"I never realized until I was doing this presentation how much marrying him really contributed to me being a therapist."

Maggie Riback is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She is also married to a volunteer firefighter, and she has been learning the fire service from inside a marriage for sixteen years.

She is not a first responder. She does not currently have first responders in her caseload. That is exactly why this conversation goes somewhere the others haven't: Maggie is the person on the other side of the door, the one who watches someone leave in the middle of the grocery run with no idea when he is coming back or who will walk in when he does.

Greg and Amy sit down with Maggie in Iowa to talk about the early call that lasted three hours, when she was too new to the relationship to ask if he was okay without feeling dramatic. They get into the way "I'm fine" functions as a complete sentence in the fire service, and the routine she and her husband built so she can read the answer without asking the question. Greg shares the percentage system he uses with his wife, and the two of them work out why the deal is different when you meet someone before the academy versus after.

Maggie also does the thing almost nobody does on a podcast: she explains how to actually find a therapist. What to ask on the free consultation. Why some of what surfaces in a directory search is paid placement. Why not every therapist works with trauma, and why you should ask that out loud before you book.

And she answers the fear underneath all of it, the one that keeps firefighters out of the chair. Not that therapy won't work. That it will, and that what it finds will take the job away.

This episode is dedicated to Chief Patrick Walsh, East Farmingdale Fire Department. A legend among legends. Gone, but never forgotten.

This episode discusses mental health, trauma, and alcohol use. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline), or call the Fire/EMS Helpline at 1-888-731-3473. You are not alone.