"Don't let people bully you about your grief. You take as much time as you need." —Ally Dalsimer

Inner fabulosity — the idea that you're worthy and whole even on the days you can barely tread water — is the heart of this conversation with award-winning author and speaker Ally Dalsimer.
Ally lost her husband to cancer eleven years ago, and in this episode, she walks through what actually happened after: the job loss, a failed run for Congress, caring for a dying mother, and the morning she realized no one needed her to get out of bed.
This episode is for anyone grieving a spouse, parent, or child, and for anyone who's been told — directly or not — that they should be "over it" by now. Ally is candid about how long healing took her, how she helped her two kids process losing their father, and how she eventually rebuilt a life around writing, speaking, and a philosophy she calls inner fabulosity.
Key takeaways:
• Grief has no universal timeline — it took Ally almost ten years before she could speak about her husband without crying, and she insists that's neither too long nor too short.
• Kids process loss differently than adults because they lack the cognitive tools to name what they're feeling, so patience matters more than explanations.
• Trying to "solve" a grieving person's pain often backfires; listening without offering solutions is usually the more supportive move.
• Small, repeatable actions — Ally's rule was doing just three things a day — can rebuild a sense of purpose faster than waiting to "feel ready."
• Telling someone their grief has an expiration date is one of the most damaging things you can say to a person in mourning.
• Running for public office, even in a losing campaign, gave Ally proof that she was capable of far more than she believed.
Listen to the full conversation and subscribe to Live, Love, Survive, Thrive for more real stories on healing, resilience, and rediscovering purpose after loss.

Connect with Dr. Kimberly:
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Episode Highlights:
04:07 Meet Ally Dalsimer
06:03 What "Inner Fabulosity" Really Means
08:16 Losing Her Husband: The Full Grief Story
15:02 Helping Her Kids Grieve Without Fixing Them
21:12 Grief as a Child vs. Grief as an Adult
24:20 Running for Congress While Grieving
27:20 Advice for Someone New to Grief
40:31 Where to Find Ally and Her Podcast
40:50 Ally's Favorite Plant-Based Recipe

Resources:
Get Ally's Book
📖 It's Okay Not to be Fabulous Every Day: A Journey to Self-Discovery

Get Kim's Books
📖Grid: Once in a Lifetime You Get to Start Over
📖Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!

Thank you for listening.
To keep my podcast alive,
Wanna buy my dog Dakota a bone?
☕️https://buymeacoffee.com/livelovesurvivethrive

"Let some time dictate what you need to do. Let yourself grieve." —Tina O'Keeffe

Decluttering after loss isn't about trash bags and deadlines — it's about timing, permission, and grief you can't rush. In this episode, Dr. Kimberly Hubenette sits down with Tina O'Keeffe, founder of Stow and Behold and a professional organizer of 13 years, to unpack what actually happens when someone tries to clear out a home after a death, a move, or years of quiet accumulation.
Tina's path started far from organizing — in copywriting, grant writing, and two years in the Peace Corps — before a chance conversation at a Women Entrepreneurs conference in 2005 changed her direction. She's since become a go-to voice for senior downsizing, hoarding intervention, and the emotional side of letting go, and she's now helping launch the Hoarding Alliance of Long Island to connect families with the right support.
This conversation is for anyone standing in a closet full of someone else's things, unsure what to keep, what to give away, and when it's okay to decide. Tina explains why sentimental items should be the last thing tackled, not the first, and why grief has its own timeline that no calendar or well-meaning relative can override.
Key Takeaways:
• Sentimental items — photos, letters, keepsakes — should be handled last, not first, because they carry the most emotional weight.
• Grief-driven shopping sprees, what Tina calls the "widow habit," often fill an emotional gap rather than a practical need.
• Roughly 80% of what Tina removes from a home gets donated, which helps clients feel their items are still useful rather than discarded.
• No one else — not an adult child, not a spouse — gets to decide when someone else is ready to let go of a loved one's belongings.
• Preserving and relocating an item is a valid middle ground between keeping it out and getting rid of it entirely.
• Organizing for seniors often means keeping things visible and accessible, not hidden away, to protect their independence.
• Ready to rethink how you approach the stuff that's been sitting untouched? Listen to the full conversation.

Connect with Dr. Kimberly:
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Facebook
YouTube
Pinterest
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Episode Highlights:
05:21 Meet Tina O'Keeffe: From Peace Corps to Professional Organizer
08:48 Why Organizing Isn't About the Stuff — It's About the Story
13:00 When Family Pushes Faster Than a Loved One Is Ready
17:22 The "Widow Habit": Grief-Driven Shopping Explained
22:51 Organizing to the Client's Needs, Not Your Own
32:31 The Mantras That Get Her Through the Hardest Rooms
38:01 Do No Harm: Helping Hesitant Clients Take the First Step
44:37 Ending the Shame Around Hoarding and Disorganization
48:00 Free Consultations, Zoom Sessions, and Where to Find Tina

Resources:
Get Kim's Books
📖Grid: Once in a Lifetime You Get to Start Over
📖Live, Love, Survive, Thrive!

Thank you for listening.
To keep my podcast alive,
Wanna buy my dog Dakota a bone?
☕️https://buymeacoffee.com/livelovesurvivethrive