Classical violinist, Matthew Castle, describes growing up in a cloistered echo chamber of blind obedience, misogyny, high control, “us versus them,” and feeling like, “I never fit in…” to the culture of constant judgement. As a teen, he recognized that he was attracted to men, which cult leaders considered “the worst sin”. Over time, he saw, “I had to either completely repress myself, or I was going to have to leave.”

Listen to learn the series of painful events, including a “conversion therapy” conference, that all contributed to him “leaving my entire life, everyone I’d known,” with a duffle bag and his violin at 18. But also listen to hear about his triumphs, and how instrumental music, specifically, catalyzes healing for him. He also shares recovery wisdom for others currently taking their lives back from abusive relational systems.

Trigger Warning: Due to these episodes containing stories that involve cults and other types of coercive control that may be disturbing to some, listener discretion is advised.

Find Matthew at paulcastlestudio.com and at Matthew & Paul (Instagram / Facebook / TikTok).

Mentioned in this episode: Shiny Happy People documentary

You can find Living Cult Free on social media, especially on Instagram, at livingcultfree Our website is livingcultfree.com. The mission of Living Cult Free is to highlight survivor voices, strengthen self-agency, and provide education that builds resilience against coercion and abuse.

At the website above, you can:

• Contact us to share your story
• Meet who runs and collaborates with Living Cult Free
• Make a donation to help further Living Cult Free’s mission

Thank you for your support!

©2026 Living Cult Free

Intro & outro by Jon Snow; Original Music by Esther Friedman

Editing and production by Vanessa Hennessey

Huge thanks to Living Cult Free’s intern, Nikki Kattamuri, and the Living Cult Free Board of Directors.

Music and sound:

European Archive and Li-Mei via Musopen

Ashot Danielyan, Danny Ballan, folk_acoustic_music, freesound_community, Sergii Pavkin via Pixabay

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of Living Cult Free. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. The Living Cult Free name and all forms and abbreviations are the property of its owner and its use does not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.

In this episode, we speak with author and survivor Beth Granger, who spent 30 years inside a Canadian boarding school that functioned as a hidden cult. She shares her experiences with coercive control, public shaming, family separation, and religious trauma, along with the difficult, non-linear reality of healing.
Beth also discusses the landmark class action lawsuit she helped lead—the first historical abuse case to win at trial in Canada—and reflects on its personal cost and impact. She explains how writing her memoir, Born and Razed, became a key part of her recovery. This conversation explores not just survival, but what it takes to rebuild a life, reclaim identity, and turn personal truth into meaningful change.

Check out Beth's social media and website here and check out her book, Born and Razed, here.

Trigger Warning: Due to these episodes containing stories that involve cults and other types of coercive control that may be disturbing to some, listener discretion is advised.

You can find Living Cult Free on social media, especially on Instagram, at livingcultfree Our website is livingcultfree.com. The mission of Living Cult Free is to highlight survivor voices, strengthen self-agency, and provide education that builds resilience against coercion and abuse.

At the website above, you can:

• Contact us to share your story
• Meet who runs and collaborates with Living Cult Free
• Make a donation to help further Living Cult Free’s mission

Thank you for your support!

©2026 Living Cult Free

Intro & outro by Jon Snow; Original Music by Esther Friedman

Editing and production by Vanessa Hennessey

Huge thanks to Living Cult Free’s intern, Nikki Kattamuri, and the Living Cult Free Board of Directors; as well as Erica A. Slauson for her help with transcription.

Music and sound found on Pixabay, by:

Dream-Protocol, DSTechnician, Everything_is_dead, Juan Sanchez, Kimberly Campbell, Leigh Robinson, Paul Winter, Sergii Pavkin

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of Living Cult Free. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. The Living Cult Free name and all forms and abbreviations are the property of its owner and its use does not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.

When a cult leader put his towel next to Hoyt’s on a beach in Nantucket, the then 16 year old’s life changed dramatically as he was slowly drawn deeper and deeper in. This is a story of coercive control that took over everything, how he ultimately escaped, and reclaimed what was stolen from him - including his connection to the love of his life.

Find Hoyt at his Instagram and catch the documentary featuring Hoyt on HBO!

You can find Living Cult Free on social media, especially on Instagram, at livingcultfree Our website is livingcultfree.com where the mission is to support the creative expression of survivor stories and empower advocacy through education.

At the website above, you can:

• Contact us to share your story
• Meet who runs and collaborates with Living Cult Free
• Make a donation to help further Living Cult Free’s mission

Thank you for your support!

©2026 Living Cult Free

Intro & outro by Jon Snow; Original Music by Esther Friedman

Editing and production by Vanessa Hennessey

Huge thanks to Living Cult Free’s intern, Nikki Kattamuri, and the Living Cult Free Board of Directors.

Music and sound by: Anton Vlasov, Clavier-Music, Deane Patterson, Dvir Silverstone, Freesound_community, Leonid Timachev, Michael Koreli, Music-for-Videos, NiKneT_Art, Spin Opel, Universfield, Zec53

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of Living Cult Free. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. The Living Cult Free name and all forms and abbreviations are the property of its owner and its use does not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.