エピソード

  • What Secrets Does Vatican Hold
    2026/10/05

    Honorary driver Michael Higham returns to help John and merritt plan the first-ever Drivey Airport Lounge, including such innovations as the Person in Residence, honor system sleep pods, the vacuum bed and others, in addition to broader topics such as Big Head Todd and the Monsters, the #4-ranked Runescape player in the world, and if you can believe it, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    59 分
  • Save Money on Hot
    2026/09/28

    merritt bravely weathers her debilitating illness to help John and Niki handle a slew of new problems facing everyday people, including what we're thickening, the Caligulan excess of artificial temperature differences, the Canadian Football League, and much more, including the return of Niki's Picks and Scam Text Theater.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    49 分
  • We Let You Say It
    2026/09/21

    Wow, 200 episodes. It seems like only yesterday that I found John, Niki, merritt and LB in that puddle of green ooze in the sewers underneath New York City, and now look at them. A rough a tumble team of crime fighters, each with their own unique skills and abilities, working together to protect everyday people from the nefarious Foot Clan and its ruthless leader, Shredder. Also featuring the return of Niki's Picks!


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    58 分
  • Almond Brothers
    2026/09/14

    ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because John, merritt and Niki definitely are!!!!! It's time for the new season to start and that means YOU get a one-way trip to the end zone for a podcast jam-cracked full of insights, predictions and postulations about that dang ol' pigskin. FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    53 分
  • Richard "Dick" Pants
    2026/09/07

    merritt, John and Niki discuss Tom, Jerry, and the importance of family. Also I think Mike Meyers is in there somewhere.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    49 分
  • Bikini Couch and the Upside-down Car
    2026/08/31

    Okay yes, we can't act like it doesn't happen: Niki, merritt and John talk about Grand Theft Auto 6 on this episode. But it's not the only thing they talk about! Please!! You have to understand!!


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    57 分
  • Guest House of Mouse
    2026/08/24

    But really, how much can Frasier Crane Dot Com possibly cost?


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    57 分
  • The Full Nightbane
    2026/08/17

    Folks, it's a full Nightbane episode. That's right, if you for some reason aren't aware or haven't listened to the bonuses, Merritt frequently has Niki and John playing legally-distinct-from-Clive-Barker's-Nightbreed tabletop role-playing game Nightbane in bonus episodes.


    This full episode is just a long version of that, complete with character creation and a short campaign. Do you like how Niki and John played? Do you like Lizard Caplan and Jenna?


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    1 時間 1 分