Everyone loves an underdog story, and no unlikely triumph gets audiences on their feet like those shocking upsets which unfold in sports. The victory of the Earthy Lovable Small Town Spotted Toads over the Arrogant Wealthy Big City Polar Bears is certain to move make you a Spotted Toad fan for life because the inspiring, uplifting story is so hard to resist. What's true in real life is often true in movies as well, which is why we have films like Hoosiers, a 1986 sports drama directed by David Anspaugh and based(ish)on the successes of the 1954 season of the Milan High School basketball team. This feel-good fable of dunks, dribbles, and drunkards was hugely popular on release, and is held by many to be among the best sports movies of all time, so it was inevitable that a sports-loving relative of Magellans at the Movies would request it. Repeatedly. But will the movie stage a dominant performance on the court of quality, or will it bounce the ball of its foot in doleful ignominy? Jump in your jersey as we find out!

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Ah, the heady days of youth, throwing action figures down stairwells and smashing armies of toy soldiers together in shocking displays of poor generalship. You may remember these blissful hours fondly, but playtime may carry less nostalgia if you knew that every time you dropped G.I. Joe on his plastic head you were actually committing a grave crime against the health and dignity of a living, feeling creature. That’s right, you vile war criminal, according to Toy Story, a 1995 animated adventure directed by John Lasseter, you shouldn’t be fondly reminiscing about your adolescent adventures, you should be dragged before the Hague in chains! I’m being glib, of course, being dropped on the head is generally what a toy signs up for in the world of this beloved kids’ classic (though they draw a firm line at death by rocket), and it’s exactly that warm, familial sentiment which makes Toy Story the film that it is. We won’t be coy about this one, folks: Toy Story is an undeniable masterpiece, and Magellans at the Movies will spend the next forty five minutes or so extolling its many, many virtues. You’ve got a good podcast in me, so press play and I’ll be eternally grateful!

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Fernão de Magalhães, or if you’re a lazy, uncultured American, Ferdinand Magellan. He probably isn’t a historical figure to whom you’ve dedicated much thought lately, or, you know, ever. Magalhães’s life and achievements may not make themselves felt in your day to day life, but there’s no denying he impacted history in a significant way. The benefits or harms of that impact, however, are, like literally everything else about history, the subject of impassioned debate. Hence Magellan, a 2025 historical epic directed by Lav Diaz, a man with some pretty strong opinions on this Portuguese navigator, opinions which he rendered across almost three hours of a movie that, if nothing else, is uncompromising in its vision. This laconic, lethargic tale of colonization and violation earned little in the way of cash or broad popular notice, but the reviews were strong and Nathan thought it would be funny to review a movie which kind of shares this program’s name. But will the movie successfully circumnavigate the globe of quality and arrive safely at home to a rapturous welcome, or will it take an arrow to the face from the enraged natives of boredom and self-righteousness? Unfurl the sails and embark with the second-most well known Magellans to find out!

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