In this episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Tracy McCarthy, a brilliant functional medicine physician and psychiatrist, to talk about what it really takes to heal—especially in midlife. We explored how functional medicine goes beyond symptom management and instead focuses on the root causes of chronic conditions like anxiety, fatigue, brain fog, and digestive issues. Tracy's perspective on how nutrition, inflammation, gut health, and lifestyle play into our mental and physical well-being is deeply empowering.

As someone who works with women navigating health and identity shifts in midlife, I found this conversation to be a powerful reminder that healing is possible—and it doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Dr. McCarthy shares how small, consistent changes can lead to massive improvements and how partnering with your body (not fighting it) is the key to long-term health. If you're curious about functional medicine, overwhelmed by your symptoms, or simply want to feel better in your body—this episode is for you.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Kicking off with Dr. Tracy McCarthy and the power of functional medicine.
[1:25] - Tracy shares her journey from psychiatry to root-cause healing.
[6:13] - The common symptoms Tracy sees in midlife women.
[8:04] - What the functional medicine intake and testing process looks like.
[12:06] - The importance of patient participation in healing.
[13:20] - Understanding the role of inflammation in chronic illness.
[16:56] - A powerful case study that brought it all together.
[21:27] - Gut health: the surprising link to mood and brain function.
[25:12] - The mystery behind why autoimmune issues hit women harder.
[34:14] - Prevention and aging: how much power we do have.
[38:22] - What’s really driving the health crisis in America.
[41:30] - Supplements that midlife women should consider adding.
[47:03] - Dr. McCarthy’s course and how to start your own healing journey.
[48:06] - My personal takeaway: healing starts with the first step.

Resources:

• Dr. Tracy McCarthy’s Website: www.drtracymccarthy.com
• Free Guide: Top 10 Overlooked Causes of Brain Fog, Depression & Anxiety – https://www.drtracymccarthy.com/top10
• Dr. McCarthy on Instagram: @drtracymccarthy
• Functional Medicine Resources: Institute for Functional Medicine
• Dr. McCarthy’s Online Program: The Natural Mood Sol

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this deeply honest episode, we sit down with Nora Neiterman, creative director, brand strategist, and founder of Unsweetened New York, to talk about what happens when success comes at the cost of yourself. Nora shares how building a powerful, authentic brand while juggling motherhood, caregiving, and perfectionism eventually pushed her into full-blown burnout, and why ignoring the warning signs is so common for women in midlife.

Together, we explore the hidden toll of living in constant overdrive and why healing doesn’t start by doing more, but by slowing down. Nora opens up about perimenopause, grief, nervous system work, psychedelic therapy, and the surprising ways her creativity returned once she finally listened to her body. If you’re feeling exhausted, disconnected, or quietly wondering how long you can keep going like this, this conversation will land.

Episode Highlights:

[2:01] – From fashion school to building Unsweetened New York
[4:00] – The moment that sparked the brand and why authenticity resonated so deeply
[7:35] – Why women connected so powerfully to unapologetic messaging
[9:31] – Advice for women with an idea who feel “too busy” or “too late”
[12:28] – Why midlife is actually the prime time to pivot and build something new
[14:24] – When passion turns into pressure and the freight train won’t slow down
[17:56] – Early warning signs of burnout that are easy to ignore
[19:52] – Sleep deprivation, stimulants, and living in constant overdrive
[22:08] – Perfectionism, resentment, and struggling to ask for help
[25:46] – Perimenopause, grief, and the slow approach of the wall
[31:21] – Starting over with micro-steps instead of more “stacking”
[33:15] – Psychedelic therapy, intention setting, and unexpected healing
[35:52] – Letting go of alcohol, stimulants, and old coping mechanisms
[38:56] – Reconnecting with creativity by learning how to feel again
[39:58] – Final reflections on authenticity, healing, and choosing yourself

Links & Resources:

Unsweetened New York Website: www.unsweetenednewyork.com

Unsweetened NY on Instagram: @unsweetenednewyork
Nora on Instagram: @noraneiterman

If today’s conversation resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share Insights from the Couch with others. Your support helps us reach more women and continue having these honest, meaningful conversations.

