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What do you do when your partner comes out as asexual and you have a high sex drive? How do you get in the mood when life feels like an endless to-do list? In this listener Q&A episode of Sex for Couples, I’m answering your questions as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. We explore mismatched desire, different ways to experience intimacy, and how to stay curious about your options when your sex life takes an unexpected turn.

I also discuss how hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can influence libido—and why hormones aren’t the whole picture. Plus, I share my advice for building a satisfying relationship from the beginning, including talking openly about sex, maintaining your individuality, and bringing more playfulness into your connection. Whether you’re navigating a desire discrepancy or simply feeling too busy for intimacy, this episode offers starting points for less pressure and more connection.

In this episode, we cover:

• Navigating a relationship with an asexual partner, including conversations about boundaries, sexual needs, and shared intimacy.
• Why persistent, painful arousal deserves medical attention—and exploring the emotional needs that can accompany a desire for sex.
• Making room for intimacy when you’re overwhelmed, with mental foreplay, responsive desire, and small moments of connection.
• How menstrual cycles and life stages such as breastfeeding and perimenopause can affect sexual desire.
• Talking about sexual preferences and giving feedback in a positive, playful way—including trying a “kissing lab.”
• Keeping curiosity and attraction alive through individuality, novelty, emotional honesty, and a shared willingness to grow.

Want personalized support with your sex life or relationship? Reach out to explore coaching with me at https://HeatherShannon.co