What if mental toughness is the wrong goal? Ultra-runner, executive coach and author Kay Bretz joins Tim and Mario to make the case for something better: mental gentleness. Kay went from sixteen years chasing marathon PBs to running 250km through the desert, then 500km across a week — and along the way traded the “excellence game” for something bigger.

He talks about turning right at the gate that changed his life, the night he signed up for his first ultra at 3am just to stop the spiral in his head, and the moment he convinced himself he'd grown “desert legs” and ran a course record because of it.

Tim and Mario dig into leadership without the buzzwords — presence, sitting with uncertainty, and the difference between being tough on yourself and being kind to yourself. If you've ever pushed through with a stick when what you needed was a gentle hand, this conversation will reframe everything.

In This Episode

• Why mental gentleness beats mental toughness — and why gentleness isn't softness

• The shift from the “excellence game” to the “mastery game,” and why chasing PBs has a ceiling

• “Who am I asked to be?” — the real question behind every big challenge

• The power of “gates” — small rituals that change your mental state

• The 3am decision, the desert legs story, and turning right at the white gate

  
  

Key Quote

“It's not how do I do it? It's who am I asked to be?” — Kay Bretz

Get In Touch

Guest — Kay Bretz

Website: turningright.com

Follow Kay on LinkedIn (most active)

Book: Turning Right: Inspiring the Magic

Mario Buchs

mario@healtheticacoaching.com

Follow @healthetica_coaching on LinkedIn, Instagram and more

Tim Buxton

tim@timothybuxton.com

Follow @timothykbuxton on Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Threads and more

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