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

The holidays are here, and if you’re already feeling that mix of excitement, pressure, and low-key dread, you’re in good company. In this episode, we dig into why holiday burnout hits women so disproportionately hard, how old expectations keep sneaking in, and what we can actually do to reclaim joy, presence, and a sense of sanity this season. From perfectionism and invisible labor to new traditions and deliciously low-effort holiday moments, we’re getting honest about what has to shift.

Together, we explore the inner work, the practical strategies, and the gentle permission slips that help us show up for the holidays in a way that feels good—without losing ourselves or burning out in the process. If you've ever felt torn between wanting magic and wanting a nap, this is your episode.

Episode Highlights:

[0:03] – Kicking off the convo: why holiday burnout hits women hardest
[1:54] – Laura reflects on past years of over-functioning through the holidays
[3:08] – The pressure of “perfect” holidays and the invisible mental load
[4:52] – The struggle of asking for help and shedding generational conditioning
[6:11] – Family-of-origin expectations and the identity tied to holiday perfection
[9:03] – The emotional payoff vs. resentment check-in
[10:08] – Letting go of perfect, simplifying, and knowing your “why”
[12:22] – Delegation, releasing control, and tolerating the discomfort
[14:11] – When your aesthetics get in the way of shared experiences
[15:40] – Creating new rituals and letting go of traditions that no longer fit
[18:18] – Low-effort connection and shared experiences that truly matter
[20:03] – Embracing flexibility and shifting holiday dates without guilt
[21:44] – Managing blended family holidays and redefining “the day”
[22:22] – Avoiding consumer overwhelm and choosing experiences over stuff
[23:52] – Gift ideas that foster connection (and zero clutter)
[25:18] – Silent Book Clubs, parallel play, and refreshing social rituals
[26:55] – Reclaiming meaningful ritual with creativity and openness
[27:55] – The power of daily gratitude and shifting the emotional tone
[28:15] – Preparing for others’ disappointment when you take things down a notch
[28:40] – Emotional maturity, boundaries, and choosing what truly matters
[30:01] – Final reminders for a holiday season rooted in joy, not pressure

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this heartfelt and revealing episode, we dive deep into the patterns, red flags, and emotional toll of loving someone who just can’t meet you emotionally. We’re joined by our brilliant friend Dr. Marni Feuerman—psychotherapist, author of Ghosted and Breadcrumbed, and relationship expert regularly featured in outlets like Psychology Today and SELF. Together, we unpack the signs of emotional unavailability, why so many women get stuck in these painful dynamics, and how to reclaim your power and self-worth in love.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a loop of confusing relationships, holding out hope for someone to change, or caught in the charm of a man who’s all spark and no follow-through, this episode is for you. We explore everything from love bombing and ghosting to deeper therapeutic patterns rooted in childhood attachment. Whether you’re dating, healing from heartbreak, or helping a friend, this conversation offers insight, validation, and practical advice to help you break free and choose healthier love.

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] - Welcoming Dr. Marni and introducing her book Ghosted and Breadcrumbed
[2:45] - What defines emotional unavailability and its many forms
[5:00] - Dating dynamics: the seductive yet misleading early connection
[6:27] - Ghosting explained—why it happens and how it impacts the nervous system
[11:37] - Breadcrumbing: what it is and how it keeps you stuck
[14:37] - What healthy dating should look like (hint: it’s consistent)
[18:23] - When emotional inconsistency feels like love (but isn’t)
[22:44] - Why some men are emotionally unavailable: socialization, trauma, and patterns
[27:17] - The dark triad: narcissism, charm, and emotional manipulation
[31:54] - Affairs with married men: why they’re more common than you think and rarely end well
[38:00] - Hard truths about “being the one he’ll finally choose”
[42:37] - How therapy and self-awareness help you break the cycle
[45:25] - The danger of “projects” and choosing from compassion instead of compatibility
[48:53] - Attachment wounds, revising your definition of love, and healing forward
[49:43] - Final encouragement from Dr. Marni and where to find her work

Links & Resources

• Dr. Marni Feuerman’s Book: Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart About Healthy Relationships
• Website & Free Checklist: www.drmarnionline.com
• Psychotherapy Practice: www.thetalkingsolution.com

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this Thanksgiving episode, we’re settling in together—just like we would the night before a big holiday—to talk about the messy, heartfelt, complicated world of family dynamics. Even though both of us are having quieter Thanksgivings this year, we’re deep in our own real-life family seasons, and this conversation comes straight from the thick of it. We explore why the holidays stir up so much, why cut-offs have become so common, and how we can show up for ourselves without losing connection to the people we care about.

