Who among us has never heard of a man or woman who wanted to be in the movies? Movie stardom is a siren call for dreamers and doofuses the world over, for who wouldn’t want to live the dream of bitter divorces, loss of privacy, and opening a door fifty times to get the perfect shot for a pretentious director? Perhaps that’s why Buster Keaton double dipped in his 1924 comedy Sherlock Jr., home of one of the most memorable screen-jumping moments in cinematic history. Like so much of Keaton’s early filmography, Sherlock Jr. is considered a timeless classic, but it has yet to be considered by the discerning minds of Magellans at the Movies, so dust off your magnifying glass and keep a weather eye on your pocket watch as we review this silent cinematic standard.

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When people are killed, when children go missing, when affairs are had, the detectives of the world step in and smoke, deduce, analyze, smoke, gather clues, smoke, fight, smoke, and light up a cigarette in search of justice. What happens, however, when the detective swaps out a fondness for recreational cancer in favor of fine cuisine and even finer facial hair? Why, then you’d have the mighty moustached sleuth Hercule Poirot, ace investigator and star of numerous movies such as Murder on the Orient Express, a 2017 who-dun-it directed by Kenneth Branagh and based on the 1934 book by Agatha Christie. Murder was received with positive, if somewhat tepid reviews and a heaping helping of cash that spawned two more Christie adaptations by the same team, but those are mysteries for another day. For now, we have the Case of the Squabbling Siblings, and who is the perpetrator of this most ghastly crime against innocent ears? It’s Nathan and Elliot of Magellans at the Movies, of course! So, grab your nightly stache protector and your favorite Dickens and join us as we attempt to deduce the flaws and strengths of this steam engine enigma.

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How much do you really know about your next door neighbor? I know that Greg might seem like an affable old man who putters around the garden and gives out carrot sticks on Halloween, but haven’t you ever considered that he might be a shape shifting alien with sinister designs not just on you, but the world entire? Enough about my contentious relationship with my local HOA, however, let’s talk movies, specifically The Thing, a 2011 science fiction horror movie directed by Matthis van Heijningen. This prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 classic of the same name tells the tale of the ill-fated Norwegian outpost that was the first to fall to a malevolent alien parasite capable of assimilating and imitating all life, and it did so to less than stellar reviews. The Thing (2011) may have been a box office bomb and critical failure on release, but is it enough to satisfy first time watchers and original The Thing fans Nathan and Elliot of Magellans at the Movies? Keep your eye on Greg and listen on to find out!

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It’s-a-me, Mario! How many times have you heard those words, be they in the innumerable games that feature Nintendo’s most famous cash cow, or in the shrill falsetto of you and your stupid friends as you play Smash Bros.? Like Star Wars, Mario as a franchise and as a character has transcended the boundaries of medium, language, and culture to become a fixture of global civilization. Practically the figurehead of video games themselves, you would be hard pressed to find someone who didn’t recognize his loud red hat; white gloves; and immaculate blue overalls. From such a marketable brand the cynical minds of Hollywood could not have long remained apart, even after the disastrous adaptation of 93, which is why they had another go at it in 2023 with The Super Mario Bros. Movie, an animated kids’ comedy directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic. Despite a lukewarm reception from critics, this candy-colored bit of cinematic fluff hoovered up cash by the hundreds of millions, breaking records and ensuring that the franchise will be with us until the heat death of the universe. The inevitable sequels and spin offs is a concern of the morrow, however, while we remain in the day, and sufficient for the evil thereof is this fungal adventure of plumbers and princesses. Will it receive a joyful “wah-hoo!” from the Magallens at the Movies, or is it doomed to a despairing “oh-a-noooo!”? Press play to find out!

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Music is nice, isn’t it? It’s one of the oldest art forms in human history, it crosses cultural boundaries, and it contains more sub-genres and niche interests than there are cruddy “soulslikes” on Steam. As with all other forms of artistic expression, plenty can go wrong when you’re making music, especially if you’re so good at it a group of vampires rock up to your joint looking to recruit you into their band. Such is the burden borne by the heroes of Sinners, a 2025 horror movie directed by Ryan Coogler. For audiences and critics alike, Sinners has been a great big lungfull of fresh air, an original movie with a strong premise and a great cast, so it was inevitable that the originality-loving, great-cast-appreciating Magellans at the Movies would make it the subject of their latest analysis. Will Nathan and Elliot be able to hate the sin but love Sinners? Lock your doors and grab your garlic, let’s find out!

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Cartoons. It may be hard to believe, but before they were a stable full of dead horses being optimistically flogged by the Fox network, cartoons were once the masters of a vast entertainment empire linking the theater with the ever-important Saturday morning slot. Clearly animation has changed since the rule of Bugs Bunny and/or Mickey Mouse, but, thankfully, the past is beyond recovery, not review. That’s why today Magellans at the Movies will be reviewing Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a 1988 comedic mashup of animation and live action directed by Robert Zemeckis and based (sort of) on Who Censored Roger Rabbit? by Gary Wolf. Roger Rabbit was a big old hit for its nostalgic cartoon sensibilities and its groundbreaking special effects, and has gone on to enjoy a respectable share of nostalgia itself. What say the loony losers of the Midwest’s favorite film podcast? L-l-l-l-listen on to find out, folks!

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Computers. They’re honestly just the bane of my existence. When they’re not perishing to water, the most common element on the planet, they’re malfunctioning for reasons beyond the reach of human cognition, they’re spitting out esoteric verse only those initiated into the elect circle of digital interpreters are capable of translating. It makes me wonder, what’s really happening behind the screen and beneath the keys? What kinds of wondrous worlds are unfolding just beneath our fingertips? That is the question Tron: Legacy, a 2010 sci fi action adventure movie directed by Joseph Kosinski, seeks to answer. Tron: Legacy follows up the cult hit Tron with a sleek, modern update, and you know what that means: sharper effects, slower motion, and the original star making a return, albeit with more wrinkles. Tron: Legacy got poor reviews, underwhelming ticket sales, and a lasting affinity from the young Magellans, in whose household it was a frequent pick for movie night. Has time made their views age like once groundbreaking CGI? The only way to find out is to listen to our brand new episode! End of line, beginning of podcast!

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Ah, to be alive in the 80s. An era of increasing digitization, designer drugs, and flagging dictatorships warming themselves on the dying embers of the Cold War. Like most decades in human history, the 80s had its ups and downs and crises, but unlike most decades in human history, it also had movies! This fateful decade was the age of the big, burly action hero and the soaring fantasy adventure, and the Magellans at the Movies have been hard at work over their unannounced hiatus filling out the gaps in their 80s movie knowledge, the product of which you can enjoy in the form of today’s brand new episode! Continuing their journey through film history, Nathan and Elliot have assembled lists of the films they believe represent the cream of the cinematic crop, and will be paring them down into the official Magellans at the Movies top 10 best films of the 80s for your listening pleasure! Tear down the wall of your inhibitions and just say no to your other responsibilities and get to listening!

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