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  • Lost Cause: More Secrets.

    Lost Cause: More Secrets.
    2026/10/04
    EXT. SKYLINE / ETHER - NIGHTA glimmer of light.Shimmering waves of silver and grey; Suddenly flushed with boredom, I mull over my own subconscious amoral Hemisphere of hemoglobin —A Closer Look.WRITER 1 (O.S.)I TOLD YOU ITS PRONOUNCED TEEEEEMOOOOOO!!!OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN, JIMMY FALLON Well fuck you, I hate you.New Character: Stripper named Mahogany RayneMAHOGANY RAYNEIT'S BRITNEY, BITCH. WRITER 1 (O.S.)Oh shit, it really is. WRITER 2 (O.S.)I Kno. {enter the multiverse} COSMOOh no. This feels good. WANDAWhat’s wrong??COSMOI thought we broke up. WANDAWe did technically broke up. COSMOOkay!Okay: WANDAI need a minute. MYSTICMy heart is heavy, My breath is shallow, This six knives which I foreshadowed nineFor still my heart, with that And oath my blood but knowledge forth, For trade and honor!Lies! Beneath your widow’s peak and salted ash, For ice became my fortune; True to mark for once,I hold you son, and then forgotten Slide my own and murky weathered praise within your virgo’s cosmic force, And this became her axe and slaughtered that, Becomes my curse, so bury that below my grave And alter what I knowe’th, for this I mark,My horse and stables to your iodine, Now become I, mine ,Become my mind and carry wayward trips, With such does melt within thy lips and eyes, As mine, my blood, and draining in your corpses, Run from tithered bond is mine, my own, And then became my last; No force of lust or love but life would draw thy blood But then my own as murder with your hands, again my axe, I have, But ask of you one poet.My love. I am betrayed again you half my wit,And thought eith lies as does betray you in my focus; Then, there, whispered ties I bond, And truth my proof with axel in my surface. Wood, and brine, with blood and wine, Did I dear suffer in dine Hollywood with eleganceFor there her feast had flooded with your waiting,And our purpose, Give now, my force, with want denied, And now, my blood, though withered and your foreign, Drift away with where depart your time from our adrift, Her eyes I had becometh. And now, I mark, our eyes and timesNot one, but all our eyes become What mind had ba’erd here truth with time Shall force her waves to change, and then her current. Sift now through these things, And then with leaning eyed did wander I, (Eye) To want and now became her luck, and force of doves, So shoot into the sky with such devout and then encumbered; But O, I am awakened in her arching back and truth with knives does split into my veins!Again I slandered by to find and thine to trust, And thrust with wander in my thighs and without judgement. Then with night did come as I, Not with but far and battered in my warrant; And oh did friends make I with also friends and kinFor there within in discouraged banter, bark embark or banter in my flurries waves of force, and so once dead And I did slumber. Amen—A Time. [the festival project ™] WRITER (O.S.)Ok that’s three times Lorne, what do you want? LORNEWell, I’m a company man. WRITER (O.S.)I don’t know what that means, suits. V.O.Unfortunately, I had a feeling though, since I’d wondered, I’d soon be finding out. INT. WHATEVER. UGH. Ace. The Ace of Spades again. I just— don’t understand. There was a pain and heaviness in my chest, And anytime I looked at it for long enough to feel myself and realize what I was doing, I would begin to panic. What was this anxiety? INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA STUDIO 8H. DAY WRITERHey Lorne. LORNEHello. WRITERI heard you had a place… LORNEWhich place?WRITERA place where um..I can—- I can scream?LORNEOh, yes. WRITERYes?LORNEMy “Screaming Place”. WRITEROkay… LORNEI’ll send a car. WRITER…alright. Thanks. [later] WRITERHey dude. What’s up. COLLEAGUENothin—Um, WRITERWhat’s up. COLLEAGUEUm. Lorne let me use his “screaming place” WRITERYeah? Nice. COLLEAGUE—it was nice. WRITERI bet. COLLEAGUEBut now, he keeps asking me do weird favors. WRITERSo do them. COLLEAGUEYeah but— [more seriously, staring him directly in the eyes.] WRITERDo them.“ Enter The Lipowitz, Part I.” ‘The Screaming Place’ INT. LORNE'S OFFICE - 1977 - NIGHTLORNEThe Ace— Again! PAUL SIMONHey Lorne! Whatcha doin’?LORNEPlaying cards! Or I thought I was. PAUL SIMONWhat do you mean?LORNEShuffle those for me. PAUL SIMONWell, alright. LORNEReal good; and I mean it. PAUL SIMONSlow down, fellow! What’s got you all riled up?LORNEA race against time! PAUL SIMONJust shuffle, alright? LORNEGot it. [beat] PAUL SIMONThat should do it. LORNEYou’re an expert marksman, aren’t you?PAUL SIMONWell, I suppose— why?LORNEBecause I might have you take me out and shoot me after this. PAUL SIMONWhy!? LORNEDepends on the card. PAUL SIMONAlright. LORNEAlright. I draw it. PAUL SIMONAlright. LORNEAlright. Now. Throw the deck away.PAUL SIMONThe entire deck?! LORNEYes!PAUL SIMONIt’s a brand new pack of cards!...
