Content note: this episode includes an honest conversation about suicide and mental health. If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call or text 988 in the U.S. You can also watch on YouTube, where the chapters show where that conversation starts.

Jay lived with my family in Arizona in 2023. He was my wife's student first, and then he was part of our daily life, playing guitar and singing with our kids on the couch. Marley was tiny back then and still remembers him. When he reached out about being on the show, I was honored.

Jay is 21 and coaches wrestling in Flagstaff, right next to the Navajo Nation. He opens with something he's seen up close: Native athletes are rarely recruited. A study he found counted only 2,364 Native athletes out of more than 550,000 in the NCAA in 2024-25. He tells me about teams that drive two and a half hours to a tournament and sleep in his gym because they can't afford a hotel, and about a wrestler who became the first from Flagstaff to sign in three to five years.

Then we go deeper. Jay came through the foster and adoption system, and he found a safe place in school, in a teacher who asked if he had somewhere to go that night, and in a wrestling team that knelt in prayer for his adoptive mom when she was in the hospital. He explains why he says he's not religious but is still a person of faith, what heaven on earth versus hell on earth means to him, and how church was once used as a punishment.

We talk about mental health honestly, including the loss of his father to suicide, the people he's lost, what helped him keep going, and why there should be no stigma around any of it. We also get into NIL, the transfer portal, accountability, and learning how to be happy with nothing.

His closing advice: your mind is your greatest tool and also your sharpest sword. People are always more capable than they believe. And there are always going to be better days.

Thank you to our sponsors, Steadfast and Good Candy. Want to be a guest? The interest form is linked on our Instagram page.

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