Second chance romance may be the closest contemporary romance gets to literary fiction. After a big reading month, I spun my book club wheel and made the case, using two recent reads, Cherry Baby by Rainbow Rowell and No Matter What by Cara Bastone, alongside two all-time favourites, Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan and Seven Days in June by Tia Williams. We talk foreshadowing, the scripts romance hands women about bodies, why older characters hit differently, and how much “happily ever after” you actually need.

• Plot-driven vs. character-driven: why second chance romance sits closer to literary fiction
• Which Taylor Swift era each book is (Evermore into Lover)
• Foreshadowing in second chance romance: what broke them, and why the reveal has to be earned
• Why characters who have lived a little (and are nearly 40) are so satisfying to read
• How Cherry Baby pushes back on romance scripts about body size, weight loss, and GLP-1s
• Rating the endings on a “will they make it?” scale
• What your romance taste teaches you about your own needs, and why reading romance can be an escape and still be smart

• The Venn diagram: plot-driven romance and character-driven literary fiction overlap more than you think, and second chance romance lives in the overlap.
• Show your receipts: a good second chance romance has to explain what drove two people apart and what is different enough now to bring them back.
• Happily ever after: probably vs. definitely. Know which one you need before you pick up the book.

• Cherry Baby, Rainbow Rowell
• No Matter What, Cara Bastone
• Before I Let Go, Kennedy Ryan
• Seven Days in June, Tia Williams
• Normal People, Sally Rooney
• Talking at Night, Claire Daverley
• Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding

Content note: Before I Let Go deals with pregnancy and child loss. The episode keeps spoilers light.

I Finished a Book, Chapter One: [link] | Chapter Two: [link]

Which of these four have you read, and which one are you picking up next? Send me a DM on Instagram @medium.lady or a text. Medium Lady Talks, Episode 187.

The leaves are down, the holidays haven't started, and I'm calling this in-between stretch stick season, borrowing the name (and a lot of feelings) from Noah Kahan. In this episode I walk through my November self-care capsule: three simple lists, practical, whimsical, and consumable, that keep me participating in my own life instead of watching it go by. This month also marks seven years since my first Medium Lady post, and I talk about why naming a season and making a loose plan for it is one of the most protective things I do against the disengagement side of burnout. Grab your notes app and make your own.

• Why MY November is stick season, and how to name the season you're in
• The three-list capsule: practical, whimsical, consumable
• Why the plan still works even if you don't finish the list
• Seven years of monthly capsules, and how they became a way of knowing who I am

• Name your season. Don’t just call it “November”; give it a theme or a vibe.
• Build three lists. Practical (what needs doing), whimsical (what brings light), consumable (what to eat, watch, read, and listen to).
• Start with the easiest list. If whimsical feels hard, begin with consumable. Don't overthink it, and don't over-commit.

• Noah Kahan: Stick Season (album), including the song Growing Sideways
• FOLD (Festival of Literary Diversity) Reading Challenge, November prompt: a book that celebrates fat bodies and fat joy. thefoldcanada.org
• Body Talk by Katie Sturino
• Cherry Baby by Rainbow Rowell
• When Harry Met Sally

• Episode 185: burnout and disengagement [link]
• Episode 187: I Finished a Book, Chapter three [link] where I discuss Cherry Baby a book about size inclusivity and fat joy
• Episode 181: the August Monthly Capsule [link]

Instagram: @medium.lady Tell me what's on your capsule, or DM me if you don't know where to start.

You can have a lot going on and not be burnt out. After six weeks away from the mic, Erin pulls apart the two ideas: why a full life isn’t the cause of burnout, what burnout actually looks like, and how slowing down helps your body feel safe enough to recover. For any woman who has been told, or has told herself, that burnout is the price of the life she chose.

• Why “once things settle down” is the myth that keeps burnout going
• The viral reel that felt like an indictment of busy lives, and why
• A long to-do list is not the same as burnout
• What burnout actually looks like: disproportionate emotion, withdrawal, feeling like an outsider in your own life, disrupted sleep, tension headaches, loss of pleasure
• Survival mode, hypervigilance, and why rest can start to feel unsafe
• Grounding practices that meet urgency with slowing down

• WHO definition (2019): burnout is an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic workplace stress that hasn’t been successfully managed, with three dimensions: exhaustion, mental distance or cynicism, and reduced professional efficacy.
• Maslach Burnout Inventory: exhaustion, depersonalization, and a reduced sense of personal accomplishment.
• Allostatic load: the cumulative burden of chronic stress. A high baseline means you need more rest to recover.
• The fawn response: from Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson (borrow it on OverDrive).
• Equilibrium isn’t a flat line: a well life expands and contracts like a sound wave. Slowing down is the intervention for survival mode.

Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski.

Above all things, no matter what you have going on, you’re doing a really good job. Come say hi on Instagram at @medium.lady.