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    1 時間 8 分
  • Lost Cause: Live! On The Grid

    Lost Cause: Live! On The Grid
    2026/10/03
    Ahdgh. SONA enters, clutching her left ribcage. She appears to have been STABBED. Don’t say stabbed. For all I know, that might happen. Fucking magical idiots. Imbiciles! You know what. You’re right. I’ll fix it, She is [quite obviously] WOUNDED. DAVID Sona! Hello. SONA Yeah. DAVID You look nice. SONA I always do. DAVID Except you have a little something on your— [he realizes her wound] DAVID Oh.SONA Yeah. DAVID …should I ask, or?SONA He stabbed me again. DAVID—Conan?! SONA Who else would keep stabbing me?DAVID You’re right.SONA Could you— ?DAVIDCertainly. He exits, leaving SONA to her own accord; She removes a small wrap of sorts from a cabinet above the pantry, pulling with her teeth, before activating it, reaching for what appears to be a WAND before wrapping it around herself; she partially collapses on the counter and takes a sigh of relief, before pointing the wand briefly at her ailments; she only begins to heal barely when suddenly, she hears her employer— and magical companion— working his way in. She takes a sigh of dilapidated defeat, calling out. SONAUgh— don’t come in here! CONAN Are you serious? How long could this be taking? It’s just a stab wound.SONAI’m not ready for you yet. CONAN I would have thought for you to be halfway up the canyons by now. SONA — through the same place twice. CONAN What if I use my wand? Would that be making any difference? It’s quicker. SONA It is. CONAN So it’s settled then. SONA Well, go ahead then. CONAN —I don’t have it. SONA Then why did you say anything—?! CONAN I was just affirming it’s quickness. SONA Are you serious CONAN It is superior. SONA Forget it, I’m already finished. CONAN Well then—I guess I’m useless. SONA You’re an idiot. CONAN Did it leave a scar?SONA Probably. Last time it did. CONAN looks at his CANE SWORD with a dignified approval. CONAN That is nice, then. Remind me to send a thank you gift for him. SONA I already did. CONAN (Scoffs) Well, that’s ironic; didja consider whether you’d be getting stabbed with it?SONA [Yeah]—I contemplated. CONANGo get cleaned up. You look disheveled. SONA just groans and raises herself from atop the counter. GORLEY enters with a boba tea. GORLEY He stabbed you again.SONA Masterful observation. SONA exits, healed but, barely. GORLEYI wish I had magic. CONAN Me too. Then I’d stab you. GORLEY giggles and sips his boba tea. GORLEY Well then, kinda glad I don’t.CONAN quickly whips around and zaps him with his wand, oblitherating his BOBA TEA. CONAN (Mumbles smugly) Can’t fix that with magic. CONAN strides away.GORLEY sighs. He is covered in delicious BOBA tea, however the BOBA has spread across the floor. DAVID returns and stands at the doorway. DAVID Oh. {Enter The Multiverse} “The Secret Life of Sona”SUNNI BLŪ has just purchased a house nestled quaintly in the vacinity of former late night host CONAN O’BRIEN, and is alarmed that he is huge, has bright red hair, and can frequently enough be seen JOGGING that it IRKS her. SUNNI BLŪ YO, WHAT. AGH. [LATER] UGH.[AGAIN] UFGH. —!! MORGAN. [HANNAH EINBEINDER]MORGANWhat. What. SUNNI BLUWhat is this. MORGANWhat is what?SUNNI BLUWhat’s this. MORGANWhat are you pointing at. [CONAN O’BRIEN JOGGING, PANTING] SUNNI BLUHow can you not see that?! MORGANSee what! What am I looking at?! [she points out the window at CONAN jogging by.]MORGAN…that man?SUNNI BLUIs that a “man"?MORGANUm… yeah? I…yeah, I think that’s Conan O’ Brien, actually.SUNNI BLUAh. You know him. MORGANNo?SUNNI BLU (gesturing to red-headedness)He’s your kind. MORGANUhh—- [she shakes her head, then looks back toward the window] MORGAN CONT’DOh, you mean redheaded. SUNNI