All right, listen. Everything's cool, okay, and if this is your first episode, PLEASE, GOD, CHOOSE ANOTHER, LITERALLY ANY OTHER EPISODE FIRST.

This is the semi-prepared story of the Tuckahoe Plantation. Come for the ghosts, stay for the Scarface special, the pretzel part, I don't know which penis, human baby stag, clones in the spiritual sense, baby Thomas senior, and jump jiving and wailing.

Sources:

• https://www.hmdb.org/m.asp?m=9249
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Randolph

One of these days we'll get back to telling ghost stories, but real quick, can we tell you this absolutely bonkers true story of a weird virgin who summoned the devil?

This is the story of John Dee. Come for the devil's hoofprint, stay for a professional ghost, a good male midlife crisis, this horoscope can't be right, cyclops cowboy, 12,000,000 degrees Celsius, book smart not street smart, and the devil changing a lightbulb.

Thanks to listener Caroline Jones for the research!

Sources:

• John Dee: Why The Elizabethan Spy Was The Original 007 | HistoryExtra
• The Magical Relics of John Dee at The British Museum – Curious Archive
• Catherine Cavendish: Dr. John Dee - Charismatic Eerie Genius of the Elizabethan Age
• John Dee: Scholar, Astrologer, and Occult Practitioner that Captivated the Royal Court of 16th Century England | Ancient Origins
• John Dee - Wikipedia
• https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-13982175

Some people say the Easter story is the greatest story ever told. But they're wrong. Strap in for the REAL DEAL.

This is the story of James Andrews and the Kennesaw House. Come for the ghosts, stay for naked Wednesday, please we have to find the monkeys, zero-plus, a whole-a$$ train, microwaved cheeseburgers for the whites, a boxcar with a pride flag, and purple monkey dishwasher.

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Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Locomotive_Chase
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_J._Andrews
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kennesaw_House
• https://www.ghostsandgravestones.com/savannah/haunted-places-in-georgia

Once upon an evening dreary, while we podded pleased but weary, over a single ne'er-forgotten piece of American lore, while I nodded, nearly boisterous at my co-host's use of "moisturous" suddenly there came a WHaM! For next came a fun fact.

This is the story of Edgar Allan Poe. Come for the ghost, stay for dripping strength, rejected mortally speaking, I have spun such a tale, an auspicious day for both of us, bubble gum flavor, the Simon Cowell of the 19th century, this one is Simpsons good, and stunt double ghosts.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Allan_Poe
• https://poemuseum.org/poe-as-americas-unabashed-critic/
• https://www.eapoe.org/works/info/chltales.htm
• https://usghostadventures.com/haunted-stories/the-ghost-of-edgar-allan-poe/
• https://www.cbsnews.com/baltimore/news/the-horse-you-came-in-on-saloon-named-most-haunted-restaurant-in-maryland/

If you want to talk Tombstone, then this episode is your huckleberry.

This is the story of the Bird Cage Theatre in Tombstone, Arizona. Come for the ghosts, stay for a needs-based person, Benicio is hard to explain, Avengers: Doomsday in monochrome, an outboard motor on that ship, a family of orca, cabin murder math, and a time of great national health,

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Schieffelin
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tombstone,_Arizona
• https://www.truewestmagazine.com/article/the-beginnings-of-the-bird-cage/
• https://ghostcitytours.com/tombstone/haunted-tombstone/bird-cage-theatre/

The Aloha State? More like the Oh-No-Ah-Ghost State! The Hawaiian islands are chockablock with haunts, and we cover a couple of them in this very special episode.

This is the story of two Ghosts of Hawaii. Come for the ghosts, stay for the only thing we got you, Patrick's scary basement, a literal archipelago, I've got a new type, a thousand-year plan, the bigger the moon, the nighter the marchers, and self-promotional stories.

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Zoos are fine if you don't think about them too much. And almost none of them have thousands of corpses beneath them!

This is the story of the Lincoln Park Zoo. Come for the ghosts, stay for puma content, the New Yerk Yerkies, this podcast makes you horny, a little wander down the fairy path, more chained animals please, lessons from Jurassic Park, I miss the goop, will you look at me, and bone raffle.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Park,_Chicago
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Park_Zoo
• https://www.oldest.org/animals/zoos-usa
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_Zoo
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cy_DeVry
• https://windycityghosts.com/the-haunted-lincoln-park-zoo-in-chicago/

They can't all be winners.

This is the story of the ghost of Jacob's Island. Come for the ghost, stay for pudding out the fire, a little bit quieter every day, the worst color for water, the Hindu Exorcist, Is This a Train?, and a subset of American congresspeople.

Sources:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Fire_of_London
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob%27s_Island
• https://london-overlooked.com/poltergeist/