SMART Recovery Family & Friends: Boundaries, Self-Compassion, and Healthy Hope

Host Jennifer Randall-Young introduces The Life with an Alcoholic, focused on supporting women affected by a loved one’s drinking, then interviews Pete Rubenis, CEO of SMART Recovery USA. Pete explains SMART’s scope (nearly 1,500 U.S. meetings, including family and friends groups), his personal decision to end his relationship with alcohol in 2017, and why SMART’s evidence-based, secular CBT/motivational approach and empowering language appealed to him. They discuss the difference between productive vs. counterproductive helping (often labeled “enabling”), emphasizing self-compassion, capacity-building, and tools for clearer communication and boundaries as self-care rather than rules or ultimatums. Grief is acknowledged as normal but often better processed with professionals. Pete describes “healthy hope” as realistic expectations about behavior change and lapse, and he cautions against stigmatizing labels like “alcoholic.” He directs listeners to smartrecovery.org, the meeting finder, the app, and the Family & Friends handbook and worksheets.

Damian & Alisha: 20 Years of Addiction, 6 Years Sober—Rebuilding Marriage, Trust & Recovery Together

Damian Bloss shares how he spent 20 years in active addiction before getting sober six years ago, and his wife Alisha explains what it was like living through the first 10 years of their 16-year relationship while he drank and how she became numb, built a wall, and considered leaving until the day he told her he was going to Ashley Treatment Center—both of their “rock bottoms.” They discuss how Ashley’s family weekend included spouses in education and counseling, helped them understand addiction and mental health, and taught the difference between support and enabling. After rehab, they had to relearn each other, navigate triggers, communicate gently, rebuild trust and accountability during COVID, and accept that sobriety alone doesn’t fix everything. Damian emphasizes doing the work, trauma therapy, and that recovery isn’t one size fits all, and they share how to follow “Breaking the Silence” and Damian’s books.

00:00 Meet Damian and Alisha

00:55 Their Recovery Journey

02:19 Stay or Leave Dilemma

02:54 Alisha Hits Rock Bottom

04:59 Rehab and Family Support

06:23 Ashley Treatment Center Difference

08:44 Family Weekend Lessons

12:20 Spouse Side of Recovery

13:56 Fixer Mindset and Guilt

16:23 Walls Boundaries and Numbness

18:29 Enabling vs Boundaries

21:31 Living Together in Recovery

22:47 Triggers and Boundaries

24:19 Gentle Communication Skills

26:18 Reentry During COVID

28:05 Trust When Returning to Work

31:41 Sober Does Not Fix All

33:46 Doing the Inner Work

36:55 Accountability and Tracking

39:22 Resources Books and Farewell

For more resources and tools;

Life With app
https://www.thelifewith.app/
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/life-with-an-alcoholic/id6761145430

Life With: an Alcoholic

Impossible Choice Action Guide

https://impossiblechoice.co/action

Clearly Together
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/clearly-together/id6782741136

Clearly Together

Your FREE Reality Check;

https://yourrealitycheck.lovable.app

How to Set Boundaries When You’re Staying with an Alcoholic (Without Ultimatums)

Jennifer Randall Young, host of The Life with an Alcoholic, speaks to women who aren’t leaving an alcoholic partner right now and want to stay without losing themselves. She reframes boundaries as decisions about your own behavior—not ultimatums, rules for him, or agreements dependent on his cooperation—and explains why common approaches fail (emotional arguments, conditional warnings, and boundaries based on his compliance). She offers a three-part boundary framework: make a clear internal decision, use a short repeatable script, and follow through consistently even when there is pushback. She shares key boundary examples (no serious conversations when he’s been drinking, stop managing his emotions, stop covering for him, protect sleep, and reclaim emotional energy) and assigns a 48-hour “one boundary” exercise. She also mentions her six-module action guide, The Impossible Choice.

00:00 Staying For Now

01:32 Boundaries Without Leaving

03:12 What Boundaries Are

05:12 Why Past Boundaries Fail

07:39 Three Part Framework

07:50 Decision And Script

10:27 Follow Through And Pushback

11:57 Boundaries That Matter Most

14:08 48 Hour Quick Win

15:57 Tools And Closing Encouragement

For more resources and tools;

Life With app
https://www.thelifewith.com/

Impossible Choice Action Guide

https://impossiblechoice.co/action

[COMING SOON] Impossible Choice app

Your FREE Reality Check;

https://yourrealitycheck.lovable.app