIRCUS?

Guest:

https://www.facebook.com/jonrobert.tartaglione

https://www.instagram.com/probablytat/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonrobert-tartaglione-ph-d-21b26770/

https://x.com/PolPsyTat

https://influence51.com/

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — The question no one asks

01:42 — Why this story matters now

03:18 — Meeting JonRobert

05:06 — What most people misunderstand

07:02 — The moment everything shifted

09:21 — How power actually works

11:08 — Systems hiding in plain sight

13:47 — When incentives shape behavior

16:05 — Following the money

18:12 — What surprised him most

20:44 — The quiet pressure points

23:01 — Where people lose agency

25:26 — The illusion of choice

27:58 — Why good people comply

30:14 — This wasn’t accidental

32:41 — How narratives get enforced

35:09 — Who benefits from silence

37:42 — The cost of speaking up

40:06 — When resistance becomes personal

42:33 — The moment of reckoning

45:02 — Why fear is effective

47:29 — The psychology underneath

50:11 — How normalization happens

52:46 — What history keeps repeating

55:21 — The warning signs we ignore

58:04 — This pattern feels familiar

01:00:33 — When people finally notice

01:03:07 — Why it feels overwhelming

01:05:52 — Reclaiming critical thinking

01:08:36 — What accountability would look like

01:11:14 — The role of individual courage

01:14:02 — Why hope isn’t naive

01:16:41 — What comes next

01:19:08 — The question listeners should sit with

01:21:30 — Final reflections

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

How do you stay connected with friends when everything revolves around drinking?

Casey McGuire Davidson was an ambitious corporate achiever who always had a full schedule & anxious energy. She felt wine was the glue holding her life together until she realized it wasn’t. She later found serenity in sobriety, but it wasn’t without some social hiccups. In this episode, she uses her expertise as a certified life & sobriety coach to show us how to keep our friends in the tender time of early sobriety, navigate social hiccups at alcohol-centered events & the BEST way to tell friends you’re not drinking.

This episode originally aired July 31, 2022

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 265: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC? [REMASTERED]

Guest:

https://www.instagram.com/caseymdavidson/

https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseydavidson/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hello-someday-podcast-for-sober-curious-women/id1508913688

https://www.facebook.com/HelloSomeday/

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — Why sobriety feels risky

02:00 — The social drinking trap

03:00 — Chasing “normal drinking”

06:00 — Boring, pregnant…or sober?

07:00 — Losing yourself in motherhood

08:00 — When anxiety becomes the clue

11:00 — Why a 100-day challenge works

12:00 — Your brain in withdrawal

16:00 — How to “announce” it

21:00 — When your boss notices

22:00 — Choosing six more months

26:00 — The awkward party moment

27:00 — Three reaction types

28:00 — Why people pressure you

29:00 — The vegetarian analogy

30:00 — Sharing only what you want

34:00 — Telling people in advance

39:00 — Saying no without drama

40:00 — Creating new rituals

43:00 — When friends feel different

44:00 — Handling repetitive drunk talk

45:00 — Leaving before the sloppiness

46:00 — Partner support strategies

48:00 — The social-media minefield

50:00 — Do sober apologies matter?

51:00 — Repair without guilt

53:00 — How to support sober friends

54:00 — The right first response

55:00 — Hosting without assumptions

56:00 — Better beverage options

60:00 — Where to find Casey

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/