BLUThat’s…exactly what I meant. MORGANI thought you meant white. SUNNI BLUYou are white. MORGANYeah but—SUNNI BLU[a blank stare] MORGAN CONT’DNevermind. SUNNI BLUSo you know him. MORGANUhh—I mean, I know of him–yeah–SUNNI BLUHe’s your uncle or something. MORGAN–??? SUNNI BLUI see the resemblance. MORGAN👀[SUNNI grabs a bottle of vodka from the cabinet; MORGAN looks at the clock. It is predictably 7:48 AM.]SUNNI BLUTell him stop trespassing. MORGANWhat? He’s not trespassing, he’s on the sidewalk. SUNNI BLUStretching 8 feet in any direction is considered trespassing—That includes vertically. MORGANWhat! No it doesn't! No it’s not! SUNNI BLUThat’s California law, that’s what they’re designating it. I have friends in the Senate, you know.MORGANAre you serious?SUNNI BLUNever mind, I’ll tell him. I need the paper anyway. SUNNI heads towards the door. MORGANSince when do you read the— Sunni, wait— Since when do you read the paper?! SUNNI BLUI don’t I just enjoy throwing it. MORGAN No, don’t— [SUNNI has already catapulted a dummy loaded LA Times through the air at astonishingly ...
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    1 時間 10 分
  • Lost Cause: {AETHER.}

    Lost Cause: {AETHER.}
    2026/10/03
    INT. VOID / LIMINAL SPACE - NIGHTCHAOSHey, Sis.CCNow that’s strange.CHAOSGet this: I’m you.CCWell, that’s stupid.CHAOSTo you.FINIYou’re a similar, aren’t you?REDNo, I’m a familiar.FINIClose enough.CHAOSIt’s not enough. It’s not the same. Not even close.FINITorture. Who are you?CHAOSI’m not distinctly anything.FINIWhy am I Jimmy Kimmel?CHAOSWho knows!FINIGreat, now the president hates me twice.CHAOSDon’t be so sure.FINIIt’s just a friendly game of—CHAOSOh, there’s my ogre.FINIYou have an ogre?!CHAOSI have everything.FINII see that.CHAOSThat’s great, now wake up.INT. GREEN ROOM / DREAMSPACE - CONTINUOUSJIMMY KIMMEL bolts upright, gasping as he wakes from a dream of golfing with Donald Trump.KIMMELAre we friends?!A beat.VOICE (O.S.)Possibly!CCYo. Lorne, you gotta stop doing this.VOICE (O.S.)Doing what?KIMMELIs he younger?!A boyish, youthful LORNE MICHAELS sits pleasant and completely calm, casually eating popped corn as he speaks with an almost maniacal chill—chill, as in too calm, but also sort of electric.KIMMEL (CONT'D)Uh... Dude.LORNE MICHAELSUgh.KIMMELYou’re horrible. You’re horrible. How did you learn to do this?!LORNE MICHAELSWhen did you develop that habit?KIMMELWhen did you?LORNE MICHAELSYou’re right.{Enter The Multiverse}"The Timekeeper"VOICE (O.S.)Open your eyes.KIMMELOh no. Not you again.VOICE (O.S.)Me. Again.KIMMELYo! Fuck you!VOICE (O.S.)You’re a DJ.KIMMELNO!VOICE (O.S.)THE END.KIMMELTHE END.SKRILLEX (V.O.)THE END—AGAIN.KIMMELAGAIN?! THIS IS YOUR F—[The Festival Project ™]AULTYo, why do I do this?VOICE (O.S.)You’re fasting again.AULTI’m not fasting. I’m starving to death.VOICE (O.S.)MY FAULT?! THIS IS YOUR F—AULTYou fucked up.VOICE (O.S.)Well. I did.AULTThis is your fault, you know.👀L E G E N D SI C O N ST I T A N S VS. O L Y M P I A N SROUND IIICCYou know I’ve been writing this series for seven years.VOICE (O.S.)Yeah, and look where it got you.CCIt got me—🏙️ 🌃 🌆✈️ ✈️ ✈️CC (CONT'D)Oh. Huh.VOICE (O.S.)Yeah, that’s right. "Oh."CCYo, that’s strange.The color of Lorne was distorted;I noted the Martian below him;I’m older but all out of order,My honor aborted award shows,Coveted,Conan was lo and behold him,All over the asphalt,Sat on a fault line,Fell into hard times, a giantMulti-conglomerate global,Holding awards up,Shout out to also important,Impostor for no one,And all of a buck,Give the poster to Ariana!ARIANA GRANDEAhem.CCYeah, thanks sis.ARIANA GRANDEYou’re welcome.CCI’m... licensed to murder.ARIANA GRANDEYou are.CCSo—ARIANA GRANDEGo ahead.CCI’m all out of purpose,Purportedly,Semi-unconscious,An