I’ve declared September and October my money months. Underneath the goal to earn more, there’s something much more personal going on. My income has started fucking with the way I see myself.

In this episode, I talk honestly about moving from financial independence to becoming a stay-at-home dad while Nic’s career continued to grow. I love being deeply involved in Winter’s life, but fatherhood has also cost me time, momentum and parts of my own identity. That’s left me sitting inside a strange mixture of gratitude, resentment, shame and ambition.

If I’m contributing massively as a father but I’m not contributing enough financially, why does part of me still feel like I’m failing?

I don’t have a neat answer. This is where I’m at, what money has come to represent for me and why it’s time to start moving my own life forward again.

Work with me: https://tommykende.com/work-with-me

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The nanny’s back, which means the podcast is back.

After two weeks of full-time dad mode, I started thinking about how quickly life fills every available space and how easy it is to blame your circumstances when you’re not moving towards what you say you want.

This episode is about the difference between wanting something and genuinely choosing it. We get into Current Reality, Vision, the uncomfortable gap between the two, and all the intelligent-sounding bullshit your ego uses to shrink the Vision and retreat to what feels familiar.

I also talk about observing the obvious, building the Bridge through one honest action, and why confidence turns up after you move.

Nobody is coming to save you or choose your life for you.

You are the chosen one because you’re the one who has to make the fucking choice.

If you’re ready to explore what you’re choosing and what keeps getting in the way, work with me here:

https://tommykende.com/work-with-me

Get in Touch with Tommy

Becoming a dad has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. It’s also challenged my identity, career, freedom, friendships, relationship and sense of purpose.

In Episode 12 of Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff, I talk honestly about loving fatherhood while still missing parts of my old life. I share what it was like becoming a stay-at-home dad, losing touch with my own purpose and eventually realising that being a great parent shouldn’t require you to completely disappear.

In this episode:

• Loving your child while finding parenthood bloody hard
• Missing your old freedom without feeling guilty about it
• Losing your identity and purpose after becoming a parent
• The conversations couples need to have about time and money
• Rebuilding your own life while still showing up for your family
• Becoming more present by taking better care of yourself

Your child needs you. They also need the real version of you.

This one gets pretty fucking honest.

Subscribe for more conversations about life, relationships, identity, fatherhood and untangling the stories that keep you stuck.

https://tommykende.com

Get in Touch with Tommy