When it comes to children and teenagers, their behaviour around bodies, boundaries, and sexuality can be complex — and often misunderstood.

- What’s normal curiosity?

- What’s problematic?

- And where does it cross into being harmful or even violent?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr Jennifer Allotey, forensic psychologist and social worker, to unpack these difficult questions. We discuss:

- The Hackett Continuum: a framework used in schools and safeguarding to assess behaviour.

- Why some behaviours should be seen as developmentally expected, while others require intervention.

- The role of consent, power, and context in understanding young people’s actions.

- The influence of the internet and technology on today’s behaviour.

- How schools, parents, and communities can respond without overreacting or labelling young people unfairly.

This is a vital conversation for anyone who cares about safeguarding, prevention, and helping young people navigate healthy development.

Resources mentioned in the podcast are below.

Centre of expertise on child sexual abuse - https://www.csacentre.org.uk

The AIM Project - https://aimproject.org.uk

Shore - https://shorespace.org.uk

Dr Jennifer Allotey information

Website - http://polaris-associates.co.uk/

Dr Jennifer Allotey is a Chartered Forensic Psychologist, Social Worker and Assistant Professor in Forensic Psychology. Jennifer's career began in children and families social work, including working within the family court arena, and time spent in fostering and adoption. Within her social work career, Jennifer specialised in assessment of risk and she went on to work in specialist services including NSPCC, Lucy Faithfull Foundation, and Safer Lives. Jennifer's specialist expertise in assessment and therapeutic interventions with children led to a role as the Clinical Lead for Harmful Sexual Behaviour within a Forensic Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (FCAMHS). Jennifer is now dual registered as a Social Worker and Forensic Psychologist, and she continues to work with both children and adults who have dispalyed harmful / offending behaviours, with a focus on sexual harm.

Jennifer's doctoral thesis explores experiences of adversity and trauma in children who have displayed harmful sexual behaviour and the focus throughout is sexual abuse prevention. Jennifer's research make recommendations for practice to support all professionals in their role in the prevention of child sexual abuse. Alongside her clinical practice, Jennifer provides consultation, supervision and training to professionals and delivers teaching as an Assistant Professor in Forensic Psychology at the University of Nottingham.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonnie Blue has built a huge following — and makes over £1 million a month — by leaning into schoolgirl and “barely legal” fantasies. But why are these themes so popular, why do they spread so easily on social media, and what does her success say about us as a society?

In this episode, I explore:

- How Bonnie Blue “cracked the code” of algorithms

- Why outrage and support both fuel her rise

- The dangers of normalising virginity and “barely legal” fantasies

- What this means for young people seeing her content online

- Why platforms suppress survivor stories but let this go viral

This is not about shaming anyone's decisions — it’s about asking the bigger question: what can we learn from Bonnie Blue’s rise, and what does it reveal about our culture today?

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Links mentioned below.

The clip I reviewed - https://youtu.be/moJ59Po9aPE?si=Qj_zqt6PigsRv7Eq

The full Mikhaila Peterson podcast - https://youtu.be/4qZoJooGHfY?si=fBDmQZcopePXto8j

The Teen Corn podcast that I mentioned in video - https://youtu.be/C_enOcVeTTw?si=OKaq9gXBhIbNwV07

Why didn’t the government act sooner? For years, concerns have been raised about the easy access young people have to online porn — and the potential impact it’s having on their developing brains. Now, new laws are finally being introduced in the UK to block under-18s from these sites.

But is it too late?

In this episode, we explore:

- The psychological and neurological effects of porn consumption

- How desensitisation and escalation can lead to more extreme content

- The links between compulsive porn use and real-world harm

- Why action to protect young people has taken so long

Watch until the end as we discuss the government’s latest move and whether it can undo the damage that may already have been done to today’s generation.

What do you think — did the UK wait too long?

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I speak with Dr. Angela Tan about how to talk to children and young people about their bodies, consent, personal boundaries, and safety. It’s an honest, respectful, and practical conversation to help parents, teachers, and anyone working with children feel more confident navigating these tough — but essential — topics. Because if we don’t talk to them, someone else will… and that person may not have their best interests at heart.

Dr. Angela Tan is a family physician, sexual wellness specialist, and Medical Director of Reiwa Health, with over 16 years of experience in both medical practice and professional coaching.

As a parent herself, Angela understands the emotional complexities of raising tweens and teens. She has conducted sex education workshops in schools and coached parents on how to talk about growing bodies, emotions, and relationships with confidence and care.

Her work goes beyond information-sharing—Angela helps parents build trust and emotional safety through vulnerability, so they can stay connected to their children through every stage of adolescence. She believes that meaningful sex education starts with honest conversations at home, where kids feel seen, safe, and supported.

Dr. Angela Tan's links below.

Website: www.reiwahealth.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-angela-tan/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/reiwa.apt/

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This convicted child abuser speaks openly about what makes a child vulnerable to abuse - and I don’t think you’ll be surprised.