honest reflection subconscious;Get too toxic,And washing my knocks in the fraudI uncovered, corruptionQuite abruptly,And I erupted.Free Tibet,Highlight tribe.ARIANA GRANDEHow’s he doing?CCOh, him?She nods.CC (CONT'D)That guy died.Everyone I like is dead;Running numbers in my head.How can I get back to Los AngelesWith a bagIf I’m just an actressWithout removing my pantsOr just dancing,Being ratchet?Shout out to Natalie,I cannot handle that,I am a nun;But believe everything under theSun is justOne.A conglomerate:Almost forgot that I bought NBC,Universal,And Oxygen.She takes a deep, ragged gasp of breath.CC (CONT'D)Everyone I like is dead.Dead.Dead.Dead.Amen.All of my life I’ve been dead.Dead.Dead.Dead.Amen.I think it’s all in my head;All of my life I dependOn paying off debt.Take a lesson from stressing onWomen and men.Not a friend in the world.God.God.ARIANA GRANDEOh, I respect that.CCI started over again—God.God.No, Conan!I think I’m seeing in red.Lessons.More lessons? FUCK.I had so many depressions,It turned into text,And then to a check.Lessons.More lessons? FUCK.Amen.I called him a friend,But never again,Fred.Don’t marry your torturer;Get a divorce and thenPass 'em the torch, you know.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.INT. PRODUCTION OFFICE - CONTINUOUSWRITER 2What the fuck, that’s the end?!WRITER 1I guess.WRITER 2Oh my—[W T F]The Chronicles of WTF.INT. KIMMEL'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHTMOLLY MCNEARNEY walks in, holding a production binder. JIMMY KIMMEL quickly tries to slide an ancient glowing relic under a stack of cue cards.MOLLYWhat are you doing?KIMMELNothing!MOLLYLet me see.KIMMEL👀MOLLYWhat is this?KIMMELIt’s magic.MOLLY(gasps)Magic?!KIMMELJust a little.MOLLYLet me see.KIMMELGimme—wait.MOLLYLet me see!KIMMELFine.MUSIC CUE: "HATE THAT I MADE YOU LOVE ME" - ARIANA GRANDEThe sub-bass drops as strings swell into the track, launching a hyper-kinetic visual MONTAGE:-- EXT. ANCIENT CANYON - SUNNI BLU fastens tactical utility harnesses over camouflage gear, adjusting a sidearm holster while staring intently toward a violet horizon.-- INT. CELESTIAL ARMORY - ARIANA GRANDE methodically straps on sleek, gilded pauldrons, running her fingers along the edge of a crystalline broadsword that hums with raw ...
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    1 時間 20 分
  • Lost Cause: Terminally Celibate. | Stand-Up Comedy Special

    Lost Cause: Terminally Celibate. | Stand-Up Comedy Special
    2026/10/03
    INT. SHADOWED CHAMBER - NIGHTTwo blue eyes peek out of the darkness into the pale flicker of candlelight.SETH MEYERSHey.FIGURE (O.S.)Don’t come any closer, Seth Meyers, I’ll shoot you.Suddenly, a silver pistol emerges from the shadows, pointed directly between those two same very blue eyes.SETH MEYERSI don’t doubt that.FIGUREYou shouldn’t.SETH MEYERSAll right, well...FIGUREWell...SETH MEYERSI—brought popped corn, er... all right, my—kernels, rather.FIGURE...For what purpose?SETH MEYERS(shrugging)Don’t know. Kind of expecting... Lorne to show up.Seth steps forward into a pillar of downlight.FIGUREAgain, for what purpose?SETH MEYERSI feel like this is highly conversational for someone pointing a gun at me.FIGUREEveryone’s entitled to have an opinion.SETH MEYERSYou’re wittier when you’re contemplating homicide.FIGUREI’m not contemplating, I’m procrastinating.SETH MEYERSNot contemplating, procrastinating. Ah—so—dual purpose.FIGUREThat’s your wit shining through there.SETH MEYERSI’m sure it’s only reflecting in the mirror image of that pistol.FIGUREThree coats of polish.SETH MEYERSYou must have quite the iron grip.FIGUREHow about it.SETH MEYERSHow about...SETH MEYERS steps forward in tandem with the subtle CLICK of the pistol being gently cocked, barrel