Who among us has never heard of a man or woman who wanted to be in the movies? Movie stardom is a siren call for dreamers and doofuses the world over, for who wouldn’t want to live the dream of bitter divorces, loss of privacy, and opening a door fifty times to get the perfect shot for a pretentious director? Perhaps that’s why Buster Keaton double dipped in his 1924 comedy Sherlock Jr., home of one of the most memorable screen-jumping moments in cinematic history. Like so much of Keaton’s early filmography, Sherlock Jr. is considered a timeless classic, but it has yet to be considered by the discerning minds of Magellans at the Movies, so dust off your magnifying glass and keep a weather eye on your pocket watch as we review this silent cinematic standard.

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When people are killed, when children go missing, when affairs are had, the detectives of the world step in and smoke, deduce, analyze, smoke, gather clues, smoke, fight, smoke, and light up a cigarette in search of justice. What happens, however, when the detective swaps out a fondness for recreational cancer in favor of fine cuisine and even finer facial hair? Why, then you’d have the mighty moustached sleuth Hercule Poirot, ace investigator and star of numerous movies such as Murder on the Orient Express, a 2017 who-dun-it directed by Kenneth Branagh and based on the 1934 book by Agatha Christie. Murder was received with positive, if somewhat tepid reviews and a heaping helping of cash that spawned two more Christie adaptations by the same team, but those are mysteries for another day. For now, we have the Case of the Squabbling Siblings, and who is the perpetrator of this most ghastly crime against innocent ears? It’s Nathan and Elliot of Magellans at the Movies, of course! So, grab your nightly stache protector and your favorite Dickens and join us as we attempt to deduce the flaws and strengths of this steam engine enigma.

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How much do you really know about your next door neighbor? I know that Greg might seem like an affable old man who putters around the garden and gives out carrot sticks on Halloween, but haven’t you ever considered that he might be a shape shifting alien with sinister designs not just on you, but the world entire? Enough about my contentious relationship with my local HOA, however, let’s talk movies, specifically The Thing, a 2011 science fiction horror movie directed by Matthis van Heijningen. This prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 classic of the same name tells the tale of the ill-fated Norwegian outpost that was the first to fall to a malevolent alien parasite capable of assimilating and imitating all life, and it did so to less than stellar reviews. The Thing (2011) may have been a box office bomb and critical failure on release, but is it enough to satisfy first time watchers and original The Thing fans Nathan and Elliot of Magellans at the Movies? Keep your eye on Greg and listen on to find out!

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