Why do I have to tell you who Spider-Man is? Have you seriously never heard of him, even if you haven’t seen this movie? I have better things to do than explain the deal with one of the most popular characters in all of fiction, or the details of one of his most iconic and recognizable screen outings. You want to know more? Look it up. I’m going to bed.

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Hair. Where? Here, there, and everywhere! What am I jabbering about? Why Rapunzel, of course, the heroine with uncommonly blessed follicles most famously seen on screen in Tangled, a 2010 animated adventure directed by Nathan Greno and Byron Howard, based on the fairy tale by . . . you know that’s actually somewhat complicated so let’s just say the Brothers Grimm. It’s a Disney princess movie, folks, and that means bright colors, songs of questionable necessity, and animals who, if they can’t talk, are still clearly sapient. Just because Tangled fits snugly within the Disney tradition doesn’t mean that it’s not good, however, and indeed many people over the years have described it as very good, even beloved. But will our hosts send off a thousand lantern salute in honor of an animated classic, or will the film turn withered and gray beneath their unforgiving eyes? Warm up your singing voice and let’s get braiding!

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Neighbors. Whether they’re polka dancing in the apartment above yours or inexplicably mowing the lawn at five in the morning, the people living over, under, and around us can be difficult. And yet of the many irritating scenarios you’ve no doubt experienced with them, I don’t think any neighbors have posed a greater challenge to Jesus’ most famous rule than the next-door extraterrestrials of District 9, a 2009 science fiction film directed by Neill Blomkamp. This brainy, grimy genre mashup imagined first contact as less of an existential and more of a humanitarian (alienarian?) crisis. It was a refreshingly original concept, executed with enough gritty style to make an overnight star of its freshman director, but will the film and our hosts overcome their differences and embark on a budding cross-species friendship, or will Nathan and Elliot flee like aliens from a ghetto in search of entertainment elsewhere? Strap in and avoid suspicious extraterrestrial canisters if at all possible as we find out!

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