leveled at his brow. He slowly raises his hands above his head in surrender, then swiftly uses his right hand to dislodge a yellow number two pencil from behind his ear.He raises the pencil, wielding it like a wand before tapping the clear plastic bag of popped corn kernels in his left hand. Tap. Tap. He swirls the pencil in an arc around the bag.The bag instantly turns from popped corn into clear water containing one solitary, swimming GOLDFISH.Seth gestures outward with an open palm: voilà.FIGURE...Not bad.SETH MEYERS(shrugging)Mm.A sharp GUNSHOT rings out.Seth ducks, desperately gripping the bag as the goldfish swims unbothered. A high-caliber slug ricochets off an overhead crystal chandelier and shatters a wall mirror into thousands of prismatic shards. In reflexive retaliation, a silver bullet discharges from the silver pistol. It narrowly misses Seth, ripping straight through the clear plastic bag.SETH MEYERS (CONT'D)OH, FUCK!The bag ruptures. Water and the GOLDFISH splash onto the parquet floor. The goldfish thrashes next to Seth, who contorts between shielding his skull and reaching out to save the fish. More bullets tear through the air. Seth executes a panicked lateral roll as the fish flails across the wood.FIGUREBastard.TWO SHADOWY NINJAS breach the perimeter through high windows.SETH MEYERSWhy?!FIGUREWhy not?Suddenly, ARMORED SAMURAI kick down the rear doors, drawing katanas!SETH MEYERSWait, ninjas or samurai?!FIGURE¿Por qué no los dos?The architectural dimensions of the room instantly fracture as the space erupts into a multi-epochal, cross-dimensional melee; cybernetic samurai clash swords with ancient shinobi; Victorian-era pirates brandish cutlasses against trench-coat-wearing 1930s mobsters firing tommy guns. Laser beams from futuristic space-cops intersect with mystical fireballs deployed by hovering medieval dragons, as Wild West cowboys on horseback materialize from localized temporal rifts, dual-wielding revolvers beside trident-toting mermaids who surge forward on crests of tidal anomalies.Amidst this cataclysmic tapestry of historical and mythological warfare, Seth Meyers is thrust into absolute, frantic desperation. He flails prone across the architecture, executing erratic lateral rolls and frantic somersaults to evade supersonic projectiles, whistling crossbow bolts, and stray cannonballs that pulverize the surrounding masonry. A sweeping claymore decapitates an adjacent combatant, passing a mere millimeter above Seth’s ducked head; moments later, a rogue shuriken grazes his ankle, leaving a burning laceration. Yet his focus remains tethered to the aquatic captive.He maneuvers across the floorboards like an uncoordinated gymnast, contorting his torso into protective arcs and cupping his palms into a fragile, improvised vessel. The combatants demonstrate a surreal, highly choreographed deference to the central chaos; they execute gravity-defying leaps, stealthy pirouettes, and fluid, rhythmic lunges directly over Seth’s undulating form, weaving their lethal maneuvers through the air with microscopic precision. A stray bowie knife embeds itself deeply into the floorboards, pinning the fabric of Seth's sleeve and narrowly missing his arm, yet through this symphonic display of universal hostility, the goldfish remains miraculously untouched, entirely unstepped upon amidst the stampede of boots, hooves, and flippers.SETH MEYERS (CONT'D)(calling out to nobody)I’m fine!The quick, nimble footwork of the warriors somehow leaves both Seth and the fish alive. However, the goldfish ceases its frantic flailing, opening its mouth in faint, desperate gasps for oxygen.The surviving combatants ...
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    1 時間 7 分
  • Ubiquity.

    Ubiquity.
