『Influence Every Day』のカバーアート

Influence Every Day

Influence Every Day

著者： Dr. Ed Tori
無料で聴く

このコンテンツについて

 Do you want to get to the next level in your communication? To turn everyday moments into impactful and unforgettable change agents? The Influence Every Day Show is for you if you're ready to level up every relationship you have. Dr. Tori shares his expertise in influence, persuasion, rapport and behavior change each week - small tweaks to your day-to-day interactions that will influence for good. Follow along on Instagram @ed.tori© 2025 Influence Everywhere, LLC 個人的成功 出世 就職活動 経済学 自己啓発
エピソード
  • 066 Buts of Steel - 2 Small Words That Quietly Shape Every Conversation

    066 Buts of Steel - 2 Small Words That Quietly Shape Every Conversation
    2025/12/02
    066 Buts of Steel: The Small Words That Quietly Shape Every Conversation The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori In the 1980s, there was a workout show called Buns of Steel—but today’s episode isn’t about glutes. It’s about something far more important to your influence, your relationships, and your leadership: your “Buts of Steel.” Not the muscles - the frames your language creates. Two tiny one-syllable words—and and but—decide what the brain focuses on, how people interpret your message, and whether a conversation opens up…or shuts down. These words can: shift emotional tone, start or stop arguments, open or close partnerships, encourage honesty or shut it down, help a leader receive information—or block it out. This episode dives into how “but” acts like a spotlight + eraser in neurolinguistic programming and why “and” allows two truths to coexist. More importantly, it shows how using “but” repeatedly can harden into a pattern—a pattern that becomes a habit— and that habit becomes how people experience you. That’s what Dr. Tori calls A “But of Steel. 🔍 The Three Ugly Buts (and How They Derail Influence) 1. Compliment → BUT → Critique “You did a great job… but the ending felt rushed.” Effect: The compliment gets erased. The critique becomes the only thing that lands. Fix: “You did a great job and it was a little rushed at the end.” Both truths survive. 2. Acknowledge → BUT → Dismiss “I get what you’re saying… but that’s not how we do things around here.” Effect: This is the death spiral of leadership. It quietly shuts down ideas, creativity, dissent, and psychological safety. Repeated often enough, people stop coming to you entirely—no matter how “open-door” you claim to be. This is one of the most dangerous “Buts of Steel.” 3. Intention → BUT → Obstacle (Self-Talk) “I want to write more… but I’m never motivated.” “I want to eat healthier… but the snack bar at work is full of junk.” Effect: You negate your own intention and center the obstacle. You shine a spotlight on why you can’t take action instead of why you should. This keeps you stuck—and often convinces you the problem is external. 🌟 The Three Beautiful Buts (When ‘But’ Is the RIGHT Tool) “But” isn’t always the villain. Used intentionally, it creates necessary rigid frames—your real Buts of Steel. 1. Setting Boundaries “I know you’re frustrated, but we don’t speak to our employees that way.” This is clarity + protection. A “but” here creates safety. 2. Clarifying Non-Negotiables A recent example Dr. Tori shares: A contract for a speaking engagement included an extreme IP clause. He responded (appropriately) with a but to draw an unmistakable line. “But” is the right choice when something cannot be compromised. 3. Reaffirming Values & Ethics “I know everyone’s feeling pressure, but when we cut corners, we make things dangerous.” Here, “but” reinforces standards and raises the conversation back to values. When ethics or safety are at stake, a firm ‘but’ is leadership. 💥 Why “But” Creates Steel Frames Dr. Tori explains that: “But” erases what came before. “But” highlights what comes after. “But” breaks a frame and replaces it with a new one. Repeated “buts” become patterns, and patterns become habits. In leadership or parenting, these habits define what others feel safe sharing with you. If you consistently use “but” to negate emotions, ideas, or intentions, people learn: “Don’t bring things to them—they won’t really hear you.” Conversely, when used deliberately in the right moments, “but” becomes a necessary tool for clarity, boundaries, and ethics. 🧪 Three Experiments for This Week Dr. Tori gives three simple, high-impact experiments for you to try: 1. Swap One “Yeah, but…” for a “Yes, and…” Do it once this week—especially in writing (email or text), where tone is easiest to misinterpret. 2. Flip Compliment → BUT → Critique into Critique → BUT → Compliment Still use “but,” but reverse the order: “It was a little rushed at the end, but overall it was phenomenal.” This preserves the praise instead of erasing it. 3. Use “But” to Set One Boundary Try a single clear, healthy boundary using “but.” Practice making the frame firm without being harsh or hostile. 🎯 Final Warning — and an Invitation If you mindlessly use “but,” you risk forging ugly Buts of Steel—rigid frames that accidentally shut down connection, truth, creativity, and collaboration. But if you use it intentionally, you can create beautiful Buts of Steel—the kind that set boundaries, reinforce values, and strengthen relationships. If you found this episode helpful… Share it with someone who needs better “buts,” better frames, and better conversations. Check out HypnoticGiftsBook.com for Dr. Tori...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    12 分
  • 065 Spiritual Math and the Nate Jones Effect

