What if the reason your heartbreak isn’t getting better isn’t because you haven’t tried hard enough to move on, but because there’s a part of it you still haven’t allowed yourself to feel?

I recently sat down with David Kessler, one of the world’s leading experts on grief, and something he said stopped me in my tracks: “You don’t have a broken mind. You have a broken heart.”

We spend so much time trying to think our way out of heartbreak. We compare our pain to other people’s. We distract ourselves. We turn sadness into anger. We tell ourselves we should be over it by now. But underneath all of that may be grief we’ve never really attended to.

And I know that because, during this conversation, David helped me recognize some of my own.

In this episode, we talk about why heartbreak is a form of grief, what anger may actually be protecting us from, and why avoiding painful emotions can sometimes keep us stuck in them for much longer.

Most importantly, we talk about what it looks like to actually show up for yourself in those moments with more compassion and a kinder internal voice.

You may not be able to change what broke your heart. But you can change how you meet yourself in the pain that follows.

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►► Want to Feel More in Control of How You Respond to Difficult Emotions? Join Me for The CALM Process, LIVE Online September 29–October 1: 3DayCalm.com

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Have you ever noticed that the moment someone starts pulling away, you suddenly want them more?

Maybe they’re taking longer to reply. Their texts are getting shorter. Or they haven’t made plans to see you again. Nothing has actually happened, but you can feel that something has changed.

And suddenly, someone you were still figuring out becomes the person you can’t stop thinking about.

Before you know it, the question has changed from “Do I actually want this person?” to “How do I get them to want me again?”

Why does that shift happen? And why can not knowing where you stand feel even more painful than being rejected?

In this week’s video, I break down what’s really happening in these moments, and I sit down with Gabby Bernstein to talk about why distance can trigger such an intense reaction in us, and how to stop it from taking over.

Because sometimes, the person pulling away isn’t the real reason it hurts this much.

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Have you ever realized that you’re the one keeping a relationship alive?

You’re the one who reaches out. The one who checks in. The one who remembers, helps, gives, and shows up. And after a while, instead of feeling generous, you start feeling resentful.

We often think the answer is to get the other person to give more. But what happens when they don’t?

In this episode, I talk about why sometimes the only way to stop the resentment is to start giving less—and why doing that can be much harder than it sounds. Because when you stop propping up a relationship, you may discover just how much of it was being held together by you.

And then comes the part we don’t talk about enough: the guilt of pulling back, the fear of losing someone you love, and the grief of realizing the relationship may never be what you hoped it was.

Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or someone else you love deeply, this episode is about finding a new way to love someone without constantly draining yourself to keep the relationship going.

►► ►► Take Back Control When Your Emotions Take Over. Join Me LIVE Online for The CALM Process, My 3-Day Experience (September 29–October 1): 3DayCalm.com

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