As Side B Christians, we’ve done a lot of discernment around the ethics, practice, and vocation of celibacy (celibacy = practicing sexual chastity as an unmarried person), including discernment around lifelong vows of celibacy. In our own journeys, we’ve uncovered myths we’ve believed and encountered myths in our Christian communities.

We argue that celibacy and mixed-orientation-marriages are included in Side B, we reject the idea that celibacy necessarily means loneliness in the kingdom of God, we challenge the view that celibacy is merely sexual repression, we explain how vows can add goods (clarity, focus, support), we critique assumptions that marriage is actually superior, we demystify superstitions regarding celibacy and sanctification, and we contend that celibacy is a public vocation worthy of communal celebration.

We’d love to hear what you think after you give a listen!

Key Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 19:4-5 “eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven”

1 Corinthians 7:9 “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

1 Corinthians 7:32–34 “an unmarried person is concerned about the Lord’s affairs”

Matthew 12:48-50 Who are my kin but “those who do the will of my Father?”

Hebrews 4:15 “tempted in every way common to man yet without sin”

Matthew 6:28 “lilies of the field”

Time Stamps:

00:00 Welcome to Kinship Lab 5

00:30 Why Celibacy Came Up

02:23 Myth 1: Celibacy as a Mandate

05:12 Marriage Paths and Barriers

07:03 Language Celibate vs Single

09:54 Myth 2: Celibacy is Loneliness

12:51 Single Mindedness and Freedom

17:03 Myth 3: Celibacy is Repression

21:07 Desire Struggle and 1 Corinthians 7

24:53 Marriage Is Not the Only Tool

25:59 Marriage Isn’t a Fix

26:24 Sexual Baggage in Marriage

27:10 Myth 4: Celibacy Vows Don’t Add Anything Good

33:24 Vows as Covenant Deepening

36:50 Myth 5: Marriage Is Actually Better Than Celibacy

40:48 Myth 6: Celibacy Vows Are a Level-Up

48:40 Myth 7: Celibacy Shouldn’t Be Celebrated Like Marriage

58:12 Kingdom Public Witness