Protect your peace. Cut off toxic friends. Match their energy.

You’ve seen these all over Instagram. So have I. And they make my skin crawl. I’m not a Pollyanna about it. I’ve just read your surveys. Hundreds of them. And your answers tell a different story.

This is a solo episode. Just me, a stack of printouts, and the data you’ve given me through The Best Friend Project. I walk through the three friendship memes that drive me up a wall. I read from your surveys, including a note from Lucy in New York that I have permission to read. I share a story about an extrovert, an introvert, and a party invite list that almost ended a friendship. And I ask you to guess a number. Most of you will guess low.

I also push back on two of the biggest names in the friendship conversation right now (scary!) Adam Grant’s new book Vibe, and Mel Robbins empahsis on on proximity.

Plus, we go behind the scenes! I share the reality of launching this project using postcards in bathroom stalls across the country. Find out which airport bathroom I’m convinced never gets cleaned, what doors convert higher and how I handle bathroom attendants.

If you’ve been ghosted by a best friend, let a friendship fade, or wondered if you should reach out to someone you miss, press play.

Books I mention:

The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis (https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Four-Loves-Audiobook/B08ZNZW464?)

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/376130-the-four-agreements-a-practical-guide-to-personal-freedom)

Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World by Adam Grant (https://www.audible.com/pd/Vibe-Audiobook/B0GPKJWX93?)

Stay Golden, Girls: Friendship Is the New Marriage by Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DJMVJYPB?)

Fighting for Our Friendships by Danielle Bayard Jackson (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0306830612?)

It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn (https://markwolynn.com/it-didnt-start-with-you/)

Episodes I reference:

Shameless Elle (https://youtu.be/O_czSELnWrw)

Melanie Curtis (https://youtu.be/CYo1viN5k3w)

Danielle Young (https://youtu.be/pDZpA4r6ER4)

Barb Braaten (https://youtu.be/RDuLfG5ZFWg)

Ali Lohman (https://youtu.be/dVLK5yV34uQ)

Beth Pacunas (https://youtu.be/pn_mw4hvrz8)

Take the survey: thebestfriendproject.co
Want postcards for your town? DM me or email hello@thebestfriendproject.com

Every friendship has a story. What’s yours?

Chapters:

00:00 — Cold Open

01:36 — The Friendship That Ended With a Text Message

02:11 — Why I Started The Best Friend Project

07:46 — 7,000 Miles of Friendship Stories

12:59 — The Friendship Table That Changed How I See Friendship

17:32 — Three Friendship Myths on Social Media That Get Under My Skin

21:59 — Cutting Off “Toxic Friends” and the People We Still Miss

26:02 — “Match Their Energy”: The Friendship That Almost Ended

33:02 — Should We Really Be Ranking Our Friendships?

36:57 — Are Friendships Really About Proximity, Timing, and Energy?

44:33 — The Lessons That Could Change How You Show Up in Friendship

48:17 — The Best Friend Project Is Heading to TEDx!

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