Pre-mum me wore heels a lot because I tied a significant part of how I felt about myself to how dressed up I was.

Motherhood changed that. First out of necessity then out of choice.

Jumpsuits, trainers, and somewhere across 3 to 5 years of motherhood the casual dressing stopped feeling like a compromise and started feeling like exactly enough.

But there is more to it than just the clothes.

In this episode:
→ The jumpsuit era — optimising to get out of the house with two small children and how that accidentally started everything
→ Why living in a social media vacuum has been one of the most quietly powerful things for my confidence
→ What happens when you stop comparing and start actually liking yourself
→ Why confidence that is not dependent on what you are wearing is a different kind of confidence entirely
→ What I want my daughter to observe — it is good to look your best, but do not lose yourself in the process

It started out of necessity and somewhere in between I found a version of confidence I did not know I was missing.

Not every lesson that shapes you as a mother happens after you become one.

This episode is my top six experiences from before motherhood that I now recognise as the foundations of the mother I am today.

→ Solo travel
→ Quitting my job and navigating a career pivot
→ Solitude
→ Losing my mum at 9
→ Frugality with money

→ Heartbreak

Motherhood blows everything wide open. The rules change. The priorities shift. And suddenly you are back to basics in a way you never expected.

But you are not starting from scratch. You are anchored by everything you quietly lived before they arrived.

That is why these six experiences matter to me.

My daughter asked to go inside a woman's house I had just finished a professional shoot at. My immediate instinct was absolutely not. That is odd and a bit much.

She got really upset. And knowing my daughter, really upset has only one destination. So I knocked on the door and asked. The woman said yes.

My daughter asked without knowing that asking can be scary. No history of rejection. No internal calculation of whether it was reasonable. Just the ask.

I have that history. And I am asking anyway.

In this episode:
→ Why children ask without fear — and what we lose when we stop doing the same
→ The difference between asking without evidence and asking despite it
→ Jia Jiang's rejection theory and what deliberately seeking no teaches you about the ask
→ What my children's unlimited asking has done to my own inhibitions

For the woman who has talked herself out of the ask before she has even opened her mouth.

This one might change that. 💛