Because deep down, these are all things that we already know - but make us feel uncomfortable to face.

I don’t want to give this man praise, but he is giving us something truly valuable here and I don’t want you to miss it - especially if you have children yourself.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

YouTube link - https://youtu.be/yDLzgpEbGOA

What do you say to a room full of 13-year-olds about abuse, secrets and speaking up?

In this powerful live talk, I speak directly to Year 8 students about how abuse often doesn’t look like violence — and why speaking up matters. Using real-life stories, questions, and interactive moments, this session helps young people understand grooming, recognise their own coping mechanisms, and feel more confident asking for help.

This video isn’t just for students — it’s for the adults who care about them. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or survivor, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how to talk to young people about abuse in a way that’s honest, clear and age-appropriate.

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Links I've mentioned in the podcast below.

1. What Is Harmful Sexual Behaviour?

NSPCC Learning – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour

CSA Centre – https://www.csacentre.org.uk/resources/key-messages/harmful-sexual-behaviour/

Lucy Faithfull Foundation - https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/harmful-sexual-behaviour.htm

2. The Continuum of Sexual Behaviours

NSPCC – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/2522/harmful-sexual-behaviour-framework.pdf

Hackett’s Continuum (via ICMEC Guide) - https://www.icmec.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Hackett-Continuum.pdf

Queensland Health – https://www.childrens.health.qld.gov.au/wp-content/uploads/PDF/hsc-sexual-behaviours-traffic-light-guide.pdf

3. 🧒 Age-Appropriate Sexual Behaviour

Stop It Now – https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/concerned-about-a-childs-sexual-behaviour/

HealthyChildren.org – https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/Pages/Sexual-Behavior-in-Young-Children.aspx

Raising Children Network – https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/sexual-behaviour-children

4. 🚨 When to Be Concerned

NSPCC – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/leaflets/harmful-sexual-behaviour

NCSBY Fact Sheet - https://www.ncsby.org/sites/default/files/Problematic_Sexual_Behavior_Fact_Sheet.pdf

PCAR – https://www.pcar.org/sites/default/files/pages-pdf/Understanding_Childrens_Sexual_Behavior.pdf

5. 🛠️ Responding to HSB

NSPCC – https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour/responding-to-hsb

Lucy Faithfull Foundation – https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/advice-for-professionals.htm

In this episode, we explore a difficult but essential topic: harmful sexual behaviour (HSB) among minors.

Using real-world examples, expert-backed definitions, and resources from trusted organisations (like the Lucy Faithful Foundation, NSPCC, and the Centre of Expertise on CSA), we break down:

- What HSB actually is

- The traffic light continuum: green, amber, red behaviours

- Age-appropriate vs. concerning behaviour

- Red flags to look out for

- How to respond – as a parent or professional

Whether you're a teacher, social worker, or parent, this episode will help you better understand HSB, avoid panic, and respond with confidence, calm, and care.

Watch/listen and learn how to assess situations and take action that protects children — not punishes them.

📌 Resources mentioned in this episode are linked in the description.

🔔 Don't forget to hit the bell to be notified when new episodes drop.

💬 Leave a comment – your thoughts matter and might help someone

#HarmfulSexualBehaviour #SafeguardingChildren #ParentingPodcast #CSAprevention #JeremyIndika #SomethingToSay

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A new study found that 1 in 6 men admit feeling sexual attraction to children — including teenagers under the age of 18.

In this episode, I break down the findings, challenge the stereotypes about who offenders are, and explore what this means for how we protect children and teens today.

Too often, we imagine offenders as “creepy strangers” or people we’d spot a mile off. But the reality is more complex — and more uncomfortable. If we don’t understand that, we can’t keep children safe.

This episode isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. It’s about honesty. And it’s about pushing this conversation out of the shadows and into the light.

Watch. Share. Discuss.

Your comments, likes, and shares help push this content into more people’s feeds — and right now, this topic is being buried.

Support the podcast:

– Like

– Comment

– Subscribe

– Share it in your group chats

Links to the website and research document that I review in this episode.

Website - https://theconversation.com/a-survey-found-1-in-6-men-admit-sexual-feelings-for-children-so-is-paedophilia-increasing-218124

Research document - https://www.humanrights.unsw.edu.au/sites/default/files/documents/Identifying%20and%20understanding%20child%20sexual%20offending%20behaviour%20and%20attitudes%20among%20Australian%20men.pdf

Below are my links

Website: https://jeremyindika.com

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

To support

Merchandise: https://somethingtosayofficial.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SomethingtoSay

Donate: https://jeremyindika.com/donate/

Social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremyindika1

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremyindika

X: https://x.com/jeremyindika

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-indika-31673573/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndika

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast

Something to Say links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

Podcast: https://shows.acast.com/the-something-to-say-podcast-1

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.