    2026/10/03
    EXT. NIGHTCLUB / ALLEYWAY - NIGHTA booming beat drops. SUNNI BLU (played by TRACY MORGAN) holds the mic mid-cypher outside the back entrance.SUNNI BLUOther bitches stay in the chat,But me, I’m different.This is the world I been living in:I’m in the club right now,Camouflage pants and Illuminati fitted.Ain’t no wigs getting snatched,We in the back right now.It’s a movie,In the second act right now.I ain’t gotta think back right now,Matter of fact right now,Roll a fattie right now,Get smacked right now, if you want, butAin’t no wigs getting snatched right now.Other bitches stay in the chat,But me, I’m different.Matter of fact;I just wrote a rap right now.This is the world I been living in.OK;Three times,Three times:Mitch McConnell throwing up the peace sign.Now I got three times on me,Got a one-track diamond mind though,Shawty outside though,Vibes all the time though—NATALIE NUNNBlu, shut up.SUNNI BLUWhat?I don’t fuck n***as,I am just a fuck n***a.I been on some fuck shit,Prolly roll a blunt shit,I be on some cunt shit,That is no assumption.Peepin' on corruptionOn a brunch and luncheon.Y’all been in the lunchroom,I been eating munch, dude.What?NATALIE NUNNBlu, shut up!ANDY SAMBERG (AS LORNE MICHAELS)(deadpan cadence)Anything can happen at brunch!Doooo!SUNNI BLUMore camouflage,Got a n***a in a smock;More camouflage,Star Trek, call me Spock.More camouflage,Park the car, I spin the block.Turn the cameras off,Bend it over,Gonna fuck.I be fly like a bird,I flock 'em.N***a, I’m awesome.Talk show,Like I’m Emmy Rossum.Plot twist,Sike, nah,I got options.I just went shopping,’Bout to take a bunch of rocks to the Plaza’Cause I’m on my God shit.I ain’t no house,I’m progressive experiment.I just bought a house in Malibu,Oh.I’m ’bout to buy me a BarbieAnd find me a hobby,End up in the lobby just flaunting.Uh,Every house I go is haunted.I’m ghost,Probably French 'cause I’m toasted, yeah.French, I’m Montana,Not Hannah,But been on my Peloton,Yeah.That is a deep cut.I do some deep throat,That’s not a secret.I am a seeker,AvidReader.I amLeaderOf the free world.Once you see me,You won’t need her.Ahahahaha!I got chin-checked,I am Natalie Nunn.Write me a checkAnd then go for a run.Smoke me a blunt,Bake me a bundtCake.She mad at me 'cause her buttFake.I got up midnight onMon-Day,I’mOnOne.You mad,Huh?I’m Kanye!Let me be Frank Ocean,I got blonder.Go on a walk to the Whole Foods,Picking up some water.I been on Wall Street,You cannot stop me.I own a Walmart;I run the country.President Trump wanna fuck me’Cause I got junk in the trunkee,And money in the trust, eh?Chunky-Monkey, Monkey Bread: EE!See me on hump day;Since you want to,Humpty-Dumpty.I been on some fuck shit,Call me Sukihana.You know what I want:PeanutButter.Ahaha!I am a Lost Cause,Licking on your bal-wals.Hakuna MatataLike I am a warthog.I don’t need a bottle,But I want a bag though.I been on some gay shit,But I’m not a fag though.I been on some fan shit,But I got fans though.I been on some bad shit,Call me Michael Jackson.Yessir, an asshole,Present, not a past though.I been on SNAP,Crackle-pop,Head of the household.NATALIE NUNN...I am... so confused.MYSTIC (V.O.)(ethereal incantation)You don’t belong,Just come and go...Although we share a common goal.SUNNI BLU pulls out a glossy photograph of JIMMY KIMMEL and thrusts it directly before Natalie.SUNNI BLUHave you seen this man?!NATALIE NUNN doesn’t respond, only squinting in a sort of angry, drunken confusion—looking immaculate, nonetheless.SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)That’s fine. What about this one?SUNNI BLU whips out a headshot of JAY LENO. NATALIE squints again, registering a flash of visceral recognition.SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)Of course you have. That’s your fatha.SUNNI BLU tosses both photos to the pavement.SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)You can keep that.NATALIE NUNN is reality television’s most notorious and high-profile SHAPESHIFTER, whose current extraterrestrial identity is unknown; this may be a deep-cover agent, or perhaps even a high-ranking intergalactic government official using NATALIE as its current host.Some extraterrestrials are trademarked by their extremely high tolerance for alcohol consumption and hybrid human appearance.SUNNI BLU (TRACY MORGAN) has been in hot pursuit of a highly volatile shapeshifting aviary, last known to have been seen with the entity CHAOS, who often conforms as the high-profile television personality JIMMY KIMMEL, whose actual true identity remains unknown.These entities are notorious for multiversal structure decomposure and material construction through the consumption and distribution of "intoxicant substances"—drugs and spirits which alter the perception of the human body and mind, allowing the multi-billion-century-long war to carry on in multilateral intergalactic directions across charted and uncharted territories of the cosmic grid.SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)You’re right. I don’t fit in.NATALIE NUNNYou’re lost!SUNNI BLUWhat?...
