Wizards have a long history, not just in movies, but in fiction generally. Whether they’re running a class action lawsuit just waiting to happen in the form of a deathtrap boarding school, going on road trips to return some seriously defective jewelry, or burning things at random to punctuate each sentence, audiences everywhere delight in sorcerers of screen, page, and stage. Fictional wizards (as opposed to real wizards, of course) could also come in the form of a de facto monarch lording over an enclave of green structures erected in his own selfish image, exchanging favors for the assassination of his geopolitical enemies with random strangers. I’m talking, of course, about the titular magic man of The Wizard of Oz, a 1939 family musical directed by Victor Fleming and based on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. The Wizard of Oz is beloved, that’s plain to see from its frequent top honors on best-of movie lists, and has dazzled millions of children the world over, but can it withstand the modern cynicism of two men brought up in the torrid fires of the 21st century? Load your squirt gun and wave Kansas goodbye as we join cynics Nathan and Elliot on Magellans at the Movies to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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Stand back, coppers, I've got a brainwashed child and I'm not afraid to use it! How many times have you heard that phrase barked from the mouths of bank robbers and rum runners? In the past few months, I know there's not a day that goes by in Kansas City without the sight of gangs aiming military-grade elementary schoolers at each other in tense standoffs. This sudden arsenal of adolescents is, in my opinion, attributable mainly to people misunderstanding the point of Weapons, a 2025 horror movie directed by Zach Cregger. After all, this spine-tingling story of the kids being very much not all right proved to be a surprise summer hit, earning all involved heaps of cash and reams of glowing reviews, but all that celebrating was, of course, premature, since Magellans at the Movies hadn't had their say yet. Today that changes, and the final word on rising horror darling Cregger's latest chiller will be handed down. Will this seal Weapons' ascent into genre divinity, or will the film be sent running into the dark like a kid trying to bodily recreate the outline of that one Star Wars ship? Hide your hair and grab your bell, let's find out!

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You sleep through your alarm on the day of your big presentation, you leave your wallet at home the one day you decide to push the speed limit, your dad’s human illegal exotic pet empire gets dismantled and the proceeds reclaimed at the very moment you need money for bond, the bomb you intended for the alarm clock company as vengeance for their substandard products explodes in your hand leaving you with quite a bit of egg, and your own arm, on your face; my friends, it truly is one battle after another. Thankfully, while you wait for your richly deserved sentence to be handed down, you can still take your mind off of your troubles at the movies, though for those of us who are feeling like if it’s not one thing, it’s a daggone ‘nother, Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest flick, One Battle After Another, kinda sorta loosely based-ish on Vineland by Thomas Pynchon, might not be distracting so much as magnifying. That’s because this 2025 political/satirical thriller is all about the relentless onslaught of being a former revolutionary trying to raise a daughter in an authoritarian near-future America, and while it may not be relaxing, it is certainly acclaimed. Frankly, that word doesn’t fully explain just how euphorically this film has been received by critics, but the Guardians, New Yorkers, and Chicago Sun-Timeses are easy pickings, earning a kind word from Magellans at the Movies? Now that’s a feat worth putting on the DVD case. Will this kooky caper be able to pull off such a coup? Grab your AK and don your bonnet rouge and let’s find out!

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