What can Japanese parenting teach us about raising calm, capable kids?

This week, I'm talking with Lisa Katayama, author of The Japanese Way of Parenting: What It Taught Me About Raising Mostly Calm, Caring, Capable Kids.

Lisa was born and raised in Tokyo and now lives in Northern California. In our conversation, we talk about what stood out to her as she raised kids in the U.S. while drawing from the values she grew up with in Japan.

We discuss differences between American and Japanese parenting when it comes to independence, routines, choices, meals, cleanliness, self-care, and being on time. Lisa shares how Japanese culture often emphasizes structure, respect, and guiding kids in a way that helps family life feel calmer.

One of my favorite parts of this conversation is that it's not about finding one right way to parent. It's about noticing what resonates and taking what works for you and your family.

Lisa also shares practical ideas from her book, including the concept of douzo, a gentler way to offer and share, and why making parenting more playful can shift the tone at home.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/402

Have you ever been in a situation with your child where you can feel it escalating while it's happening?

They're getting more upset, you're talking more, explaining more, trying to get things back on track, and at the same time, you can tell it's not helping.

In this episode, I'm breaking down five common things moms do that feel right in the moment, but make things worse.

These are the patterns that escalate conflict, create power struggles, and leave you feeling frustrated, even when you're trying your best to handle things well.

I'll walk you through what's happening and what to do instead, so you can respond in ways that help things settle rather than making them bigger.

If you've ever walked away from a situation thinking, "Well, that didn't work," this episode will give you a different way to approach it.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/401

Four hundred episodes.

For this one, I did something I've never done before. I asked you to send in your parenting questions by voice message, and I answered them on the show.

This episode covers six real questions from moms in my community. We talk about things like a five-year-old's defiance and name-calling, feeling overwhelmed when everything feels urgent, high-conflict co-parenting exchanges, reacting to a teenager's phone calls, sibling rivalry, and disagreeing with a husband about consequences.

There's a good chance something in this episode will speak directly to what you're navigating.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/400

In today's episode, I'm sharing seven things loving moms do.

These are the same things I teach inside Damn Good Mama, and they're what help moms start showing up differently at home.

Of course, you love your kids deeply. But how do you show that love when your child is upset, pushing back, or not listening, and you can feel yourself getting pulled into a reaction you don't want?

I walk through each of the seven things with personal stories and real examples from clients, so you can see what this looks like in real life, not just in theory.

If you've ever struggled to show your love in those moments, this episode will help.

Your child is perfectly fine at home. Relaxed. Talkative. Maybe even sweet.

Then you show up at school, wave a little too enthusiastically, and suddenly you're getting an eye roll, a sharp "Mom, stop," or something worse, right in front of their friends.

When your child is rude to you in front of other people, it can leave you feeling embarrassed, hurt, and confused.

Learn why this happens (especially in the tween and teen years) and how to respond in a way that keeps you feeling calm, connected, and confident.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/398

Boys and girls move through the tween years very differently.

They handle friendships, express emotions, and start testing their independence each in their own ways. And if you don't know what to expect, it's easy to misread what's going on.

In this episode, the third in our tween series, I share what the research says about how tween boys and girls differ and what I saw firsthand as a therapist and school counselor. You'll hear about friendship patterns, emotional expression, academics, and what it looks like when your tween starts wanting more space.

Take what fits your child and leave what doesn't. When you understand what's underneath their behavior, you can respond in a way that supports what they need.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/397

The topic of puberty can feel intimidating for a lot of moms.

Between their child's mood swings, body changes, and sudden self-consciousness, many parents aren't quite sure what to expect or how to talk about it.

This episode addresses how you can support your child through this stage with more confidence.

Puberty is about much more than physical changes. It's emotional, social, and relational too. When you understand what's happening beneath the surface, it becomes much easier to respond calmly and stay connected to your child.

This episode will help you better understand what's happening during this stage and how to keep the lines of communication open with your tween.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/396

The tween years don't just change your child.

They change you.

Around ages 9 to 12, your child begins the important developmental work of identity formation. They start caring more about their friends, forming stronger opinions, and creating more space between you.

This shift can feel just as big for you as it does for them, and it requires a different kind of presence from you.

The moms who come out the other side of the tween years with strong relationships aren't the ones who hold on the tightest.

They're the ones who learn how to stay present and regulated while giving their kids room to grow.

Whether you're parenting a tween now, approaching this stage, or looking back with older kids, this episode will help you understand what's really happening.

https://lessdramamoremama.com/395