William Shakespeare and his vocabulary of thous, thees, and doths has been the delight of literature nerds and the scourge of high school students since before ChatGPT had even sanctioned its first user delusion. Shakespeare is one of the best selling authors in human history (though he’s had a lot of time to build up that lead, to be fair), the most performed playwright in theater, and has been firmly atop the canon of English literature for centuries. Big Bill Shakespeare isn’t just winning on the stage, however, he’s also been adapted for the screen, many times in fact. Over the years dozens of directors have taken dozens more angles on translating Shakespeare, perhaps none to more acclaim than the 1989 Kenneth Branagh directed rendition of Henry V, based on the play of the same name. This gritty, muddy vision of Harfleur and Agincourt, as well as all the royal politicking in between, released to rave reviews in its time, but can it withstand the discerning, monocled gazes of theater regulars and literary connoisseurs Nathan and Elliot Magalhães? You few, you happy, very, very few have the opportunity to find out here and now on Magellans at the Movies! Once more unto the breach, dear audience!

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The tragic sinking of the RMS Titanic was an event that saw the telling of many stories. Stories of heroism and valor as well as cowardice and ugliness. Unfortunately, none of those stories included a pair of young hotties who could be played by bankable heartthrob stars enjoying a passionate but doomed love affair, so the good people of tinsel town had to step in for the movie version. Titanic, the 1997 historical romance directed by James Cameron, may be more fiction than fact, but that didn’t stop it from achieving legendary success. This fable of the water-borne Babel raked in cash by the millions and awards by the dozens, and is rarely far from the top on lists of most popular Best Picture winners. Will Nathan and Elliot be third class heroes, sharing in the love of millions of fans, or will they be first class upstarts sneering down their noses at one of the most beloved movies of the 1990s? Grab your tickets and become kings and/or queens of the world with us as we set sail to find out!

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As the people in my basement will tell you, in hostage situations as in parties, your host is often the difference between a legendary, all night rager and a brief, unpleasant excursion sure to end in tragedy. Remember: as the one with the gun, you are responsible for the comfort, health, and restraints of your guests, and it takes a sharp, compassionate mind to juggle these responsibilities. Without these factors in mind, things can go south fast, as evidenced by the quirky kidnapping at the heart of Bugonia, a 2025 comedy thriller directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and based on Save the Green Planet! By Jang Jonn-Hwan. Bugonia combines Yorgos’ usual idiosyncratic stylings with a somewhat more accessible narrative than his past outings, which may explain the movie’s success. As of writing, Bugonia has been nominated for multiple Oscars, and enjoys warm feelings from critics and audiences alike. But what is the temperature of those other idiosyncratic men with strange surnames: Nathan and Elliot Magalhães of Magellans at the Movies? To answer that and many other questions no one is asking, join us on today’s new episode as Lanthimos superfan Nathan and Lanthimos skeptic Elliot explore the Goofy Ghastly Greek’s latest fever dream. Brush up on your Andromedan and shave your head, let’s hit the basement!

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