We also dive into emotional tolerance, boundaries that actually work in real life, and the surprising ways expectations shape our holiday experience. If you’ve ever found yourself caretaking, peace-keeping, bracing for a “difficult someone,” or wondering how to handle the big personalities at the table—this episode will meet you right where you are.

Episode Highlights:

[0:03] – Opening the Thanksgiving conversation and why this episode feels especially timely
[1:16] – How our own holiday plans are shaping the way we’re thinking about family this year
[2:49] – The pressure to perform during the holidays and why “doing less” may feel better
[3:31] – Colette’s recent family gatherings and the emotional residue they stirred up
[4:17] – Real stories from reunions and why so many adults are dealing with family cut-offs
[5:34] – How cut-offs impact entire family systems and why they rarely bring relief
[7:21] – Understanding emotional bandwidth and the “dial” approach to relationships
[9:46] – Avoidance, repair, and why making the first move feels so vulnerable
[11:46] – When someone can’t meet you emotionally—and how to interpret that
[14:51] – The painful power dynamics created by the least emotionally developed family member
[16:29] – Caring for everyone but yourself: preparing meals, hosting, and old relational wounds
[17:22] – The essential role of expectations and how they can make or break a holiday
[18:46] – Triangulation, family cliques, and protecting your emotional space
[20:00] – Setting boundaries without being pulled into old patterns
[21:58] – Self-care strategies when staying with—or hosting—challenging family members
[23:20] – The nuance of “don’t abandon yourself” and holding two truths at once
[25:56] – Choosing what’s worth addressing—and what you can let go for your own peace
[28:09] – Why cut-offs are increasing and the need for a deeper cultural conversation
[29:45] – Setting limits, protecting yourself, and managing difficult personalities
[30:55] – Releasing holiday perfectionism and letting the day be what it is
[33:14] – The power of intention-setting and micro-gratitudes to shape your mindset
[34:23] – How to soo

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this episode, we're joined by one of our absolute favorite authors and experts, Dr. Meg Jay, PhD. She's a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of The Defining Decade and The 20-Something Treatment, and she dives deep with us into why our 20s are such a defining time—and how many of the same principles can also empower us in midlife.

We explore identity capital, weak ties, economic uncertainty, and how to better support our 20-something children as they navigate early adulthood. If you're in your 40s or 50s and parenting adult children, or just looking to reimagine your own next chapter, this conversation is packed with validation, insight, and incredibly practical advice. You do not want to miss this one!

Episode Highlights:

[0:40] - Welcoming Dr. Meg Jay and fangirling over The Defining Decade

[3:36] - Why your 20s are the most uncertain and anxiety-filled decade

[5:53] - The myth of the carefree 20s and how financial constraints factor in

[8:17] - The stress of unstructured life after college and the reality of job-hopping

[10:12] - Identity capital: what it is and why it matters

[14:57] - Learning from jobs you don't love (hello, Rolling Stone fashion closet!)

[16:20] - How perfectionism and enabling parenting can keep 20-somethings stuck

[20:05] - The "redefining decade": applying these principles to midlife

[21:22] - The power of weak ties and how to actually use them

[24:25] - Gen Z vs Gen X: similarities, differences, and the impact of social media

[26:21] - Economic challenges and the nuance of living with your parents

[30:06] - Launching vs enabling: helping adult children become independent

[33:20] - Teaching resilience: tolerating uncertainty without pathologizing it

[34:08] - From cooking to job skills: the basics that build real confidence

[36:18] - Helping young adults recognize and activate their own agency

[38:50] - Dating intentionally: choosing your partner is choosing your family

[42:09] - Avoiding emotional entanglement before compatibility is clear

[44:57] - Trial, error, and the wisdom of approaching dating like job searching

Links & Resources:

• Dr. Meg Jay’s Website: https://megjay.com/
• Dr. Meg Jay’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmegjay

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meanin

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this episode of Insights From the Couch, we’re diving deep into what Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) really is—and what it’s not. Forget the casual "I'm so OCD" comment—this conversation is all about the real, often misunderstood experiences of those living with this challenging and complex disorder. We're joined by two of our favorite experts: Dr. Brady Bradshaw, a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, and Dr. Robyn Cohen, a developmental neuropsychologist. Together, we explore the many faces of OCD, from harm OCD to contamination fears, and mental compulsions that happen entirely inside someone’s mind.

