When Helen Bender's doctor told her the cancer was gone, she expected to feel happy. Instead, she slept 16 hours that night and cried in the shower. Bender first shared her story of stage 4 melanoma in Episode 33, "Feeling So Alive with Helen Bender," one of the most popular episodes of The Cancering Show. Four years later, she returns to catch up with Dr. JYP about life after treatment.

The moment she described captures much of what survivorship has meant for Bender. Emotions she set aside during two years of treatment returned once it ended, and she has learned to let them come. She still thinks about melanoma several times a day, but over the past year, those thoughts have shifted from fear to peace. She also shares the routine she uses to protect her skin and the work she does through Healing with Helen, her Instagram and TikTok accounts for patients and families facing melanoma.

Bender is careful to limit what she offers her social media followers. When followers share photos of their moles, for instance, she reminds them she is not a medical professional. Her screening routine reflects her own history, and listeners should ask their care team what schedule is right for them. For her own recovery, Bender credits the medicine and the doctors behind it, along with the prayers said by everyone who supported her.

Relevant Links

Healing with Helen on Instagram

Healing with Helen on TikTok

Episode 33: Feeling So Alive with Helen Bender

Submit your questions for the show at cancering.com

3 Key Listener Takeaways

1. Survivorship can be harder than expected.

Bender expected to feel relief when treatment ended. Instead, the feelings she had held back for two years caught up with her, and the news that her cancer was gone left her emotional and exhausted. Dr. JYP offers a comparison she once heard: "Suppressing those feelings is like holding a volleyball underwater. It takes enormous energy, and the moment you let go, everything comes up at once." Bender's advice to anyone in treatment is to allow yourself to feel those emotions as they arrive.

2. Healthy habits do not have to be perfect.

Bender eats healthy when she can and has signed up for meal services, but she still skips the occasional workout and enjoys foods she knows aren't the best. She remembers her grandmother showing up during her treatment with what felt like 100 smoothies. Dr. JYP says many patients leave treatment believing they must follow a strict plan to prevent "something bad" from happening. The better course is finding a middle ground that is sustainable.

3. Know your skin and keep up with checkups.

Bender checks her skin every time she showers and studies her hands and legs during phone calls so she will notice new spots. She prefers to see a dermatologist every three months, though she tells others that every six months is a more reasonable goal. She covers her exposed skin with sunscreen each day and reapplies before her 30- to 40-minute drive home, because the sun's rays reach through car windows. Her story has also made a difference close to home. After Bender's diagnosis, her sister-in-law saw a dermatologist, who found and removed a melanoma before it spread.

Show Overview

00:00 Helen Bender looks back

02:06 Why survivorship was harder than she expected

02:59 The day she learned her cancer was gone

05:51 Life after cancer and healthy habits

07:41 Living with the fear of recurrence

11:17 Letting hard emotions surface

14:00 Helping others through her story

15:37 Her daily skin protection routine

16:41 Hopes for the next five years

18:27 Healing with Helen on Instagram and TikTok

22:10 Dr. JYP's reflections