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    1 時間 15 分
  • The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I EP. 11 - "I'm Telling!" - Stand-Up Comedy

    The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I EP. 11 - "I'm Telling!" - Stand-Up Comedy
    2026/10/03
    EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - NIGHT
    VOICE 1 (O.S.)Oh shit, this nigga’s walkin’ on taxis! Somebody get ‘em.
    VOICE 2 (O.S.)...but they’re ’90s taxis... They might even be older.
    VOICE 1 (O.S.)Ohhhhhhh shit. New promos. Whaaaaaat’s this?!
    VOICE 2 (O.S.)Damn, Jake from State Farm—you really went and fucked up this time.
    VOICE 1 (O.S.)Don’t I know it.
    BLŪ (V.O.)I need a new tourmaline.
    CC (V.O.)As if the one I’m wearing around my neck isn’t enough?
    BLŪ (V.O.)It’s not.He’s got...20 numbers in his phone book,20 numbers on speed dial,20 numbers in his pocket, look,20 more, if you play your cards right.He’s going hog wild,All in.Hot wife and a hot rod,Long pole with a Jolly Roger on it,Not a long story.She’s a hot mess,He’s a coldmotherfucker,And she’s all dressed,waiting by the door for an Acura.Flawless,’Cause that’s what he ordered;Someone saw it coming,Counting the losses—Setting off alarms,And calling the stockbroker on him.Just a warning for the heartless:You ought to get warmer somewhereBy the closure of this story.Open the portal.
    INT. BROADCAST FACILITY / PORTAL CHAMBER - CONTINUOUS
    JIMMY KIMMELGET IN, STEPHEN.
    STEPHEN COLBERTNO.
    JIMMY KIMMELGET—IN—THE PORTAL.
    STEPHEN COLBERTNO. I’M NOT GOING.
    JOHN OLIVER is smoking a cigar in the corner, not helping at all as the other hosts, SETH MEYERS, JIMMY KIMMEL, and JIMMY FALLON fight fellow former host STEPHEN COLBERT as he claws himself out of the portal; as much manpower as it takes to keep him in, it seems to take a lot more getting out.
    JOHN OLIVEROh, you’re going, all right...
    He puts out his cigar in a silver ashtray, then walks over to the LAUNCHPAD and opens up the HATCH, before pressing down intently on a RED BUTTON, which, in a plume of GREEN LIGHT, instantly activates the portal, sucking STEPHEN COLBERT clean in, feet first and arms reeling as he screams—
    STEPHEN COLBERTNOOOOOOOOOOO—GODDAMMIT!!!
    KIMMEL and SETH MEYERS jump back to save themselves from the strong force of the open portal; however, JIMMY FALLON—who was in charge of the legs—has been unforgivingly warped into the portal behind STEPHEN, exclaiming nothing at all, because his dialogue costs too much.
    JIMMY KIMMELOh, shit.
    JOHN OLIVER"Oh shit," indeed.
    JIMMY KIMMELWell, that wasn’t the plan.
    SETH MEYERS...I wouldn’t worry about it.
    JIMMY KIMMELI’m not worried, per se. I just—
    JIMMY FALLON walks in normally through the door.
    JOHN OLIVEROkay?
    JIMMY FALLONWhat’d I miss?
    JOHN OLIVERNothing, apparently.
    SETH MEYERS👀 I told you.
    JIMMY KIMMELSo apparently, you’re the only one who figured out how to get out of one of these things?
    SETH MEYERS👀 I told you.
    JIMMY FALLONOh, what, this?
    He deactivates the portal using an off-switch located at the bottom of the portal. It suddenly shuts off. They stare at him in disbelief.
    JIMMY FALLON (CONT'D)You gotta turn it off when you’re finished; it’s burning a lot of electricity.
    JIMMY KIMMEL(squinty)...Yeah, okay.
    JOHN OLIVERI've had exactly enough.
    JIMMY KIMMELYeah, I’m going to bed. I’m on West Coast time.
    JOHN OLIVERDoesn’t that make it early, for you, then?
    JIMMY KIMMELWhatever.
    SETH MEYERS, JOHN OLIVER, and JIMMY KIMMEL all head toward the door, leaving FALLON standing alone at the portal awkwardly.
    JOHN OLIVERStandard NBC ethos, I’m betting.
    JIMMY KIMMELI bet nothing.
    SETH MEYERS👀 I told you!
