『Letting Go of the Need for Closure: Why Life's Biggest Problems Can Only Be Outgrown [292]』のカバーアート

Letting Go of the Need for Closure: Why Life's Biggest Problems Can Only Be Outgrown [292]

Letting Go of the Need for Closure: Why Life's Biggest Problems Can Only Be Outgrown [292]

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概要
 Closure often feels like it should be the goal when we're dealing with grief or going through a tough time. But what if closure is actually a myth and the pressure to "get over it," "fix it," or emerge as a better version of ourselves is doing more harm than good? In this episode, we dig into the myth of closure: the mistaken belief that complex losses and life problems should be processed into some kind of clean, final resolution. We explore why closure is appealing but often not possible, what Carl Jung and Pauline Boss say about insoluble problems and ambiguous loss, and what it actually means to find healing and growth without closure. Ready to take action? Learn more about Experiments here. Related Episodes: Start of our Grief Series. ep. 248: Grief, Growth & The Wholeness of Being Human (Grief Recovery & Healing Series part 1) About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating. Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North. Full transcript here Questions this episode was made for: Q: Is closure real? Can you ever really "get over" a significant loss? A: This episode explores why closure is more myth than reality for life's most significant losses, and why that's not a failure. Carl Jung argued that the most important problems in life are insoluble: they can't be solved, only outgrown; and Pauline Boss's work on ambiguous loss shows that some losses, by nature, never come to a clear resolution. And that's okay. Q: What should I reach for instead of closure after a loss? A: This episode discusses approaches like "continuing bonds," the idea that maintaining an evolving inner connection with what or who we've lost can be healthy and adaptive. The goal then is not closure but growth around the loss, holding both the love and the pain. Key moments: [00:00] The myth of closure [02:00] The myth of closure and perfection [04:00] How Kubler-Ross's stages of grief got distorted and Freud's decathexis [08:00] A drive for closure can lead us to avoid what is true [10:00] Carl Jung on insoluble problems [12:00] Holding opposites: making the best decision possible without actually solving the problem [14:00] The difference between closure and completion [16:00] The first law of thermodynamics applies to grief too [18:00] Continuing bonds theory (Klass, Silverman, Nickman) [20:00] Internalized vs. externalized bonds [22:00] Example with Alzheimer's diagnosis, the relentless nature of grief without closure [24:00] Pauline Boss and ambiguous loss: [26:00] Both/and thinking Sources and Notes for Our Element of Letting Go: Alloy & Abramson. (1979). Judgment of contingency in depressed and nondepressed students: Sadder but wiser? 10.1037//0096-3445.108.4.441Botvinick & Cohen. (1998). Rubber hands "feel" touch that eyes see. doi.org/10.1038/35784Clark & Radomsky (2014). Introduction: A global perspective on unwanted intrusive thoughts. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.001Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. G. P. Putnam's Sons.de Mello, A. (1990). Awareness. Doubleday.Epictetus. (2014). Discourses, fragments, handbook (R. Hard, Trans.). Oxford University Press. Feldman, et al. (2023). Interoceptive ability moderates the effect of physiological reactivity on social judgment. 10.1037/emo0001210 Freud, S. (1957). Mourning and melancholia. In J. Strachey (Ed. & Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14, pp. 243–258). Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1917)Gottlieb, L. (2019). Maybe you should talk to someone: A therapist, her therapist, and our lives revealed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Jung, C. G. (1962). Commentary. In R. Wilhelm (Trans.), The secret of the golden flower: A Chinese book of life (C. F. Baynes, Trans.; Rev. ed.). Harcourt, Brace & World. (Original work published 1929)Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (Eds.). (1996). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis.Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Macmillan.Langer, E. J. (1975). The illusion of control. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.32.2.311 Langer, E. J. (2009). Counterclockwise. Ballantine Books. Luo, M. (2004, February 27). For exercise in New York futility, push button. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/27/nyregion/for-exercise-in-new-york-futility-push-button.html MacCormack & Lindquis (2019). Feeling hangry? When hunger is conceptualized as emotion. 10.1037/emo0000422 Mauss, et al. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. doi.org/10.1037/a0022010 Morewedge, et al. (2010). Consuming experience: Why affective forecasters ...
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