We’re also pulling back the curtain on the often-overlooked aspects of OCD like the shame, stigma, and difficulty getting an accurate diagnosis. Whether you’re someone navigating OCD, a therapist wanting to learn more, or a loved one trying to understand what’s going on—this episode offers education, empathy, and evidence-based strategies for healing. Plus, we talk treatment, including exposure and response prevention (ERP), medication, and what real recovery can look like.

Episode Highlights:

[0:26] - Welcome and overview of today’s topic: the real story behind OCD
[1:31] - Meet Dr. Bradshaw and Dr. Cohen: their roles and experiences with OCD
[3:02] - What OCD actually is vs. common misconceptions
[6:10] - Breaking down the subtypes: harm, contamination, symmetry, hoarding, and more
[8:10] - Mental compulsions explained with powerful real-life examples
[11:01] - Is OCD just intense anxiety? Exploring how it's neurologically distinct
[13:20] - The overlap of OCD with ADHD, autism, trichotillomania, and body-focused repetitive behaviors
[17:42] - The diagnostic challenge: why OCD is often missed or misdiagnosed
[21:43] - What’s going on in the brain during OCD—and how treatment changes the brain
[23:44] - Living with OCD: analogies, partner dynamics, and the emotional toll
[25:27] - The gold standard: treatment options like ERP and when meds are needed
[28:19] - The importance of working with experienced ERP-trained therapists
[32:53] - Pushing the limits with exposure—and why it works
[37:50] - Naming the OCD: why it helps and how it shifts control
[39:13] - The importance of trust and creativity in therapeutic interventions
[40:07] - Relationship OCD and health anxiety—subtypes or something else?
[43:03] - How to support a loved one with OCD (without enabling compulsions)
[46:35] - Final takeaways: treatment works, and there’s real freedom on the other side
[47:36] - Where to find Dr. Bradshaw and Dr. Cohen

Links and Resources:

· Dr. Brady Bradshaw: https://www.

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

We are beyond excited to welcome the brilliant Tonya Lester to the couch this week! As a psychotherapist, writer, and author of the new book Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself, Tonya joins us for a raw and resonant conversation about how women lose their voices in relationships, how to reclaim them, and why it’s never too late to start showing up fully for yourself.

We dig into some of the most pressing issues we see with women in midlife—emotional labor, resentment, perfectionism, and the dreaded “burned out pursuer” dynamic. Tonya shares powerful truths about why many marriages break down long before anyone leaves, what holds women back from setting boundaries, and how we can all take emotional risks to wake up to the lives we want. This is an honest, compassionate, and deeply validating episode that will leave you feeling seen, fired up, and ready to push back in all the right ways.

Episode Highlights:

[0:26] – Welcoming Tonya Lester and her powerful new book
[2:04] – From acting to therapy: Tonya’s journey into couples work
[4:28] – The repeated story of women hitting their breaking point
[7:47] – What pushback really looks like in relationships
[10:04] – Burned out pursuers: when women have nothing left to give
[13:50] – Why powerful women lose their voice in marriage
[15:34] – The “bad deal” many women are stuck in
[16:03] – Are women outgrowing men?
[17:24] – The invisible labor of “man keeping”
[18:49] – How women are penalized for assertiveness at work
[22:55] – Perfectionism: it’s not about excellence, it’s about anxiety
[27:29] – Visibility, risk-taking, and the fear of not being good enough
[30:23] – Reclaiming your life force after years of disconnection
[31:58] – Weather vane emotions: resentment, jealousy, anger
[35:52] – The long, slow process of waking up to your needs
[38:36] – What if the outcome isn’t what you hoped for?
[40:58] – Modeling empowered living for the next generation
[42:05] – Tonya’s biggest hope for readers of Push Back

Links and Resources:

• Tonya Lester’s website: https://www.tonyalester.com/
• Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself — Available on Amazon, Bookshop, and Barnes & Noble
• Psychology Today Blog: Staying Sane Inside Insanity
• Follow Tonya on Instagram: @tonyalesterpsychotherapy

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.