    065 Spiritual Math and the Nate Jones Effect
    2025/11/13
    Episode 065 - Spiritual Math and the Nate Jones Effect

    What if the good you do doesn’t stop when you do it?

    In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori reflects on a powerful discovery: a newspaper article from 1995 that his late mother had saved - a story about his college t-shirt fundraisers that raised thousands for charity. Hidden in the article was a forgotten thread: he had once donated in the name of a 7-year-old boy named Nate Jones, who had raised $100 for a homeless shelter.

    Decades later, that act reemerged - shaping reflection, identity, and a concept Dr. Tori’s mentor would later call “The Nate Jones Effect.”

    🔢 The Idea of Spiritual Math

    Some math can’t be done on paper.

    The smallest good can ripple through:

    • Identities - A child who gives learns who he is.

    • Communities - A stranger multiplies the act in his name.

    • Generations - Children decades later read about it and are moved to do good.

    The lesson: good doesn’t just add up; it compounds - invisibly, exponentially, sometimes beyond your lifetime.

    💡 Reflection Prompts

    1. Who is your “Nate Jones”? Who quietly moved you to do something good?

    2. When was the last time you multiplied someone else’s goodness instead of just admiring it?

    3. How might your unseen acts be shaping someone’s story right now - someone you’ll never meet?

    🧭 Key Takeaway

    We often look for proof of our impact - reports, outcomes, numbers.

    But spiritual math lives in the ripples: in the people inspired, the words repeated, the habits that echo.

    You may never see the results, but the ledger is real.

    Keep doing good - the math is already working in your favor.

    🪞Quote from the Episode

    “What if every ripple of good that spreads from your actions is written down - every life touched, every story sparked, every unseen echo? That’s spiritual math.”

    🧩 Apply the Nate Jones Effect

    This week:

    • Notice a small good act by someone else.

    • Multiply it - anonymously, in their name.

    • Let it ripple.

    🔗 Resources Mentioned

    • HypnoticGiftsBook.com - A framework for transforming lives through a single conversation.

    • DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1 - Apply for personal influence coaching with Dr. Tori.
    続きを読む 一部表示
    8 分
  • 064 Solace in the Lost and Found

    064 Solace in the Lost and Found
    2025/11/10
    Episode 064 - Solace in the Lost & Found The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori Show Notes

    Loss changes the rhythm of life. It reshapes conversations, rewires memories, and redefines silence. But hidden inside grief is often a quiet invitation - to carry forward what was best in the one we’ve lost.

    In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori shares a powerful conversational frame that helps others (and ourselves) move not on from loss, but with it. It begins with true listening - TING - the kind of listening that uses your whole presence. From that deep attention, something extraordinary can happen.

    Here’s the simple, human pattern:

    • Listen wholly. Not to fix. Not to fill silence. Just to hold space.

    • Notice permission signals. When someone shifts from facts to stories, they’re inviting depth.

    • Spot the light. When they describe a beautiful trait of the one they’ve lost - pause there.

    • Invite expansion. “Tell me more about how they made others feel loved.”

    • Honor it. Acknowledge its beauty. Sit in it for a beat.

    • Then, gently reframe. “If you were to bring a little more of that into your own life, what might that look like?”

    It’s not about replacing or distracting from grief. It’s about transformation through continuation - helping someone find the living thread of their loved one in the acts and traits they admired most.

    Grief doesn’t have to be the end of connection. It can be a new beginning of carrying forward what was good, kind, and true.

    Reflection Prompt:

    Think of someone you’ve lost.

    What was their superpower?

    What would it look like if you paid it forward - even once this week?

    Resources Mentioned:

    • TING - The Art of Listening

    • HypnoticGiftsBook.com - Discover how to transform someone’s life in a single conversation

    • DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1 - For 1:1 influence immersion coaching

    Takeaway:

    We honor those we’ve lost not by moving on - but by moving with them, through every act of kindness we continue in their name.
    続きを読む 一部表示
    11 分
まだレビューはありません