During my 5 brutal years of insomnia, my whole life got smaller.

I stopped making plans. I stopped doing things I enjoy. And a couple of hours of work tired me out completely. I was burned out all the time. I also used to hate just thinking about going to bed at night.

It made complete sense to me back then. When you barely sleep, you don't feel like going out. You don't feel like hitting the gym. You don't feel like seeing friends.

So during insomnia we self-isolate. We stop meeting friends and family. We stop doing the things we want. We stop our hobbies.

Why that makes the nights worse

Every time we cut something out, our life gets a little more about sleep. And when your life is all about sleep, every single night turns into a test you have to pass.

Your brain reads that pressure as danger. So the alarm in your brain stays switched on. And that alarm is the exact thing keeping you awake at night.

Because the fear we carry all day is exactly what keeps that alarm going. It's sitting there waiting for you the moment your head hits the pillow.

It also builds our insomniac identity. We start to believe we are insomniacs. That we're broken. That we're going to be like this forever.

So the smaller my life got, the bigger my insomnia got.

Get your life back first

For years I was waiting to sleep normally again before I would start living again. It works the other way around. That's why the real work of fixing insomnia happens during the day.

You get your life back first, with the fatigue and all. The pressure comes off your nights. The alarm in your brain starts to switch off. And then sleep comes back on its own.

So say yes to the dinner. Go to the gym tired. Make the plans. Book the trip. I hated sleeping in a hotel bed for most of those 5 years, so I know exactly what I'm asking here.

Yes it sucks when you're running on a few hours. But it's 100% doable, and I promise you it's nowhere near as bad as your morning brain tells you it's going to be.

Every time you go anyway, you show your brain that your life doesn't depend on last night.

What about coffee and alcohol?

A lot of people give up coffee and alcohol completely because of insomnia. I understand why. When you're desperate, you try everything.

You can have your coffee in the morning. That's fine. It won't stop you from recovering. Just don't take any after noon while your nervous system is still on high alert.

I love Diet Coke and that one kept me awake at night too as it has caffeine, so I treat it the same way.

Alcohol is a different story. A drink with friends is fine. Drinking to fall asleep is a sleep effort, and every night you drink to sleep, you teach your brain that sleep needs help. That belief keeps the alarm switched on.

It also knocks you out at the start, which feels like a win. Then a few hours later your body works through it and it breaks up the second half of your night. And the next day you feel like crap.

So keep the drinks social, and keep them light while you're working on this.

Your challenge this week

Pick one thing insomnia took from you. The gym, dinner with friends, a trip, whatever it is for you.

Put it back this week. Do it tired if you have to.

That's how you teach the alarm in your brain that there's nothing to protect. And once that alarm comes down, sleep takes care of itself.

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To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I've now coached 100s like you to end their insomnia for good, 100% naturally, by fixing the root cause: hyper-arousal.