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🎧 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down the 3 stages of jealousy that sabotage emotional security—and how to work through them.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in spirals, constantly checking your partner’s phone, or craving reassurance just to get through the day—this episode is for you.

Through her own experience and years of coaching clients through jealousy, Shanenn identifies 3 specific levels most people go through: High Alert, Distance Dependent, and Emotionally Equipped. You’ll learn how to recognize where you are, why each stage feels the way it does, and how to move forward with more self-trust and less shame.

This is your roadmap out of relationship anxiety and into emotional strength.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 2:00 – The High Alert stage: spiraling thoughts, hypervigilance, and the toll on your nervous system
• 10:00 – Breaking out of unhealthy validation habits using the Think-Do-Say framework
• 17:00 – The Distance Dependent stage: calm on the surface, but still triggered by what you see
• 23:00 – Using self-focus and small wins to rewire your emotional patterns
• 28:00 – The Emotionally Equipped stage: meeting your own needs without over-relying on your partner
• 31:00 – How to bounce back after a setback without shame or spirals

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Jealousy isn’t just emotional—it becomes physical stress if left unchecked
• The Think-Do-Say model helps break compulsive habits by replacing them with conscious choices
• You can stop checking the phone without stopping all the habits—just start with one
• Self-validation is the gateway to emotional safety
• You don’t need your partner to fix your jealousy—you need tools to manage your emotional responses

❤️ Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy or insecure thoughts in their relationship
• Are trying to stop spiraling and start self-soothing
• Want practical, non-judgmental tools for emotional growth
• Are ready to take their healing seriously but with compassion
• Crave deeper connection—without losing themselves

✍️ Leave a review and let us know—what stage do you see yourself in right now? And what’s one habit you’re working to change?

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now.

Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method: Body And Mind. You’ll learn how to stop shaming your reactions, calm your nervous system, and respond in a healthier way—rather than fear, panic, or reactivity.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of body-based jealousy and emotional spirals.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Jealousy isn’t crazy—it’s a stored survival response from your nervous system

💎 Your body reacts before your brain can even form a thought

💎 BAM = Body And Mind (Breathe, Acknowledge, Move) is your new reset tool

💎 A safer body allows you to choose a better thought

💎 Explaining your nervous system reactions to your partner can build deeper understanding

Key Moments:

• 3:25 – Why jealousy can’t be “thought away” (and why 95% of your reactions aren’t logical)
• 7:17 – The real reason your stomach drops when he texts—and what your nervous system is doing
• 10:28 – Introducing BAM: Why calming your body comes before calming your thoughts
• 15:02 – The “hot stove” analogy to help explain jealousy to your partner
• 19:33 – BAM, defined: Breathe. Acknowledge. Move.
• 24:51 – What to do when your body believes an old wound is happening again
• 27:42 – How to shift into your “choice moment” once your body feels safe

Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Join the next session starting June 18th. Register here
• Watch THIS episode on YouTube
• Shanenn's new podcast:
  • On Apple Lead Without Limits
  • On YouTube Lead Without Limits

Quote of the Episode:

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy, even when “nothing is happening”
• Struggle with reactivity, spiraling thoughts, or reassurance-seeking
• Want to learn nervous system tools to feel safe in their relationship
• Are ready to replace shame with self-compassion and emotional safety
• Are doing the deep work to heal attachment wounds and regulate from the inside out

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one way you’re helping your

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with thought habit strategist and author Amy Kemp to unpack one of the most damaging patterns women struggle with—tying our self-worth to performance.

From subconscious thought loops to resentment signals, Amy shares the surprising truth behind why we feel exhausted, unseen, and over-obligated—and what we can do to reclaim our identity and energy.

If you're spiraling in your own pool of thoughts, this episode will help you understand the thought habits secretly draining you and how to replace them with empowering defaults.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 You are not your thoughts—your brain’s habits can be rewired

💎 Resentment is a neon sign flashing: “Missing boundary here”

💎 “I should” and “I have to” are energy leaks disguised as productivity

💎 Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s what shows up after you act

💎 Your natural genius is the thing that feels easy to you but amazes others

Key Moments:

· 3:45 – Why 80% of our thoughts are subconscious (and how to catch the unhealthy ones)

· 7:10 – The “value vs. performance” hand exercise that could change how you see yourself

· 12:50 – What resentment actually means (hint: it’s a missing boundary)

· 15:00 – The 3 most common toxic thought habits women carry

· 21:40 – The Resentment Audit: a practical way to uncover unspoken needs

· 25:15 – How to find your “natural genius” and stop undervaluing your gifts

About Our Guest:

Amy Kemp is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More. Her work helps women reprogram limiting thought habits so they can stop second-guessing themselves and start living and leading with clarity and energy.

Take her free Habit Finder assessment to discover your subconscious thought patterns and how to shift them at www.amykemp.com.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Habit Finder Assessment – Free at amykemp.com
• I See You by Amy Kemp – available on Amazon, Audible, and Bookshop.org

Quote of the Episode:

“Every time you feel resentment, imagine a neon sign flashing ‘Missing Boundary’—because your energy is trying to tell you something.” – Amy Kemp

Perfect for listeners who:

· Constantly feel like they “should be doing more”

· Struggle with people-pleasing, burnout, or overthinking

· Want to break free from perfectionism and performative self-worth

· Are ready to understand their energy leaks and reclaim peace

· Are looking to rediscover their identity beyond roles and titles

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one thought habit you’re ready to rewire?

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.