    {Enter The Multiverse}
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    1 時間 49 分
  • 03. The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I Ep 3- {"The Killing Bees"}

    03. The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I Ep 3- {"The Killing Bees"}
    2026/10/03
    EXT. PRIMEVAL FOREST - DAYSHIEKWhat has you up against a wall?FINIMy brother.SHIEKWhat’s wrong?FINIHe’s going to kill me; I can feel it.CHAOS and INFINITY are immortal souls of creation, trapped in a centuries-long game of seek-and-find—or, more accurately, seek-and-destroy, as the strategic and tactical INFINITY is usually bested by her younger brother CHAOS by his tactile use of brute force, weaponry, and merciless destruction.INFINITY, though equipped with an adapting presence, plays this game set in principles of fact, respecting the art of war and playing it rather fairly—Perhaps this is why she keeps losing to her much younger, but physically adaptive younger brother—as these ranges within time upon which they age almost certainly always place him as technically appearing, for humanoid purposes, older, bigger, and stronger—however, not more powerful.CHAOS has learned the karmic output of his own destruction, usually looming over him in a cosmic outward effect which summits more like a rippling throughout time served as consequences, as he awaits his sister’s imminent recycle and age against his own reincarnation and death epochs.SHIEKThere’s a sense that he might be creeping along, I gather, but I don’t think “today” is nearly accurate enough to assume your holding position against that poor creature as a requisite defense.By this "poor creature," she means the tree which FINI is leaning on to her wits' end; in this world and time, planetary biologics such as trees, plants, and animals are acknowledged also as wholly formed consciousness in physical manifestations as an artistic creative concept for the mastery of planets throughout time in the cosmic realm, and manipulation of energy throughout such as creatures, animals, people, and the very planets upon which they exist.In fact, it was in the beginning of these realms and primordial worlds within the voids that INFINITY—or FINI—had adapted this concept of creation by merging these alchemic thoughts with outer forces, creating complex multi-structures and full galaxy concepts, rather than just concentrating one’s entire own energy into a singular planet, or as humans would call it, monotheistic concepts. That is, at once, INFINITY had configured with respect to her outwardly expanding consciousness, rapid creation of planetary constructs as powerful multidimensional galactic art projects.This, in our own world and time, explains our own belief systems, spanning many worlds and many gods.SHIEK (CONT'D)How do you expect to keep all of them up there like that?FINIEventually, they’ll stay in place on their own.SHIEKHow do you figure that?!FINIJust wait for it.Gravity and its placement within the void remains at large an experimental and theoretical concept of compression in pure consciousness.[The Festival Project ™]FINI (CONT'D)No, I know the feeling when it’s coming.SHIEKYour brother?FININo. The feeling of death and impending doom, but with him as the agent of this, most likely.SHIEKYou are funny.FINII’m not joking.SHIEKBut it’s funny.FINII’m making you aware, there’s no mistaking it...SHIEKSpare me the theatrics.FINII’m not exaggerating—here, take this.SHIEKOkay, but why am I taking this?FINIHe has a harpoon.SHIEKWhat's a harpoon?FINIA weapon.SHIEKWhere did he get it?FINII gave it to him for his birthday. Then, he threw me from a cliff.SHIEKWell, then, why are you so sure he’s coming for you with it in this reincarnation, and on this day precisely?FINIBecause. I’ve been calculating it—and—since he was young, and we made up this game—we’ve always been playing it. At first, I let him win because I’m ancient, I didn’t realize he’d be disfiguring me for the next—Suddenly, there’s a rustling in the distance; a flock of birds bursts into the wind.FINI (CONT'D)—did you hear that?SHIEKI didn’t hear anything over your paranoid over-dramatics... but I can tell you’re really serious. He threw you off a cliff?FINIYeah, he did.SHIEKWhy would he do that?FINIBecause, I’d once contemplated knowing what it feels like to free fall that exact height without any aviary instruments.SHIEKOh, that’s—harsh.FINIArt in the name of the pursuit of knowledge.SHIEKAll is.FINI—and since it was his birthday, I was anticipating it.SHIEKI don’t get it. You think he actually likes doing this?FINIMy brother is increasingly destructive—menial, even. This is just the nature of his—SWUUFPPT!INFINITY is hit from an unseen angle above; a harpoon has been plunged diagonally and directly into her chest.FINI (CONT'D)See. I told you.She’s now pinned to the tree by the harpoon. CHAOS descends from a nearby tree. INFINITY looks down at her fatal wound at the harpoon and admires it for its quality.FINI (CONT'D)That is nice. I like that.SHIEKWhere did you even get something like that?FININow I’m being funny, I’m also dying—you should at the very least be laughing for me.SHIEKIt's not worth it if I...
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    1 時間 1 分
  • YAYAYa.

    YAYAYa.
    2025/05/02

    Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ |

    Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved.

    -Ū.
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    4 分