エピソード

  • Beyond the Bedroom: How Sex Toys Deepened Our Relationship

    Beyond the Bedroom: How Sex Toys Deepened Our Relationship
    2025/07/30
    This week, we’re diving deep—literally and emotionally. Koaty and Sumner open up about how adult toys transformed our sex life and brought us closer as a couple. From our first unrealistic dildo to designing our very own double penetration mold with Mr. Hankey’s Toys, this episode is all about pleasure, trust, and play. We’re talking:
    • Why toys aren’t a last resort—they’re the gateway to emotional safety
    • How we use them to explore power dynamics and deepen communication
    • What it was really like getting our dicks molded in buckets of silicone
    • Our honest reviews of toys we’ve tried (yes, even the punching dildo machine)
    • Plus: tips for couples navigating their first toy experience
    We also share why we partnered with Mr. Hankey’s Toys—a brand that gets it. They don’t just make fantasy toys, they make real tools for connection. Our custom DP dildo is now live on their site, and it’s built with platinum-cured, medical-grade silicone—aka, the good stuff. Whether you're curious, kinky, or just ready to laugh at us oversharing (again), this episode has something for every couple looking to keep things hot, honest, and hella fun.

    👉 Check out our collab toy at https://www.mrhankeystoys.com/

    Search the KoatySum Dildo

    (P.S. Use water-based lube. Your toys will thank you.)
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    31 分
  • Why Gay Men Feel Disconnected—And How to Fix It (w/ Dr. Hector)

    Why Gay Men Feel Disconnected—And How to Fix It (w/ Dr. Hector)
    2025/07/23
    In this special “first-in-bed” episode, Koaty & Sumner welcome their first actual in-bed guest: psychiatrist, entrepreneur, and emotional edge-walker Dr. Hector.

    Together, they get real about why so many gay men struggle to feel emotionally connected—even in hyper-social, hyper-sexual spaces. From intimacy issues to trauma loops, hookup culture to healing, this episode peels back the layers with insight, humor, and zero shame.

    ⚡ Topics we cover:
    • Why high-functioning doesn’t mean emotionally fulfilled
    • Shame, identity, and sex: the invisible triangle
    • Rebuilding trust with yourself (before anyone else)
    • What gay men really want from connection—and how to get there

    This isn’t therapy, but it might feel like it.

    🦋 Guest: Dr. Hector
    Psychiatrist. Creative. Sacred outcast. Founder of The White Butterfly.
    @drhector.rodriguez | doctorhector.com
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    56 分
  • What is sex therapy with Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of Rebel Love

    What is sex therapy with Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of Rebel Love
    2025/07/16
    This week, we’re in bed with the one and only Dr. Chris Donaghue—sex therapist, author, and queer truth-teller behind the book Rebel Love. We dive deep into the messy beauty of queer intimacy, ethical sex, and rewriting every outdated rule we’ve been told about love and relationships.

    From emotional differentiation to kinky exploration, Dr. Chris helps us unpack how shame-free pleasure and radical honesty can actually heal our relationships. We also get personal about sex work, queer partnership, and what it means to reclaim love outside the heteronormative script. Oh—and we may have gotten a little too honest. But hey, that’s the point, right?

    💬 Let us know what part cracked you open the most.

    📚 Grab Rebel Love here: https://www.amazon.com/Rebel-Love-Break-Free-Relationships/dp/0593443025
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    47 分
  • Differentiation, Exploration, and Red Flags with Author Tom Bruett

    Differentiation, Exploration, and Red Flags with Author Tom Bruett
    2025/07/02
    We’re joined by therapist and author Tom Bruett, whose book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men has genuinely impacted our relationship. In this honest and vulnerable conversation, we dive deep into the two stages that rocked us the most: Differentiation and Exploration.

    We talk about what it really means to stay emotionally connected while becoming your own person, how to ask for what you want in bed (without shame), and why open relationships often bring up the deepest communication work. Tom shares what it was like writing his most personal chapter, and we open up about how the book has helped us become better partners.

    💬 Learning to set boundaries without shutting down
    🧠 The power of sex-positive, vulnerable conversations
    ❤️ Why differentiation can feel scary—but lead to deeper love

    And of course, we close it out with a classic Koaty and Sumner game: Red Flag or Growth Lag? We throw out spicy relationship scenarios, and Tom tells us whether it’s a dealbreaker—or just a couple stuck in one of the book’s core stages.

    This episode is heartfelt, hilarious, and deeply helpful for anyone in a queer relationship (or hoping to be in one).
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    54 分
  • Daddy Issues & Narcissist Parents: Knowing When to Cut Ties

    Daddy Issues & Narcissist Parents: Knowing When to Cut Ties
    2025/06/25
    In this vulnerable and validating episode, Koaty shares the emotional journey behind cutting off his father—and the years of narcissistic behavior, gaslighting, and betrayal that led up to it. We explore how hard it can be to draw boundaries with a parent, especially when manipulation is masked as love. From financial deception to emotional abuse, we break down the signs of a narcissistic parent, why it’s okay to walk away, and how chosen family can sometimes be the safest family. And of course, it wouldn’t be us without a little fun—Sumner closes the episode with a spicy quiz to find out once and for all: does Koaty have daddy issues? This episode is part healing, part chaos, and 100% real.
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    41 分
  • Ex Mormon, Ex Engineer, Ex tra Gay

    Ex Mormon, Ex Engineer, Ex tra Gay
    2025/06/11
    From church pews to OnlyFans views. In this episode, Sumner opens up about growing up Mormon—from blessing sacrament trays as a teenager to being interrogated by bishops about masturbation (yep, really). Koaty plays Mormon Mythbusters and finds out just how weird—and wildly repressive—Sumner’s childhood really was.

    We get into sex shame, secret Mormon wife culture, sacred underwear, and how leaving the Church helped Sumner finally reclaim his sexuality.

    If you’ve ever grown up in purity culture, questioned religion, or just love messy spiritual trauma with a gay twist… this one’s for you.

    👼 Trauma dump meets temple tea. Tap in.
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    53 分
  • The ICCAs, The Trophy, and The Trap of Comparison

    The ICCAs, The Trophy, and The Trap of Comparison
    2025/06/04
    "Hey!!! We just got back from Puerto Vallarta, where we were nominated for three awards at the very first International Content Creator Awards (aka the ICCAs)… and we took home Best Podcast! 🏆 In this episode, we’re sharing all the highlights: from the content house vibes to the red carpet feels, and what it meant to be surrounded by so many creators in one space.

    We also open up about the mental side of it all — the pressure to compare, the way looks can mess with your self-worth, and how we’re learning to keep it real with ourselves even in the middle of all the glam. Spoiler: we still had an amazing time and looked damn good doing it.
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    30 分
  • Do We Like It Tight or Loose? A Gay Fashion + Fetish Showdown

    Do We Like It Tight or Loose? A Gay Fashion + Fetish Showdown
    2025/05/21
    Skinny jeans are out. Baggy cargos are in. Harnesses? Always timeless. In this episode, Sumner & Koaty Blayne dive headfirst into the messy, sexy, and sometimes downright busted world of gay men’s fashion. From growing up in skin-tight clubwear to navigating the oversized streetwear takeover, they spill all the tea.
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    36 分